A Mumsnet thread about a book about a Mumsnet thread “Under the Duvet of Darkness” written by the women of Mumsnet THREAD 2

[Boiledbeetle]

Thread 1:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4776556-a-mumsnet-thread-about-a-book-about-a-mumsnet-thread-under-the-duvet-of-darkness-written-by-the-women-of-mumsnet?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

You do not need to have read thread 1 – this is not that sort of thread.

But to recap… Over Christmas and New Year after the passing of the GRR (Scotland) Bill a thread was started with a poem about Nicola Sturgeon. Eventually on that thread (and a couple of other threads) over 80 poems were written.

“Under the Duvet of Darkness: Poems written by angry women for angry women because WOMEN WON’T WHEESHT” was published as a paperback on 31st March 2023.

Available on Amazon only: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C129WKDD

In a rather bizarre turn of events at one point it reached No 2 in poetry best sellers and No 5 in Feminist Criticism best sellers. No one will be surprised to discover that a book that is in the main about people, especially men, claiming to be something they are not was kept off the No1 spot in poetry best sellers by a crime novel, identifying as poetry, written by a man ;-)

E-BOOK:

Some people wanted an e-book rather than a paperback, but for that we needed someone who could actually make an e-book and some extra poems.

FairyKindleMother came to the rescue with regards the e-book and posters wrote enough poems that we could add 20 more poems into the e-book.

I pressed publish on the e-book a few hours ago. It can take usually up to 3 days to appear and populate all the info etc on the various sites, and there is always the chance they knock it back for some reason. But I've done all I can do at this point. We just have to wait and see who spots it on sale first! It will appear on the Amazon link above hopefully soon, (or I'll get an email asking me to change something).

MONEY FROM SALES OF ALL FORMATS:

In honour of Magdalen Berns, who co-founded the Scottish campaign group For Women Scotland, 100% of the profit from the sale of this book will be donated to For Women Scotland.

“It’s not hate to defend your rights, and it’s not hate to speak the truth.”
Magdalen Berns (1983 – 2019)

As I started work on the e-book posters continued to write poems. So we had a choice: leave them there, languishing on the thread, unloved, forgotten, never to have their words uttered again OR we could just do volume 2.

Posters voted for Volume 2 but we still need more poems!

And that’s the gist of thread 1.

Your mask slipped there, er, Nic - according to my notifications!

Maybe it's Larkins poems softening her around the edges!

Do It Yourself

Oh God You’ve gone and done it Wickes.
You've only gone and pissed off the chicks.
And no, I don’t mean the ones with the dicks.

You’ve nailed your colours to the mast.
I’m sure you thought it all a blast.
Whilst those who watched, watched aghast.

When the COO threw out a line,
I’m sure he thought it would go down just fine,
With those whose thoughts do not align.

He made a crack about a boycott.
Thought his words mattered? Not a jot.
Instead, he just seems quite the clot.

Your customers aren’t the one you think.
Your thoughts and customers are out of sync.
It’s not the TRA’s that will cause a stink.

So, if our custom is not welcome
We’ll go elsewhere. And take our mum!
We’ll not let you think of us as docile and dumb.

We’ll not stay and remain complicit.
Being meek is not our remit.
We’ve had enough of all this shit.

So, take you bricks, and mortar too.
We'll go elsewhere for a brand-new loo
You’ve lost the custom of this pissed off shrew!

We've had a slow two days but so far we have sold 78 books this month!

And now I'm going back to being horizontal.

Anyone got a cure for lymph nodes the size of plums in my neck. I've had a day of intense blghhhhhhhhhh!.

Shoot me! Shoot me now!

I feel so illlllllll!

Oh no - is it viral? Have you been to the doctor?

God knows. I've finally stopped with the sweating and shivering and they look less prominent today. But i do feel like someone has filled my arms, legs and neck with concrete.

In other news there was a late purchase last night taking us to 79 books this month.

And we are sitting at around 40 poems collected for volume 2

More poems people we need more poems.

I was going to get a shower but I think I'm going back to bed.

So illlllllll. Woe is me!

CALL NHS 25

Hope you're feeling better soon, beetle. Take care.

Yes, get well soon.

Loved Alf…

get well soon hen 🌻

Blech. Sounds horrible Beetle - hope you feel better soon

Thank you! I have arisen from the bed of blghh. Although I will admit I am currently wearing the dressing gown of doom.

And God do I need a shower even the cat is going cross eyed when he gets too close.

I still feel like shit but more normal levels of shit. So that's a plus!

And having not long got up I think it might now be time to go back to bed!

Sighs heavily and shuffles off back to bed. (I can't help it, it's the dressing gown of doom, it just makes me come over all manly and pathetic when ill.)

WINNER TAKES ALL

Woman is not a hobby,
it’s not a feeling, nor a game.
Woman is not the way
you find your fortune or your fame.

