I have hit rock bottom

[AgualusasL0ver]

• I'm 45.
• I am 17 stone/roughly 100kg.
• I am 5ft 2.
• I have badly frozen shoulders (previously had steriod injections which were wonderful but now back.
• Due to said shoulder issue I have cut two dresses off me when it was impossible to get my arms up to get them off.
• I have arthritis in my ankles, caused by an underlying condition from childhood, but obviously made worse by my weight.
• My ankles are almost permanently swollen no matter what I do.
• I eat emotionally - happy eat, not happy eat.
• I cannot put socks on without lifting my feet onto a chair.
• I am glad it is summer as tights are an absolute nightmare.
• I cannot wear sandals and buckle them because it hurts to twist my - feet/legs to get the right angle.
• I cannot sit on the floor/grass because I cannot get up.
• I only have a bath and as of last week I have been washing standing up with a jug because I usually turn on my front and push myself up by my elbows (because I cannot just get up from sitting) and my shoulders were so painful I couldn't push myself up.
• On the weekend an old lady asked me how I was handling the weather and then proceeded to ask me about my big day etc, yes she thought I was pregnant - and I just ran with it.
• I have intolerable sleep apnoea, diagnosed but not treated as I changed job and now need to go to NHS to get it treated and I just haven't prioritised it.

I know what I am doing wrong: I snack and my portions are large. I am almost totally inactive.

I have a leisure centre on my road with a pool, I like swimming, I am slow and get very out of breath. I don't care about being a bigger swimmer in a costume, I almost feel more comfortable than when dressed. I have a lido 7 mins walk away which has a drop in morning session.

I have a vast open space I could walk in with hills (but not hiking) that I could walk. I get very out of breath but when I did this during Covid I got better at it, so I know I can do it - I lost weight doing this every single day and people noticed.

I had a Les Mills sub and I loved it. But that is tricky as we have a smallish flat and there is ALWAYS someone at home.

I lost 3 stone after the birth of my second DC - 18 years ago with WW.

I spent my 20s a rough size 8, between 8-9 stone.

I have 3 DCs - 20, 18 and 15, so that shouldn't stop me.
I have a fussy DH, but he would happily start eating more grills and things I think.
I have elderly parents with needs, but I even take two buses to their place when it is a 20 min (maybe 30 min for me) walk.

I have a busy job and don't get home until about 7.30-8pm and am tired.

I KNOW, cutting snacks, less and better carbs (not no carbs), moving more intentionally would help my sleep, my arthritis, my general Peri-Menopausalness, and just be better but even when I am better it makes no real difference. Honest me would say I have no tried very hard, but I do try to load up veggies at work rather than the carbs etc. I know I need to do so much more.

I agree that you need to start somewhere. Don’t go ‘all out’ as you’ll ‘fail’. Start building in habits that last and gradually add them every few days or weeks until you’ve made the change:

Drink more water

Move more - a walk or swim

Use Chat GTP and ask for an eating plan, name foods you like and specify low carb, higher protein, also ask for healthy snack ideas.

Log your food - calorie count and weigh food, get a good set of digital kitchen scales.

I don’t think you should discount WLI but long term you need to build sustainable and healthy habits.

Please don't rule out Mounjaro - it's just tool, a medication that will help you in your current situation.
It can help with the sleep apnea (but please get medical help with that anyway - it can be life threatening!) and it has other benefits, like reducing inflammation.
I started MJ when I was BMI of 36, and honestly felt so horrible - constant aches and pains, hobbling down the stairs, breathless walking up the stairs. My life is completely different now - I'm a healthy BMI and feel amazing. It is just so nice to be slim & healthy again.
I put off taking the meds for over a year because I was scared of them - now I kick myself for not taking them sooner. After all, we all know we "can" do it - no one came out of Belsen fat blah blah - but it is really difficult and we don't! Otherwise we'd all be slim.

Another vote for weight loss medication. My only regret is not starting it sooner. It’s a miracle drug. There’s the option of the Wegovy tablet now too.

I don't 'feel' depressed per se, in fact I feel a have a lot of great things in my life in terms of people, what I am able to access and do etc, but I did initially start to put the weight on during some very tricky times and those particular issues whilst no longer problematic do have a legacy and I have had some additional things that I do probably need to address as well.

I think the reason I haven't really done anything is because over all life does feel decent - despite all the frankly terrible stuff I posted, so it is pressing in the moment but then I am having a good time and I forgot, until I put my socks on/need a shower/fancy a bath.

I am not particularly embarrassed by how I look, I have some nice clothes that I feel good in, I don't feel self conscious on the beach or by the lido - in fact that space feels very levelling. I'm still extremely confident and happy in all other areas. All things I guess I expect to feel mortified by.

That said, I am mortified and upset and all the rest of the emotions about everything in first post, not because of how I look, but because I am clearly extremely unhealthy and suffering with things that are a direct consequence of my weight and that this will not improve if I do not do something.

