People and lifts!

[PearsandAlmonds]

What is it about lifts that brings the worst out in people?

We have a woman who is currently interning for a short period of time in our department (in her thirties - not a teen).

While I don't directly work in the area she's in, her manager got in contact with me because we live in the same area and asked if I could bring her in for about a month, six weeks at the most, until she is moved on to the next department in her internship. She's been waiting at the end of my road every morning, and I have been picking her up with absolutely no issues for about a month. She is on time, always ready to go. Perfectly pleasant.

I am away for work for a few days, so I mentioned this to her in advance and also let her manager know in passing that alternate arrangements need to be made (as he thought the 6 weeks were fully covered)

She turned up this morning, knocked on my front door, and when my DH answered, said that she expected that 'someone' would drive her in because I was away.

He laughingly said, 'What, on the handlebars of my bicycle?' She got very affronted at that. (He was dressed in cycle gear, to be clear, and had a bike out in the hallway ready to go - as he was on the way to his job)

She then just stood there and asked what he was going to do about it (not aggressively but obviously expecting him to solve or do something) - he said 'I am sure you will work it out' and cycled off

Who does that?!?

You expect him to pay for a strangers taxi 😂

He could claim it back from the wife if the wife had an arrangement.

This woman us delusional! Love your husbands response. That manager was cheeky to ask you for a lift in the first place.

Good shout; I assume it's from a similar mindset as weaponised incompetence, as ultimately it is a behaviour formed in selfishness with a view to task reduction/abducation.

The OP wasn't even being paid a penny in petrol money! Did you read the thread?

However, this initial part of the internship is focused entirely on introductions. There is no requirement for formal feedback, and when he asked to provide some, he was advised it was not necessary at this stage, as it is a tour of what we do, our working areas, and our facilities, rather than the practical placement stage, which will come later and require formal feedback

So she’s continuing? No one can say ‘you’re a bit crap’ at this stage?

Nope.
Some people cant tolerate being stuck in a car with a stranger and having to make small talk.
Id rather sabotage my car/go sick/.hand my notice in than have to do that.

Fair play to your DH for handling the incident like that. Perfect. No notes.

It's her responsibility to find an alternative way into work. Especially as you were away because of work. Batty.

He could leave the adult woman to sort out her own transport?

I couldn’t work out why OP was giving her a lift in the first place - she described it as ‘not far’ and it was only to work, not home again.

I wonder how she gets to her usual place of work?

Why on Earth did you agree to this arrangement in the first place? I'd stop them after seeing her entitlement.

I've had to read the OPs posts over three times because I cannot wrap my head around this approach to life. Baffling. I don't understand this at all

"Essentially, she is of the opinion that if you leave a gap, people cannot help themselves but step in to fill it and solve the issue."
This sounds like the perfect definition of a CF! 🤔😂

I used to work with a simpering airhead someone called Jennifer. She even had a mug at work with the words: JENNIFER, meaning 'lovely' written on it, in case any of us needed confirmation.😂

She was incapable of doing anything as simple as putting more paper in the photocopier, and would waft about helplessly waiting for someone to do it for her.

Yup. I think it's 6 mo of touring and shadowing - then she elects an area of interest (unless a team chooses to specifically champion her); then she will be expected to take on the coursework and some responsibilities

That's the point currently: she doesn't have a 'usual place of work' - she is on a rotation across all business areas, so I was happy to help out for 6 weeks, one way, for a 20- 25 min drive. She has been on time, quiet, pleasant, and no actual bother.

Yes there are definitely people like this. I learned a harsh lesson from my generosity, helping people out for free who don't drive.
Never again!!!

So when the - why does - I mean couldn’t someone - when will - nah. I got nothing. 🤷‍♀️

Please change jobs so you are able to give us all a laugh at how she gets on suitable and professional updates.

Do you work in places with buses? How does she get home?

To be fair, our interns are normally super stoked to have been chosen. All the previous ones have been very keen because we really do invest in them, and the qualification is not cheap - so at this stage, particularly, they are getting to see all the opportunities available to them, are being treated like visiting dignitaries up and down the country and getting paid for the privilege!

I don't think we have had an occasion where at this stage someone is already swinging the lead.

I never asked, sorry.

We have some public transport, but you do have to go 'the wrong way' into a major town, then swap to another bus which comes back the way I live (or reversed on the way in to work) - the transit time between the two buses is regularly an hour of waiting, which is why I drive to work when it's not that far.

I'm sure that particular "gap" has been "filled" somehow or other with minimal effort on the part of the CF. 🙄

...he realised after having a few conversations with her that her passivity is a choice on her part. Essentially, she is of the opinion that if you leave a gap, people cannot help themselves but step in to fill it and solve the issue.

While she didn't outright say this, she inferred that it made her awkward enough that people don't give her any responsibility, don't ask anything of her, and don't expect anything from her.

Is this her?!

I think there are two distinct streams of non-drivers:

1. Those who realise that they can't drive themselves - sometimes an active choice not to learn and pay the costs of car ownership, if they live in a big city - and who thus make plans based around walking and the public transport available to them, and maybe the very odd favour (for which they offer fuel money);
2. Those who got used to being driven around everywhere as children and somehow see it that 'adult = able to drive'; and so they just continue to subconsciously act like children and rely on the adults who did bother to learn to drive and deal with all of the costs and effort of driving. Basically, in that one respect, they just never transition into being a grown-up and treat their travelling-in-car needs as anybody else's responsibility but theirs - just like they did when they were 8, and if mum or dad couldn't take them somewhere, they would automatically arrange for an alternative lift.

Woah! It wasn’t sarcasm?! 🤯