I have hit rock bottom

[AgualusasL0ver]

• I'm 45.
• I am 17 stone/roughly 100kg.
• I am 5ft 2.
• I have badly frozen shoulders (previously had steriod injections which were wonderful but now back.
• Due to said shoulder issue I have cut two dresses off me when it was impossible to get my arms up to get them off.
• I have arthritis in my ankles, caused by an underlying condition from childhood, but obviously made worse by my weight.
• My ankles are almost permanently swollen no matter what I do.
• I eat emotionally - happy eat, not happy eat.
• I cannot put socks on without lifting my feet onto a chair.
• I am glad it is summer as tights are an absolute nightmare.
• I cannot wear sandals and buckle them because it hurts to twist my - feet/legs to get the right angle.
• I cannot sit on the floor/grass because I cannot get up.
• I only have a bath and as of last week I have been washing standing up with a jug because I usually turn on my front and push myself up by my elbows (because I cannot just get up from sitting) and my shoulders were so painful I couldn't push myself up.
• On the weekend an old lady asked me how I was handling the weather and then proceeded to ask me about my big day etc, yes she thought I was pregnant - and I just ran with it.
• I have intolerable sleep apnoea, diagnosed but not treated as I changed job and now need to go to NHS to get it treated and I just haven't prioritised it.

I know what I am doing wrong: I snack and my portions are large. I am almost totally inactive.

I have a leisure centre on my road with a pool, I like swimming, I am slow and get very out of breath. I don't care about being a bigger swimmer in a costume, I almost feel more comfortable than when dressed. I have a lido 7 mins walk away which has a drop in morning session.

I have a vast open space I could walk in with hills (but not hiking) that I could walk. I get very out of breath but when I did this during Covid I got better at it, so I know I can do it - I lost weight doing this every single day and people noticed.

I had a Les Mills sub and I loved it. But that is tricky as we have a smallish flat and there is ALWAYS someone at home.

I lost 3 stone after the birth of my second DC - 18 years ago with WW.

I spent my 20s a rough size 8, between 8-9 stone.

I have 3 DCs - 20, 18 and 15, so that shouldn't stop me.
I have a fussy DH, but he would happily start eating more grills and things I think.
I have elderly parents with needs, but I even take two buses to their place when it is a 20 min (maybe 30 min for me) walk.

I have a busy job and don't get home until about 7.30-8pm and am tired.

I KNOW, cutting snacks, less and better carbs (not no carbs), moving more intentionally would help my sleep, my arthritis, my general Peri-Menopausalness, and just be better but even when I am better it makes no real difference. Honest me would say I have no tried very hard, but I do try to load up veggies at work rather than the carbs etc. I know I need to do so much more.

I really don't want to do mounjaro or similar, I want to change the way I behave and live.

Honestly? Mounjaro. It’s not a failing it’s doing what you need to do

What I would say is that Mounjaro does change the way you eat and live. It's a medication for a health condition. We are taught to think of our weight as entirely within our control and any failure to keep it under control as a moral issue rather than a health issue. But obesity is a disease, it is metabolic and it is pretty much irreversible without medication.

Mounjaro has changed my life and my habits and I now lift weights, swim, walk and do Pilates. I lead a busy and active life and enjoy a variety of healthy food. This is because the medication works not just as an appetite suppression but with your blood sugar and hormones as well.

I am in my mid-forties and have battled my weight since being a pre teen. I have done every imaginable diet and exercise plan in the intervening thirty years. I know what works and what doesn't. Mounjaro works and it is utterly transformative. I've been on it over two years and am down from a BMI of 42 to 27. I intend to be on it for life.

Mounjaro. It will also help with inflammation. You still need to eat healthily, build healthy eating habits and exercise on Mounjaro. It will make losing weight so much easier for you. It’s a tool which, given your circumstances, I think will really help you.

