The Bluestocking Arms Women's Pub, where women make friends with Beetles, Androids, Cakes, Dragons, Hedgehogs and other women, where wit and wisdom flourish

[inkymoose]

Here at the Bluestocking there's a place for all women. A break from Reality, and many laughs and stories to share. Have your fill of Tunnocks bars and tea cakes, sing feminist anthems, drink as much beer or gin or hot chocolate as you desire. It won't make you fatter or drunken but oh, it's fun. Sit in the garden with our Lion resident or the Quokkas and Capybara. Express your opinions loudly in Pedantry Corner. Ask for whatever you fancy to be served by our obliging Gerbil staff. Come in, all women, welcome!

A bit much for poor Bing

🙄😬

It found Inky's hyenas challenging as well

Tried an image in the classroom with copilot. After a few goes it provided something passable.

You know, bearing teeth does look kind of threatening. I don't teach the kind of science lessons which actually include teeth, so it would definitely be unexpected.

btw, the correct collective nouns for hyenas is not 'horde' but pack, clan or cackle

A cackle of hyenas!

Brilliant.

You can’t bare your teeth if your jaws don’t bear any.
but ‘teeth bearing’ sounds more like gears or suchlike … bearings can bear teeth.

I was imagining the tooth fairy, personally.

I was thinking some obscure 'ancient' English calendar custom (probably dreamed up by a 17th century antiquarian squire) - somewhere between rush-bearing and the Abbots Bromley horn dance.

Gears? Engines. Tanks. Cranes. The game of Mousetrap. You might say, "Oooh, you subversive little mis-speller! Stop grinding my gears!" or, "you are beyond the pale, you and your cackling clan!"

"Pail, Miss? Like, bucket?" (cue sniggers from the hyenas)

Would that defuse the situation?

I was all set to admire and applaud the Abbots Bromley horn Dance until I realise that all the dancers are men! What a shame.

I heard a rumour (very secret, I swore I wouldn't tell anyone) that the Bluestocking gerbils are going to be permitted to bear the mysterious ancient teeth (that are usually kept in a strongbox) in this year's performance of the formal 'diffusion dance' held annually on the Tuesday after Easter Sunday. If you strain your ears you might hear the music being played for the rehearsal -

Jingle jangle rumble clunk
Tinkle tonkle ribbledy bump

That Jazzer McCreary needn't think he's cornered the market in culturally significant terpsichorean happenings.

Brings blessings on the crops and fertility to the fields. Or so I'm told.

Oh, is that what I can hear? I look forward to the formal performance tomorrow!

Are cogs the same as gears because they do bear teeth?

...

Now I'm visualising a cog with bear teeth.

...

Or a bear with cog teeth 😬

Looking forward to Tuesday.

Another thought on defuse vs diffuse - I hope the written orders are correct and they don't send a bomb disposal specialist in to diffuse that bomb!😱

I don’t think we want to involve the gerbils in fertility rituals, as I mentioned they’re already good at multiplying, even after the ‘safe sex’ confusion was cleared up.

Very very good point Errol. I think that while they are actually dancing (including practice) they are probably going to be preoccupied with that, but they'll need distraction afterwards. And their pills.

🎼🎧frisky frisky rumpy pumpy gerbil diddley humpy 🐀

Yes, pills. Lots of pills.

At the risk of appearing self-absorbed I wish to ask if all this gerbil exercise will have a detrimental effect on their primary role of serving in The Bluestocking?

Not long-term, they schedule rehearsals in such a way that there is always a team on duty, but they consider it a polite attention if the guests turn out to watch the actual performance (in the stableyard if weather permits, in the performance space in the stable block if weather doesn't). As with the musical, the cabaret, the pantomime, the masque, and the St Patrick's day parade. Or come to that, the Quokkas' Waiting for Godot, that even the live theatre sceptics enjoyed so much.

or so they said at the time

I love old traditions and all that, like the mysterious Bacchu Ber sword dance in the French Alps, and was all set to admire and applaud the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance, but.... I think it's walking around a bit identifying as dancing!

I don't mind that it's all men, which is the same with the Bacchu Ber - it keeps them occupied and off the streets

OK, I’m reassured. I’ll be ready to support any thoroughly-rehearsed gerbil performance, and will applaud enthusiastically at appropriate times.

This would apply to any performance by the beings who look after us, as long as it’s not more than a 5 minute walk from the current Bluestocking premises, wherever they are at the time.

They spike our drinks with hallucinogenics half an hour before the show starts in order to ensure that we absolutely love it!

I mean that's the only explanation from how they go from off tune, very disorganised, constantly missing their cues to pitch perfect, all in the right place at the right time, totally synchronised divas between final rehearsal and curtains up.

🤣

I found a photo of the Quokkas rehearsing Waiting for Godot. I'm hoping they will do a reprise!