Reflections on trans presence at a Dykes Who Hike event

[13RidgmontRoad]

For those who don't know DWH, it's an informal mainly Instagram-promoted event and the organisers, two women in their 20s, arrange (relatively accessible) hikes in locations mainly in SE England. Cost to join is £2 a ticket. Yesterday was the first one I've been on, which was 17 miles (Newhaven to Brighton). Around 130 people attended.

There were 5-6 TW on the hike that I could see; two older chaps, one in a dress and heavy makeup, the other looking very much just like a bloke in men's clothing. Four younger ones who looked like the wind might blow them away.

Older blokey one was very annoying - lots of mansplaining on the Whatsapp group, selfies and borderline inappropriate jokes, generally ignored.

Two of the younger ones peeled off about halfway through as they couldn't cope with the rest of the distance. Remaining younger ones were a couple and kept themselves to themselves. They were rather timid and socially awkward, which was a bit of a contrast to 130 hale and hearty lesbians in hiking boots.

I felt like most of the women there just gave the lot of them a wide berth - bit of polite chat then forward or back to join other women.

The (lovely) organisers are quite young and there's absolutely no way either of them would come out and bar TW. I imagine they'd be terrified to take a view. So it seemed very much like weary acceptance. It was rather interesting to observe.

So anyway....about this hike.....

Well quite @GreyskySexRealistsky

Like trans people...

I like a hike myself but 17 (was it?) miles seems like a tough day out to me. Hope there was a decent pub at the end!

Ah yes, just seen 17 in the OP. My knees are groaning

No. Because trans people expect others to validate the appropriated identity, give them access according to the appropriated identity... it really is not the same thing at all. It's way beyond a metaphor to explain themselves to others, they want us to treat it as a material truth in the world.

But I think you know that really. You just can't admit it.

And the middle.... maybe the 3/4 mark would be good just in case I need a swift pikc me up...

Trans widows are not widows.

And trans women are not women.

But only one of those two groups is attempting to be made legally and socially the thing that they are not. And forcing others to treat them as if they are.

But I think you know that really. You just can't admit it.

so Hold on, youre ok with men calling themselves women when they’re not, but you’re not ok with women calling themselves widows when they’re not? Why? Men can never know what it is to be a woman so by youre logic they can never call themselves women. I’m a widow abd I say trans widows are widows .

Yes they are. If men can claim to be women, women who have lost their partner to the genderborg can be widows.

So if you’re saying these widows are not widows…..

Like "golf widows". The husbands are still alive, but they spend their time doing something they like and the women don't. (Or which in evil bygone days, women simply weren't allowed to do.)

Trans people expect access to spaces for the opposite sex.

Trans widows don’t expect access to charities like CRUSE or bereavement support groups for actual widows and widowers. Nor do they expect to claim a widows pension.

They form their own support groups based on their own experience rather than trying to take over something not set up for them.

Which is what transwomen should do.

But they expect to move into female groups and spaces and then decide it is exclusionary to discuss things that only affect the female people for whom the group was set up.

This is very different behaviour.

Most people thought TWAW was a metaphor to go along with out of kindness but we have found since that we are supposed to take it literally by most trans people and their allies. Which is why there is pushback.

Most people thought TWAW was a metaphor to go along with out of kindness but we have found since that we are supposed to take it literally by most trans people and their allies. Which is why there is pushback.

An excellent succinct summary of the fundamental gap between what the #bekinders assume TRAs want and what they actually want.

How helpful of Alcove to force the issue of the difference between giving oneself a label as a metaphor, which while no doubt having the potential to offend does not demand anything from anyone else, and giving oneself a label as a statement of fact, which requires that everyone else also act as if the label is true, even so far as to have to accept a new definition of themselves to allow this to be the case.