I was 22st two years ago, and I'm now 10st 11lbs. That's thanks to Mounjaro. It will treat the sleep apnoea, the arthritis and address your other weight related issues. Your situation is exactly what this medication has been shown to work for - your BMI is about 44 which is obese class three, or morbidly obese, Mounjaro (or Wegovy) is a treatment that is proven to be successful for people with the health issues you list.

For me, taking Mounjaro has enabled me to change the way I behave and live. The contrast in my lifestyle is massive, in terms of activity, exercise, diet, all the things I wanted to change before but found too hard to actually achieve. I also knew exactly what I needed to do, but somehow knowing it didn't mean I could actually manage to do it, consistently enough to lose the huge amount of weight I needed to lose.

Wow - all the replies so far say Mounjaro. There is another way. (I saying this as someone currently taking Mounjaro)

Sounds like you are currently feeling really motivated. You could go back to Weight Watchers or try Slimming World for some support. Commit to low carbing or calorie counting. I recommend the book: Why We Eat (Too Much) for suggestions for long term changes to diet.

Exercise is great but diet is the most important for weight loss.

It is really hard to lose weight and keep it off however you do it but worth committing to something.

Good luck

You can approach your gp for weight loss support. In my area, it's a referral to a dietician with psychological support via a life style coach. There is also exercise support if you are interested.

@AgualusasL0ver

I sound like you except I am /was 2 inches shorter and 9 pounds heavier .
And if a bit tmi was even having trouble wiping my bum on the toilet .
I hated the thought of summer as I'd get sores under my belly and my ankles swelled up in the heat .
I hid away , and wore just a few items of clothes all year long . I stopped socialising and when we went out for a coffee , started to struggle into chairs with arms as they were so uncomfortable . I had sleep apnea & high bp , and a heap of other problems
I think my bmi was over 47 .

I've tried to ask for weight loss injections on,the NHS but was told I didn't qualify .
Then they changed the criteria and I was told I ' might ' qualify but the hospital appointment I would have to have is a 12-24 month wait .

I asked my Dr if they would agree to my self funding and they said yes so I starting Wegovy ( not as fast as Monjarno but has been shown to protect heart health and protect from heart attacks & stroke ) so I went on that .

In 7.5 months I've lost nearly 4 stone , am a size 16 in some things and feel much healthier and happier and walk 8,000 + steps a day .

Don't discount WLI , you still have to diet and move more to get a result but the no food noise really helps and it changes your outlook on food & cravings and emotional eating .
Obviously I have still got someway to go but I've got the confidence I'll get to where I want to be then my plan it so carry on a low dose for hopefully a long time to maintain .

Maybe small changes, small food portions, healthy snacks, chair exercises, walk instead of buses, on days off, walks on the hills you mentioned. Changing your diet and eating smaller portions would be where I would start then add in more movement. The weight won't budge until you make those changes

I’d also say don’t discount mounjaro.
I was the same as you throughout my 20s, 30s and 40s, wanted it do it myself, the “proper” way, but nearing 50 realised that whatever I did I ended up putting more back on, nothing got rid of inflammation and I felt like I was slowly dying.

4 days on MJ all my inflammation had gone, the pains I’d had for years had gone and I was able to walk comfortably (way before any significant weight loss). It’s far more than an appetite suppressant, it also treats underlying causes that many morbidly obese people have.
1 year on I’ve lost 7.5 stone, I can exercise easily and feel healthier than I have in 30 years.

There’s the whole schtick about cheating, but honestly that comes from a place of ignorance and jealousy.

Thanks for all the responses, and I am not at all against the more medicated route, just that I have lost weight before and kept it off for a number of years so I know I can do it and I would prefer that. But, I do hear what everyone is saying about the additional benefits regarding inflammation etc and I will look into it properly.

@TabithaTeacake Thank you for being so open about your experience, I do in fact have the same, especially later in the day as the shoulders make things very hard. The underneath of my overhang is frankly disgusting, very red, quite raw and sometimes weepy and aften sweaty. No one really ever talks about these things.

I will do some proper reading around this week and try to be more mindful of what I am actually eating and drinking e.g. I just went to meet someone for a coffee, so ordered a cappucino and put two sugars in it, I didn''t even really fancy coffee (I already had one this morning which is sufficient) and could have had a mint tea or similar, but I didn't.

