Lactation support conference in Ireland - the quiet part out loud

[ArabellaScott]

https://genspect.org/where-does-male-lactation-fit-in-breastfeeding-support-networks/

'This year’s program lists a lactation consultant called Jacob Engelsman speaking on “communicating inclusively: creating gender-affirming clinical spaces for families” and “lactation support for gender-diverse families”.'

'Jacob Engelsman is a Certified Lactation Consultant based in the US. He describes himself as an infant care specialist, speaker, and writer. He is the author of a recently published book, Lactation for the Rest of Us: A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers, and specialises in inducing lactation in non-gestational parents (parents who haven’t given birth). “Lactation is for anyone” Jacob tells us in this podcast interview.
Engelsman’s interest and expertise is not limited to lactation for the purpose of feeding an infant. One of his previous presentations was “Inducing Lactation for Kinksters” and according to his CV he has been giving various talks including on lactation at Frolicon, an adult lifestyle and fetish convention held annually in Atlanta, Georgia with substantial programming around kink, BDSM, sexuality, polyamory, LGBTQ+ relationships and alternative sexual/family cultures.
He is not a nurse, midwife, doctor, or healthcare professional (nor does he claim to be). He is not a parent or someone with personal experience of breastfeeding. He got his certification five years ago and prior to that worked in the food service industry.'
...
'Why would a man want to lactate? In Engelsman’s own words:
“There are several reasons a person may choose to lactate regardless of whether they can gestate a child…a non-gestational parent might choose to induce lactation as a way to feel emotionally closer to the baby, assert their own feelings of parenthood, gender euphoria, or just for the unique experience of it.” (p.49)
Writing specifically about “cis” men, that is men who identify as men, he says:
“As to the question of why they would want to, it seems reasonable to believe that cis men want to lactate for the same reasons as anyone else. Which is to say, usually to feed and bond with their baby and to a lesser extent for curiosity, fun, or sexual gratification.” (p.152)'

Predatory men, I have come to realise, make it their lives' work to chip away at safeguarding, undermine women, sow doubt, distrust, uncertainty.

It's a kind of quest. Based, I suppose, on personality disorder, a need for control and coercion, power.

The idea that they are only operating in a predatory way in terms of definite targets/victims is an error. I wonder if one could even see the abuse as one part of an overarching mindset, if that makes sense.

As an abusive man may have many victims, but that's not the entirety of his abusive project.

Not sure if this quite makes sense, I'm thinking it through.

I agree. It's a way of life. Not necessarily a goal.

Yes, these men don’t consider themselves to be abusive

however they have a disordered mindset and society needs to manage them

The conference is to go ahead online, according to this report. The rest of the story is behind a paywall.

Agree so much with this. Also there is an additional agenda to somehow legitimise paedophilia. Attempting to do so in such a manipulative (belieivng they have superior intelligence) way that anyone questioning is shamed and accused of lacking in intelligence or understanding of such complex relationships. We see you and your bullshit for what you are. It's a shame that the world health organisation and national health services are unwilling to make a stand and categorically state biological males (TW) are unable to support an infants nutritional requirements through artificial lactation. No funding or support should be allocated for this nonsense. Anyone abusing infants to satisfy their fetish and kinks should be investigated and prosecuted.

The body defended its inclusion of the speaker, saying it is "committed to supporting lactation professionals to provide respectful, individualised and evidence-informed care to all families who se breastfeeding and lactation support" and that "OL decision to include education on diversity and gender within our professional programme is grounded in this responsibility.

What fucking evidence informed care, you dangerous muppets??

He's told you, that getting babies to suck on their nipples gives some men orgasms. It's evidence, it's not fucking care is it??

I don't know about anyone else, but holding it online just screams to me 'privacy of my own bedroom'.

Has anyone read the Patrick Melrose stories by Edward St Aubyn? There is a TV version that I haven't seen. They are amazing books, if pretty dark. I keep thinking of the mother character in that. She allows abuse to happen and turns the other way and holds herself up as this pinnacle of charity and acceptance and sacrifice.

Anyway, the predatory men are in our world and they are disturbing but actually I find the facilitators of this a lot more frightening.

Anyway, the predatory men are in our world and they are disturbing but actually I find the facilitators of this a lot more frightening.

Indeed. Without the enablers, they would just be wanking at the wall.

This way, they are opening up all the opportunities they need for abuse.

Helen Joyce was saying that we mitigate abuse through rules. Gaps above and below toilet doors, for instance. Windows in classroom doors. Chaperones.

You'd think that not allowing lactation fetishist promoters a public platform in a breastfeeding conference, would be right up there.

"committed to supporting lactation professionals to provide respectful, individualised and evidence-informed care to all families who seek breastfeeding and lactation support"

So why are they inviting this man?