I actually had forgotten about the cost involved in meds, so will have to consider that too, but this is my ongoing health so if something else gives to facilitate that - whether that is MJ or the financing the gym or whatever it may be then I will do that.

I will look into and message the poster who mentioned the therapy type angle as I could do with talking things out I think- and probably some actual therapy.

I am pleased to hear so many people are being successful though, whichever path they have chosen.

Me too, I see so so many posts from women on here saying will I miss food, can you still eat, all my enjoyment in life is food or drink, can I stop for my holidays so I can eat and drink more.

yes if you get your dopamine hit from food, you need to find something to replace it, that’s no different on the drugs or off. If you don’t, yes you will likely feel flat. That’s dieting for you.

you need to pick your poison,pick your hard, being obese for me was fucking miserable and I wasn’t well, now I’m fit and healthy. Enjoying food didn’t make uo for the misery of it.

Took me best part of a year to lose it, with every day, every week getting lighter and healthier, and now it’s wonderful. I maintain on a low dose, I eat healthy nearly all the time, but when I socialise or go out for dinner, I eat whay I please and drink as I please. I don’t feel deprived, hungry, I don’t struggle with my weight, I’m completely in control.

i now have moderation in my tool belt. I don’t sit and want to eat everything, i never give a thought to the chocolate or crisps in the cupboard, when i do eat something like that, im satiated after a small amount and stop. I never drink wine at home any more, be it after a tough work day or a weekend, I don’t even give it any thought, but when out with friends or husband, i can have a few large glasses, and feel fine the next day, and not consider more the next night.

on holidays I eat and drink what i please, just get back into eating healthy when I come back and my weight goes back to where it should be.

for me, my body and mind now operates as it should round food and drink

Op I haven’t lost tons of weight but I did it from halving what I ate. Just literally I’ll just have two weetabix and one slice of toast, the. Fruit and water then two slices of bread (sandwich) for lunch, then snacky veg or a packet of crisps every second day instead of every day etc. Didn’t change dinner. Three fizzy drinks a week, every second day not eating in front of the tv. Because I’d listed my issues like you have and they were my issues!! And everything is hard but everything is a win(I got through today, well done me kind of thing). It sounds so hard but I started getting used to it and then started seeing that as what I ate.

But I would also suggest mountjaro x hugs op, your mindset sounds like you’re on the way already x

I cried when I decided to order WLI, I saw my inability to “control myself” or “just eat less and move more” as a failure, as weakness, as being worthless.
12 months on I’m 29kgs lighter with a totally different approach to food, alcohol and exercise. WLIs have changed my body and my brain chemistry and given me a reset in terms of what a normal portion is and what full actually feels like. My BMI is healthy, my body feels strong and healthy and my relationship with food is now healthy. I wish I hadn’t tried to “go it alone” for so long, getting heavier and more miserable by the day.
Good luck with whatever you choose @AgualusasL0ver but choosing to take help doesn’t make you (or me) a failure in any way

Another to say that the meds have changed my life. I lost weight very slowly and have become more active, and am loving life! I do believe that I will be on this for life, but it has changed everything! The cost of the meds has been balanced by the cost of the food that I am
no longer buying or eating. My insulin resistance has reversed. I am so much healthier and so much happier.

I swim, do yoga and Pilates and work out in a gym. And I enjoy it so much!

@AgualusasL0ver , that all sounds absolutely miserable; you aren’t short of motivation to sort out your problems.
You have the why but does it all seem like a mammoth task?
It can be very overwhelming when there seems so much to change, would you consider making a list of the things you’d like to change and just picking one and working on that? Please remember we’re all human and we all make mistakes and fall off the wagon sometimes but so long as we know to expect that to happen and we climb back on again it really is ok. Aiming for perfection is asking for trouble.
If I could pick one thing for you to start with it would be that if you consume ultra processed foods or drinks to work on eliminating them from your life. Chris Van Tulleken wrote a great book Ultra Processed People which details why. Take a look at the Zoe podcasts which are health focused and read around the subject of insulin resistance which I bet you have a degree of.
Think where you would want to be a year from now (realistically), you can be that person, you can!
Good luck!

I'll take a look at the book and podcasts. Despite all of this, I am not miserable which is maybe also an excuse to not be doing much to fix it, because I don't recognise what has been posted above. I am sad, annoyed, upset about how I have let all the individual things develop, but as a whole I am not miserable. Though I can and do accept without question ALL of my list could be eradicated or at least reduced significantly (e.g. arthritis that is an underlying condition, but much much worse because of the weight) by losing weight.

I have started looking at the meds suggested as well.

One thing that has come up as a side effect is nausea. Is this something people have experienced?

No I wasn’t miserable as my entire persona I think maybe you’ve misunderstood,

peiple are saying it’s miserable being obese, there is no way you like having open sores on your body, no way you enjoy not being able to get out the bath. No way you enjoy all the other issues you face. All these things impact your day to day,

people are saying you’re in the right mind set. I don’t think you are. I think you’re in a mindset where you feel you should but just don’t really want to yet.

and me. No side effects, like 80 percent t of people.