I mean this gently if you think you can do it yourself why haven’t you? Why aren’t you doing it right now, instead of posting on mumsnet saying you want to change, but haven’t, and surely the successful definition of weight loss is not getting it off, it’s keeping it off.

weight loss meds don’t melt the fat off, they simply enable you to stick to a calorie deficit. You still need to diet and work out. Sure you can be an arsehole about it and just eat small portions of crap and not change your habits, but most don’t do that.

i think id consider why you’re talking about it, saying you know you can do it. Slamming meds, but still doing nothing,

use Mounjaro as a tool to help you create new habits and lifestyle. It’s what I did at 54 years old the same height as you and 19 stones. I’m now 12 stones and it’s been life changing. It’s given me breathing space to forgive myself, join a gym, and create a whole new way of eating. Honestly it’s a brilliant medication if used correctly and sensibly

Once we get to a certain point of obesity, it’s almost impossible to lose and keep it off without surgery or medication. So please don’t discount it. I’ve lost 5 1/2 stone on the jabs in less than a year and it’s changed my mindset, my habits, my whole attitude to food. I know it’s changed me because I had to come off the jabs for a medical procedure and while I was off them I continued my good habits and continued losing weight.

It’s not the only way, but as someone with a similar starting weight to you who tried and failed a million times in the past decade, it’s been life changing.

Id suggest a weight loss coach. I have lost 13kg with one and no injections. It’s basically calorie controlled eating, walking (or swimming) and help to change your mindset.
Don’t want to advertise but happy to share who I used over PM.

You need to start somewhere.
2 years ago I was size 18-20 and 16 stone 5ft 2 as well.

I did 2 1/2 stone following the Michael Mosely 800Fast, then I did the next 2 stone on MJ. So today I am 11st 10 size 12/14.

MJ is amazing, it is also anti-inflammatory. If you can afford it do it!
I am still on 5mg and I wont go up, I use it as a tool to just take the edge off.
I am also an emotional eater. I just try and snack on fruit.

I started the parkrun but I walk, and then a weight training from YouTube 20 mins all body workout 3/4 times a week. I have since added weekly Pilates and try to do Tai Chi walking as well.
Though I will admit to falling off the wagon last week and did no exercise, have started again today.

You can do it, but somethings needs to click in your mind.
Mine was my nice clothes didn't fit me and I was going on holiday. I had a month to lost a stone. The Michael Mosley 800Fast worked for me. I wasn't hungry at all. Get a recipe book. Slimming World is also good, my friend has lost 3 stone in 8 months after a health scare.

Today is the day you make the change!

I don't think I am slamming meds, in fact I said I would look into it seriously and not discount it. I did say that I would prefer to do it without, which is just a preference.

But, I do agree with you - I do need to ask myself why I am not doing it and what am I actually waiting for.

I think Mounjaro would be good to get you started, but you do have to change your habits and mindset to keep it off once lost - if you carry on with little exercise, and a bad diet it’ll just go back on and you’ll feel even worse.
Snacking and large portions aren’t necessarily bad, but it does depend on the food you’re snacking on.
However, it does sound to me as though there might be some depression going on here - have you explored that with your GP?
You tell us you were smaller throughout your 20s - what changed? Is there something perhaps counselling might help with? The medical problems could be a bit of a chicken and egg situation. They’re aggravated because of your size, you feel bad about that and so perhaps comfort eat to feel better - and the circle continues.

I think time restricted eating and low carbing is the best for losing weight. It is so much more effective with MJ in the mix. I had absolutely no faith it would work as I was feeling very similar to how you describe but it has been life changing for me.

Stop procrastinating and start living!!!

I started MJ a year ago at 60yrs and it was the best decision of my life.

I recognise a lot of your weight related issues as I had them too but I don’t anymore. I’m fitter and healthier than I’ve been in over 30 yrs.

