My first time on the pointy end of the trans debate. It's shit

[AnneBoleynsSixthFinger]

I have followed many threads on this board but never contributed.

In general, I don't express my views on trans issues, mainly due to cowardice.

Today, on a classical literature group on FB, a poster shared a message about JFK. Admiring and quite innocuous. Another poster complained that publicity should not be given to an open transphobe. Against my better judgement, I bit. I asked what specific transphobic things JKR had said.

Cue a barrage of insults. I was called a transphobe, a bigot, etc. An especially vitriolic poster (himself a young white 'cis' man) said that nobody wanted the opinion of a white cis woman. When I retorted that this was hardly an original stance of a man towards a woman with an opinion, he went batshit.

Point of this rant: I was terrified. I am still upset at the level of hatred and irrationality. I totally understand why people are so wary of speaking openly on this subject. It was a valuable and horrible lesson.

I have asked for this post t to be moved to the sex and gender board. Sorry!

Anne I am so sorry.

Check that your Facebook is locked down, delete any references to your home area, etc. You might want to examine the info that the group members can see about other members?

Thank you, Flibberty Giblets.The thread has been removed but I think I will leave the group. I feel so sorry for people who are regularly subjected to such treatment.

It is shit, Isn't it? I'm really sorry you've had to experience this.

The good news is that by the 100th time you are called a transphobe and a bigot, you care a lot less. It's like being called a poopy-head by a toddler who is cross you won't give them the whole biscuit packet. Sometimes it does really hurt, eg when a former friend turns on you, and sometimes it's overwhelming, but a lot of the time it now rolls off my back.

Their abusive tactics work at silencing women.
On twitter too it is mostly angry men spewing their shite. They never give a proper answer because they can't.

Don't leave the group. Maybe just have a break from posting/responding for a short while. These angry shouty men want women to back down and leave, rather than politely and calmly stand their ground.

Men who despise women hate them saying no. Gender ideology has given those men a platform to state their anti women views quite openly.

It's utterly horrible but you'll undoubtedly find there are many of the group who agree with you but have been frightened into silence by this type of behaviour. You have been used by this man as a warning to others to keep silent.

I agree with a pp about not leaving the group. Step back and make sure that you are not identifiable.

UltraVividLament: There were women on the attack too. One said 'another day, another transphobe to deal with.'

Another woman was arguing that if her trans friends believed JKR transphobic, then, by definition, she must be.

It's somehow more disappointing when it's women who are happy to attack like this. Don't let them bully you out of the group, if at all possible.

Sigh, this topic is so bloody overblown it's not even funny. What pisses me off is cis males wading into a debate where they have NO skin in the game whatsoever, stay in your lane boys this topic doesn't affect you at all!

OP you are entitled to your opinion as long as it is expressed respectfully, which it sounds like it was. Ignore all the woke frothers who love to get stirred up by this and get off slapping down women publicly.

Same shit, different century, good to see some things stay the same

Even though the thread has been deleted, it's probably still a good idea to make sure identifying info is locked down. It's possible screenshots of the discussion were taken.

It's awful when it first happens - it feels confusing too, even though you know you're not wrong. The strength of attack itself can be bewildering.

Please do not refer to men as 'cis males'.
It's insulting to men.

Same shit, different century

I love this, though obviously I hate it too.

They couldn't answer your question. Insults are all they have.

@JenniferWildlay
I was being ironic, hence the inverted commas. Maybe you were being ironic too.

Ah the old "whatever the transperson thinks must be everyone's truth' argument. A transperson thinks JKR is transphobic, therefore she is. Trans people are never wrong, apparrently.
I hope you're ok OP. You're right, it is shit.

@aweegc: Yes, it feels so confusing to be called bigoted when I have always considered myself the opposite.

@DoubleYouOhEmAyEn: It's a crap argument but a difficult one to dismantle on the spur of the moment, you know? Especially when as a woman, you are used to second-guessing yourself and being fucking #kind.

OP you might want to look up the Facebook group “Harry Potter fans who love JK Rowling” it’s a breath of fresh air.

Sorry this happened to you. Mob justice and verbal ‘stonings to oblivion’ of anyone who contradicts the mob’s madness are, perhaps, the inevitable result of the internet.

Free speech is dead and the level of hate directed to women who stand up for their right to think for themselves, is very strange and sad.

It's the topic where the bullies get free reign and not only get to pretend they are the good guys but get validated for their bullying.

Anne, my heart goes out to you. Been there. May I suggest you join a GC group on FB? There are loads and I have found it helpful to be in touch with likeminded folk, otherwise the world can seem a dark place in these crazy times. Among my favourites are
www.facebook.com/groups/107408936606275
www.facebook.com/Gender-Critical-Humans-583863275632065

@JenniferWildlay

Please do not refer to men as 'cis males'. It's insulting to men.

The man in question sounds like he deserves to be insulted. In any case, he probably self-describes as such.

@AnneBoleynsSixthFinger I’m so sorry.

It’s awful, isn’t it? And the utter entitled blindness of the young man not seeing the deep irony of his comment.

I’m increasingly depressed about the future. I think there’s a whole generation of young people who misguidedly think that they are being progressive when they attack women like you’ve been attacked.

For most of them, I don’t think it’s deliberately vicious, or thought-through. But they are the tools of MRA s - regressive male rights activists and sexist men who are jubilant at the thought they now have a “legitimate “ reason to tell women to shut the fuck up.

It’s awful and it’s going to take hundreds and thousands of women like you, speaking up and speaking truth and common sense, to challenge this awful ideology.

OP you're not alone, you were unfortunately caught up in one of those echo chambers that are so popular right now.

There are many many more people that think just as you do but are intimidated into silence atm.

Let's not be silent .

You were that most dangerous of beings - a Woman with an Opinion.