Woman is a state of being,
not something that we choose.
Woman is what we are born as,
and a word we’ll never lose.

Sick and tired

I’m sick of the slurs,
the lies and the threats.
I’m sick of the insistence
we owe them a debt.
I’m sick of the silencing,
and all of the sackings,
just because some men
feel something is lacking.

from a different thread:

Waitwhat23

I want to put forward a thanks to all our frequent flyers .... for their ongoing work towards peaking women. You are being told that you are directly peaking women and still you continue. I'm wondering whether we should start referring to you as peakers, in a similar way that people refer to allies etc.

Thank you, peakers! Carry on with the good work

@Waitwhat23

there's no way i'm posting this on the original thread it will get zapped.

PEAKERS

They peak them here, they peak them there
Those TRA’s peak them everywhere
Are they from heaven, or are they from hell
Those damned persistent infidels

based on Baroness Emmuska Orczy, The Scarlet Pimpernel

“They seek him here, they seek him there
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That damned elusive Pimpernel”

'For the lurkers'
A phrase given so much meaning
Due to the evidenced adept reasoning,
Of the posters of FWR.

@Waitwhat23 😁and thank you for the peak inspiration!

^t.co/VJgCOfwSYd^

The Telegraph 19 June 2023 • 8:32pm
‘They meow rather than answer a question’: The school children now identifying as animals

An extraordinary report from a Sussex school has shed light on the growing trend of pupils insisting on being addressed as animals

HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY

Kids at schools these days
No longer do as teacher says
One girl claims to be a cat
Meows her answers, how mad is that?
Another child identifies as a dinosaur.
Probably answers with a mighty roar!
Another one thinks he is a horse.
I'm sure he probably neighs of course.
Finally, there is one kid who thinks he is the moon!!!!!
The end of all this madness surely must come soon.

One of the most amazing poems there is performed by the woman herself.

For Women Scotland turn 5 today

WHAT WOULD MAGDALEN SAY?

As the amazing For Women Scotland turn five years old today
I imagine what the equally amazing Magdalen would say.
She’d say that she was proud of what you have achieved,
that you have stood steadfast in what you do believe.
She’d probably be tweeting and pissing people off,
she’d be setting out the facts to those who mock and scoff.

But though she’s no longer with us I don’t need to try and guess
what words she’d say to those men who attempt to transgress
the boundaries set by women, those of the actual female sex,
when they say they are attracted to only those who are born XX.
So, I’ll leave the final line to her as testament to her genius:
“THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LESBIAN WITH A PENIS”

Cool as Cats:

The trannies send signals from the rocks above the pass
The women take position in the bushes and the grass
The squaw is in the prison, she is tied up in the cell, having a wee,
She doesn't mind the language, it's the beating she don't need
He lets loose all the horses when his cell mate is asleep
he wakes to find the his cell mate is dead with arrows in her heart,
And Davy Crockett rides around and says it's cool for cats
It's cool for cats (cool for cats)

The Sweeney's doing ninety 'cause they've got the word to go
They get a gang of women, with stickers up at Heathrow
They're counting out the stats when the handcuffs lock again
In and out of Wandsworth with the numbers on their names
It's funny how this business always look so bleeding same
And meanwhile at the station there's a couple of likely cads
Who swear like, “ Your father’s your mother”and they're very cool for cats
They're cool for cats (cool for cats)

To change the mood a little he has been posing down the pub
On seeing his reflection, he’s looking slightly rough,
“I fancy this, I fancy that, I wanna be so flash
I give a little muscle and I spend a little cash
and I win the race and I know I’m mighty brash
but i don’t give a shit because I get what I want
And everybody tells me that it's cool to be a cat”
Cool for cats (cool for cats)

Shape up at the disco and I think I've got a pull
I ask her lots of questions and she hangs on to the wall
I kiss her for the first time and then I take her home
I'm invited in for coffee and I give the dog a bone
She likes women but but i don’t give a shit,
I said you are a lesbian and give her some old chat
But it's not like that on the TV when it's cool for cats
It's cool for cats (cool for cats)

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 As a massive Squeeze fan, (seen them in concert many times). I approve this reworking!

I've just played the track and sang along using the new words!

Love 💘💘💘 it!

FLY BIRDIE FLY

I raised an eyebrow when I heard
A man can turn into a bird.

I wonder what it’s like to fly
And soar the skies up there way high.

Does it live up to all the hype?
Oh! Never mind! He meant the cunty type.

Excellent!

This one made me laugh! Partly because it took me a second to get it (not very awake) so I was laughing at myself as much as at the poem! Love it!

@Piccalillipromises 😁 it was a bonus finding it, I was sorting out some scraps of paper that were from when I was writing stuff on the original December 22 thread and the end rhymes were all on a piece of paper. Don't know if what i ended up with was what I had originally had in mind but glad it gave you a chuckle!

And those lurking surely you must have written a poem by now! We've still need a lot more before a book can be made from them!