Could they not find a woman who had breastfed? Somebody who doesn't claim that exclusive breast feeding is a myth? Somebody who doesn't advocate for 'kinksters'?

The thing is there is nothing new about any of this.

Men have always accessed victims by joining a sacred cast, whether that is as pillars of the community or beloved tv personalities or members of the clergy or teachers, and there have always been women to tell you to wash your mouth out with soap and water if you suggest that anything suspect is going on.

Maybe we shouldn't be surprised.

I truly do not understand why there isn't a more widespread disgust reaction at the very idea of men attempting to 'chest' feed babies. It's one of the most gag-inducing and enraging things I've ever come across.

Same. Its evil.

Because society has been groomed. Deliberately and bit by bit. That's how predators work. They find the loopholes and gaps and sacred castes, and build cases around them and extending from them. It's always layered like an onion. Can't cast aspersion on this man, because of x, y, or z. Can't doubt. Can't ask questions in case of a,b, and c.

Always coupled with, if you do doubt/ask questions/cast aspersions, then you are [evil/bigoted/prudish/stupid/backward/old-fashioned/etc], maligned, smeared, ridiculed, etc.

Good people are kind. Good people are supportive, have empathy, are nice. Good girls stay quiet for their own good.

Anything that seeks to shut women up, anything that casts women's questions/voices/ideas/speech in a negative light, springs from this same enterprise, which protects predators, promotes sexism, is rooted in misogyny, is all about seeking ways to coerce, manipulate, and at base, abuse.

It's just very difficult to type out the facts here without certain conclusions looking overwhelmingly likely.

What's the alternative? Man talks about lactation for sexual gratification and also baby care, but keeps a bright line between the two? Man who say women are 'all all lying to each other' and that 'nobody' exclusively breastfeeds, while purporting to be a 'lactation consultant', is really about helping women?

Is it possible he is just a boorish opportunist who really likes babies and also supports lactation kink, but the two are unconnected?

I suppose that is the argument that the ALCI are positing.

Oh, I am not in the slightest surprised. I have known about this for lo, this fifty years. If anyone else was surprised, refer to the wiki page on PIE and look at what various members of the Paedophile Information Exchange went on to do after the organisation was disbanded (there's a list in the final paragraph). And that is the ones we know about; the others may well just be more clever or better-connected, and have managed to slip under the Met radar or float over it.

One at least was very well thought-of and got away with it because the BTB colluded in letting him off: "Peter Henderson", revealed by Private Eye to be Sir Peter Telford Hayman. At one point he was arrested for cottaging and Margaret Thatcher smacked his wrist, called him a naughty boy and told him that if he did it again he'd be un-Knighted, He's in Wikipedia as well, if anyone wants to look.

Obviously I don't agree, but I can believe the they think that the kink element can be compartmentalised.

However, that still leaves them inviting to a breastfeeding conference a man who claims exclusive breastfeeding is not possible.

I remember the days when Gina Ford was persona non grata in some circles, but she never said anything like this!

ALCI are determined to support Englesman in his "approach" aren't they? Instead of dumping the guy who wants to use babies for his nefarious purposes, and holding a normal conference, they have chosen to proceed in a way in which they can still enable him.

Who does that? Who doesn't choose the path of least resistance when you are on shaky ground, and all your instincts are telling you you're heading down the wrong path? Normally, activists who know that everything they do and say is 100% right and everyone else is 100% wrong. Or people who are afraid of someone else or who have been threatened. I wonder if it's any of those things? I would be looking into the people leading the governance of ALCI now, as well.

I wonder if Englesman was afraid to leave the US, perhaps worried he would have difficulty getting into Ireland, or perhaps face serious questioning upon arrival back in the US? If I had published the things he has published, I would be.

Because society has been groomed.

But it's so obviously wrong, in every way, and there's nothing kind about accepting things that are obviously utterly wicked. Yet, apparently intelligent women are supporting these awful men to abuse helpless babies. Do they have no misgivings at all?

Gosh no it wouldn’t upset me, female bodies are amazing, my own mum ( like a previous poster on here) many years ago was asked by her hospital to donate milk to poorly babies because she was able to produce ample supplies . I think for all the challenges I had it was one of the most “female “experiences I’ve had in my life - in both good and bad ways- and it’s hard to consider ( alongside ideas like uterine transplants for TW) that there appears literally no area of womanhood that TW don’t want to muscle in on. Like the trans surgeries that the NHS is funding , if you can’t even provide and adequately fund services for the main groups that need this - whether that is BF support or reconstructive surgeries and after care for those post cancer then why should any funding be granted to those who are not “ biologically eligible” in the first place.

https://alcireland.ie/events/vgXmMqIczz2txISSbvcf

'ALCI's National Conference, October 9th and 10th 2026 - Online
9 October 2026 - 08:00 AM
Virtual Conference - Recordings available to all ticket holders for 4 weeks post event
Conference Update - 9th & 10th October Programme Change
This conference will now be delivered as a fully online event. An updated timetable will follow as soon as possible.

