Dhal - I think many of us know transwomen like that, and have done for years, and have never had a problem with them. What's caused a lot of us to stop and go "hang on a minute" is the discovery that old fashioned transsexuals (many transwomen of the sort you describe are now "reclaiming" that word) are in the minority, and the people making the noise are the trans-identifying "like my penis very much, thank you, but you must call it a lady-dick" variety.
If you read the Jess Bradley threads you'll get a sense of what this new group are like - they're the ones trolling lesbians by insisting that if they don't have sex with "lady-dicks" they're transphobic. Or issuing charming tweets on International women's day inviting gender critical feminists to "suck their dick."