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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I finally said something in public at work

131 replies

AlPaccacino · 15/09/2026 22:20

We had a training day at work about making assumptions and the way that we as emergency service workers need to think about how and why we stereotype.
Part of it was looking at celebrities and saying whether we thought they were sad or bad (holding up cards) And lo and behold JKR came up. Of course there was the usual (twattish) bloke (TB). “Oh she’s so bad. She’s a transphobe” I immediately said she’s neither. She’s a bloody queen. And also pointed out that she’d never said anything that could be considered transphobic, but standing up for women.

A surprising amount of other people agreed with me and then gratifyingly, the trainer also said that before including her in the series of photo, he’d read through everything she has said and he agreed that all she has done is to protect women’s spaces.

I was so happy, scared, worried etc but I bloody did it. I’ve only ever spoken in the shadows, as it were, with people that I’d quietly sounded out before. À year ago, I would probably have been looking at the possibility of a discussion with management if not a disciplinary, and now this.
TB made some grumbling about what he’d heard and read and then settled down into a grump. He has form for being a twat generally in discussions but this time he got shut down by the room.

OP posts:
BEAchDays2 · 16/09/2026 08:39

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Ayeee hahaha.

nutmeg7 · 16/09/2026 08:41

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What is going on for you that you are posting snide spite everywhere?

SirChenjins · 16/09/2026 08:44

Well done OP - it takes guts to speak out, and I bet many in the room were feeling exactly the same way you did when the photo of JKR was shown.

The fact that it's riled alcove up enough to post rather than scroll on by shows it's #sadtimes for the misogynists.

nutmeg7 · 16/09/2026 08:45

Heggettypeg · 16/09/2026 02:07

To be fair to this poster, they are not a one-trick pony and have lately diversified into making nasty insinuations about Nick Wallis. See "The Sacrificial Lamb" thread, for example.

Of course, I saw those and didn’t immediately make the connection.

But the tone is frequently spiteful across the board.

TheKeatingFive · 16/09/2026 08:45

Those who believe this didn’t happen, well that would be a terrible outcome, wouldn’t it? Some twat smears JKR with totally false accusations and everyone sits there and lets it happen?

I hope we don't live in a world like this.

Well done to the OP. I believe her.

Mouldemort · 16/09/2026 08:48

Transphobic views and other forms of bigotry are on the rise and voices supportive of trans rights are being shut down, so this does not surprise me.

Igmum · 16/09/2026 08:50

Great job @AlPaccacinoand I’m so pleased that you found yourself in a sea of TERFs. There really are sensible people everywhere.

Please ignore alcove. They spent about 3 seconds saying ‘I’m GC honest’ and now aim for about 10 snide interruptions on every thread. I’ll not sure if they’re American or a vampire but have ordered in some extra garlic just in case.

TheKeatingFive · 16/09/2026 08:51

Mouldemort · 16/09/2026 08:48

Transphobic views and other forms of bigotry are on the rise and voices supportive of trans rights are being shut down, so this does not surprise me.

What bollocks.

Women aren’t going to shut up about their rights to single sex spaces and services. JKR has always been an amazing role model in this regard.

Cry more

Octosmugge · 16/09/2026 08:55

Seriestwo · 16/09/2026 08:22

I had to leave the Ravelry FB page a while ago because of the idiocy.

I’m amazed the site is surviving, what happened to go work go broke?

Same, find that scene utterly appalling

newyearnoeu · 16/09/2026 08:58

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Surely if you're willing to accept OP might have spoken up you're already contradicting your previous sentence that "none of this happened?"

If OP really wanted to portray herself as a "shero" then "and actually quite a lot of people agreed with me" is pretty anticlimactic - I would have been more inclined to consider she was fibbing or at least exaggerating if she'd entered into a spirited debate and happened to have a load of relevant facts at the tip of her fingers, to which TB and the trainers couldn't rebut so ended up revising their opinion and concluding she was right and had personally re-educated them.

Rather than "I spoke up first and then other people shared their own opinions which happened to be the same as mine."

DialSquare · 16/09/2026 09:00

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The great GC hero who you agree with on many things? What with you being “as GC as they come” and all that.

Well done OP. Glad there were quite a few agreeing with you.

TheKeatingFive · 16/09/2026 09:04

Interesting tension in the TRA camp emerging here. They can’t seem to decide on a position.