I used to live in leggings and baggy t-shirts and hide behind others when people took photos, but now I’m wearing swishy summer dresses and make up and friends say I look years younger.

I’m also very happy to tell anyone who wants to know that I’ve done this with the help of WLI. I’m not ashamed at all but proud of how I’ve managed to make changes that will keep me healthy and happy for years to come.

You can do it too. 👍

I was 17 stone, same height as you. I don’t use any injections at all - the side effects are frightening, 2 of my wider friendship group have been hospitalised one with pancreatitis and the other dehydrated (from gastro issues). However it works brilliantly for many!!

I am 15 stone 2 at the minute through slog - I don’t get it right at the time diet wise but have gone back to 5 fruit and veg a day, portion size reduction etc… plus I do 50 - 60 lengths in the pool on a Sat, aqua hit, gym strength training and a dance class each week and 2 x dog walks a day. It’s the only way it works for me - its painfully slow - but its coming off!!

Don't discount how hard it is to lose weight once you are significantly overweight. Your body chemistry works against you - I think that is why so many of us are so grateful to MJ. I stopped blaming myself when I found it actually working!

I guess it was this “I really don't want to do mounjaro or similar, I want to change the way I behave and live”

becsuse on the meds you do change the way you behave and live. Everyone knows you can push through on the meds unless on too high a dose, which is one of the reasons why they don’t work for some people. As the desire for the food is stronger than the desire to change and go without.

even with raw skin, impacted mobility. Yoire still not doing it. And at 17 stone it’s a very long road ahead of you. And then you need to keep it off.

im not saying you can’t do it, im asking why you are preferring to talk about it rather than do it.

there is no shame in taking the medication, weight loss is about health, it isn’t about the journey. It isn’t about the congratulations or the effort, it’s about getting healthy.

i lost over 6 stone, bmi 32 down to 20, dress size 18 to an 8, I’ve been maintaining on a low dose for 18 months, i do the gym 5-6 days a week and eat a healthy balanced diet 90 percent of the time. I look fit and toned. As you’d expect.

I tried and couldn’t do it alone. My sleep apnea had me exhausted and craving carbs, my blood pressure meds had me not feeling good, high cortisol due to peri had me gain in the first place. I couldn’t get out of it. Now my sleep apnea is gone, my cortisol levels healthy as is my blood pressure, and off those meds.

so consider if you’re so sure you can do it without, why are you sitting there drinking sugary coffee with a sore weeping tummy and limited mobility.

if you want to do it. Do it. Stop talking about it. Either do it without the meds, or if you can’t take the meds, if you can’t afford them, that’s a different discussion.

For some reason you’re self-sabotaging, do you know why? Maybe you think it’s not worth trying because you “know” you’re going to fail? Or are you somehow trying to fill an emotional gap with food?
I think if you could try and work out what the underlying issues are you might have more success, as PP has said something needs to click in your mind.

Your example of ordering a cappuccino with two sugars, when I was obese I would have happily ordered a hot chocolate and convinced myself that it was ok if I didn’t have whipped cream and marshmallows on top. Now I’m not obese, I lost weight, because eg I make the conscious decision to have a decaf tea instead. It’s not because I prefer the tea, it’s because I know if I have umpteen hot chocolates I’ll be obese again and I don’t want that.
Something had to click in my mind that I couldn’t be slim and eat and drink whatever I want, I have to make mindful decisions every single day and that usually means saying no to the hot chocolates and the cake and the biscuits. Previously I would have said that that was a miserable life but actually being obese made me miserable, I’m much happier now.

I’d use MJ or similar to help you implement the lifestyle changes you need for the longer term. Being honest with yourself, are you going to be able to spend the next year or more in a calorie deficit continually without any help? I don’t think many people are able to do that. The relentlessness of it is why people lose a stone or two and then plateau or it goes back on, because the amount of time it takes to realistically lose 7+ stone is very hard to stick with. WLIs make that process much easier to stick to, and you can implement all the healthy eating and exercise stuff while the WLIs keep the calorie deficit manageable.