September 1 2026
_
Join us for two inspiring days of learning and professional development. We have an exciting programme featuring national and international speakers.
Speaker announcements and programme updates will continue to be shared on our social media channels.
This is an Online Virtual Conference - recordings will be available to all ticket holders for 4 weeks post-event.'

I wonder if Jacob is still being 'supported' to be a speaker.

https://ibclc-commission.org/ibclc-information/

'The IBCLC Commission, like most certification boards, has a complaint process with respect to alleged violations of the Code of Professional Conduct. Any complaints must be signed and submitted to the IBCLC Commission (see form above). Before submitting a complaint, one should familiarise themselves with the Disciplinary Procedures and ensure compliance with the requirements.'

Drafting a complaint. If anyone else wants to use this to refer to, please feel free:

Certificant: Jacob Engelsman, IBCLC, Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Nature of complaint: Public statements concerning breastfeeding, professional accuracy, safeguarding and public trust

I wish to raise concerns regarding public statements made by Jacob Engelsman while publicly identifying and presenting himself as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.

My complaint concerns the following material:

1. Sexual gratification presented as a reason for male lactation

In Lactation for the Rest of Us: A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers, Mr Engelsman writes:

“As to the question of why they would want to, it seems reasonable to believe that cis men want to lactate for the same reasons as anyone else. Which is to say, usually to feed and bond with their baby and to a lesser extent for curiosity, fun, or sexual gratification.”

This appears on page 152.

Mr Engelsman has also reportedly delivered a presentation entitled “Inducing Lactation for Kinksters” at Frolicon, an adult fetish convention.

I am concerned by the treatment of sexual gratification as a possible motivation within professional material dealing with lactation and infant feeding, without an explicit and unequivocal distinction between consensual adult lactation and any activity involving an infant. Where babies and vulnerable postpartum families are concerned, professional boundaries and safeguarding must be unambiguous. I ask the Commission to consider whether this material is compatible with the standards of professional conduct, judgement and public trust expected of an IBCLC.

2. False and disparaging statements about mothers who exclusively breastfeed

In a publicly available recorded interview, Mr Engelsman discussed a mother saying that her friends’ babies were exclusively breastfed. He responded:
“No, they’re lying to you. They don’t want to lose face because there’s shame surrounding it. You are all just lying to each other. And if one of you would own up and say at some point my baby had some formula and it wasn’t the end of the world, you would all be better off for it.”

The assertion that mothers who report exclusively breastfeeding are lying is plainly unsustainable. Many babies are exclusively breastfed, and exclusive breastfeeding is a recognised infant-feeding category used by public-health and clinical bodies internationally.

The statement does not merely acknowledge that some parents may use formula while feeling unable to disclose it. It dismisses mothers’ accounts as dishonest and presents an unsupported generalisation as fact. Such comments may undermine women’s confidence in seeking lactation support and damage trust between breastfeeding mothers and IBCLCs.

Further, WHO and UNICEF recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. Frequent, unrestricted breastfeeding establishes and maintains milk supply; replacing breastfeeds with formula reduces milk removal and can undermine supply. Engelsman’s claim is therefore not only insulting to mothers but contrary to basic lactation physiology and international breastfeeding guidance.

I ask the Commission to consider whether these statements breach the following provisions of the Code of Professional Conduct:

• Principle 1, including the obligation to provide services protecting, promoting and supporting breastfeeding and to provide evidence-informed care.
• Principle 2, concerning professional diligence, accountability and practice within the IBCLC scope.
• Principle 6.1, requiring an IBCLC to behave honestly and fairly as a health professional.
• Principle 7.2, requiring IBCLCs to provide accurate information to the public and colleagues concerning lactation-consultant services.
• Any applicable requirements concerning professional boundaries, public communications and maintaining public confidence in the IBCLC credential.

I am requesting an ethics review of specific professional statements concerning infant feeding, sexual motivation, the truthfulness of breastfeeding mothers, and the safeguarding standards expected of an IBCLC.

Please confirm whether this complaint satisfies the Commission’s threshold for investigation and whether further material is required.

Excellent @ArabellaScott . Thank you xx

Just adding this link as it shows this is now being reported outside of media in Ireland.

Debate over gender-inclusive policies and child safeguarding intensifies in Ireland
https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/controversy-irish-lactation-conference-speaker-1817330

They want the money generated by the attendees. Everyone of whom should demand their money back. To attend this is to support child abuse, sexual exploitation of children, a man who says all breastfeeding women lie about exclusively breastfeeding. That organisation is a disgrace.