It’s either ‘no one agrees with GC views, you’re lying’ or ‘more and more people agree with GC views and that is horrific for the poor oppressed trans people’.

Pick a lane

ItsCoolForCats · 16/09/2026 09:08

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Yes, it didn't happen because everyone hates JKR. Nobody is going to watch the new Harry Potter series that is set to run for the next ten years, just like nobody bought Hogwarts Legacy. And nobody will read the new Strike book. And JKR will run out of money 🙃

ItsCoolForCats · 16/09/2026 09:11

Well done OP for articulating what a lot of people think. I was at a training session recently with some colleagues. We got lectured on pronouns (by a woman called Binky) and there was a lot of eyerolling going on. Not everyone has lost their minds.

TheKeatingFive · 16/09/2026 09:13

ItsCoolForCats · 16/09/2026 09:11

Well done OP for articulating what a lot of people think. I was at a training session recently with some colleagues. We got lectured on pronouns (by a woman called Binky) and there was a lot of eyerolling going on. Not everyone has lost their minds.

Binky 😂

Lins77 · 16/09/2026 09:17

ItsCoolForCats · 16/09/2026 09:11

Well done OP for articulating what a lot of people think. I was at a training session recently with some colleagues. We got lectured on pronouns (by a woman called Binky) and there was a lot of eyerolling going on. Not everyone has lost their minds.

Are you sure she was a woman? And not a rabbit identifying as a woman?

AFigureWalks · 16/09/2026 09:18

alcovecupboards · 15/09/2026 22:35

Perfectly normal behaviour.

Here, here.

AimsAndObjectives · 16/09/2026 09:20

AFigureWalks · 16/09/2026 09:18

Here, here.

Glad to hear that you would have clapped and cheered too. Well done!

Rollingpinofdoom · 16/09/2026 09:22

Mouldemort · 16/09/2026 08:48

Transphobic views and other forms of bigotry are on the rise and voices supportive of trans rights are being shut down, so this does not surprise me.

Awww nooo…. Maybe because TRA tried to bully women into giving up their single sex spaces and now more people are realising this and saying no.

RedToothBrush · 16/09/2026 09:23

Break the silence.

There are more people who think it's nonsense and are terrified to say anything than people who are batshit and don't believe in reality and safeguarding.

Most people are sensible centrists. The silent majority.

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 16/09/2026 09:24

Mouldemort · 16/09/2026 08:48

Transphobic views and other forms of bigotry are on the rise and voices supportive of trans rights are being shut down, so this does not surprise me.

There's no such thing as 'trans' so no such thing as 'transphobia'.
Standing up for women's rights isn't bigotry, it's right and proper.

The incessant chatter of the alphabetties isn't being 'shut down' it's being ignored.

Welcome to the future, we're taking it all back, every last thing we had stolen off us is coming home. 🥳

GriseldaandMike · 16/09/2026 09:25

Seriestwo · 16/09/2026 08:22

I had to leave the Ravelry FB page a while ago because of the idiocy.

I’m amazed the site is surviving, what happened to go work go broke?

I joined about a month ago lasted approximately 40 minutes before I thought fuck this and left.

I think Trump is a total shit bag but I shouldn't have to performatively parrot that before asking a question about crochet technique.

PartyHard · 16/09/2026 09:32

Well done, OP. The eejits questioning you have no idea how hard it has been for women to speak in recent years.

I objected to use of the the phrase ‘trans children’ in a large meeting at work a few weeks ago. Only one person of around 60 staff asked me (in a quite indignant way) ‘why?’ and I calmly explained why I thought it was morally wrong to impose adult ‘gender identities’ on to children, and why we should allow them time to grow up and certainly not be socially transitioning them. A lot of head nodding in agreement in the room and no negative comebacks then or since.

Even a year ago I probably wouldn’t have said it, and if I did, I probably would have received complaints to HR etc.

The tide is turning.

DialSquare · 16/09/2026 09:32

Mouldemort · 16/09/2026 08:48

Transphobic views and other forms of bigotry are on the rise and voices supportive of trans rights are being shut down, so this does not surprise me.

For the millionth time, what rights do Trans people not have?

PartyHard · 16/09/2026 09:34

And for my comments, specifically - there is no world in which they are ‘transphobic’ and anyone who seriously thinks they are is ‘safeguarding-phobic’.

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