I’d also add if you’re not mentally there yet, don’t start the drugs, you will find ways to ensure they fail and stop,

you need to wait till you’re mentally ready to do this, as it is not easy, you need to proactively diet, chose healthy foods, drink 3 litres of water a day, eat enough protein, start tk exercise.

if you’re not there and I’m not sure you are, then wait until you are.

I got to 19 stone 5lbs in April and felt like you. Everything hurt (I’m 5 foot 5). I started counting calories on Nutracheck and started swimming as much as I could. To begin with I could do around 20 lengths before needing a rest (15m pool). I’ve just come back from a 94 length swim. So far I’ve lost 37lbs and am down to 16 stone 10lbs. I’ve still got a long way to go, you can do it!!

I've worked with someone in a very similar situation to you and we changed the way she thought about food. Happy to DM (or post) the link to her Youtube video if you'd like.

I had a bit of nausea but usually just for the first couple of days of taking a new dose. The way MJ works is that you start with a low dose, and then move up a dose every four weeks (if you want to). So yes for me a bit of nausea but maybe for 7-8 days or so of the 400 I have been taking it.

Yes, for the first couple of weeks, then again for a couple of weeks when I increased the dose. However, I’ve stayed at 5mg (the second dose) for the best part of a year. It seems to me that people get more side effects when they rush up the doses too quickly. Staying at a lower dose also means I don’t get full appetite suppression, I do feel a bit of hunger which helped me massively when I had to come off them for a bit as being hungry wasn’t a shock and keeping in a calorie deficit was not hard.

The great thing about the WLIs is if it’s not for you then you can just stop taking them. I know many of us on here have got on so well with them, but they aren’t for everyone, everyone responds differently.

I have had mild nausea as a side effect quite routinely- usually the morning after injection day. I have also had really horrible D&V a few times (not early on in the process). You don’t know how it will affect you until you try it. I take psyllium husk capsules and probiotics with digestive enzymes and 🤞haven’t had the worst of the side effects since.

Yes I take one of those every morning, with a litre of water before I start my day, first thing I do, and I’ve never had any side effects.

I tell a lie, some mild nausea when I moved to 5mg.and occasional low blood sugar, which I would just pop a dextrose tab for amd if resolved fairly immediately. I also had the runs when I drank far too many fresh fruif blended margaritas on Holiday. But suspect I’d have got that anyway with all the fruit . 😂

80 perecenf have no side effects, for those who do, I see a lot has to do with what they consume, or don’t consume. As not eating makes you feel sick,

Small point -
100kg = about 15st 10lb
17 stone = 108kg

So either you’re one or the other; whichever you are, please don’t be hard on yourself for being that weight! We are where we are (& I’m definitely 17 stone 3lb!) but only recently have I accepted that this is a metabolic disease and it’s one of the many that I have.
After a short upcoming holiday I shall be working my way towards 16 stone & then see where I get to - no matter how long this first stage takes. Still not sure of the process (can’t take MJ etc due to other meds) but I am genuinely motivated by your own motivation.

Best wishes OP, I look forward to seeing your results x

Very few side effects for me, I’m another one who stayed on a low dose because I was losing weight so didn’t see the need to move up.
I got fairly bad constipation after 3 months which took a bit of trial and error to resolve and one horrible episode of D&V but that was entirely my fault as I ignored my fullness signals and ploughed on with curry and wine in significant volume!
Rest of the time it’s only upsides with no more joint or nerve pain.

Have you thought about Slimming World (or another slimming group)?
I've lost about 5 stone with SW and now do the weigh in for my group. It's such a supportive, friendly environment and the plan is dead easy to fit around family life. I honestly was never hungry once and lost all the weight within a year. My DH needed to lose weight as well and just by eating what I did he lost it and his cholesterol came down to a healthy level too. You sound so lovely and upbeat any group would welcome you with open arms.

SW gets a bad rap on here but it's definitely worth thinking about. Really good luck with whatever you decide. You deserve to be well and happy.

Thanks @DorsetMermaid I did try SW a few years ago as there was no longer a WW near me. To another poster's point I definitely wasn't ready, but also they announced everyone's loss/gain to the group which I found mortifying for everyone not just me.

That said, I am willing to consider all things. I have no always been overweight and when I lost and kept off (not forever, true, but for about 5 years) it was with WW so I do recognise I do NEED some help, whether that is SW, WW, the meds or a combination is what I am grappling with.

You have to change the way you behave and live while on Mounjaro.

the jab helps you make the right choices but you still have to make them. I put off starting them for way too long, now I have lost 3 stone in 3 months and I wish I had done it a year ago.

The jab means I don’t snack, I don’t overeat, and I have had the chance to get used to this. When I come off the jabs I may still have food cravings but I’ve learned better behaviours. I am staying on 2.5 dose for the entire time I lose weight and will not go up.

the jabs are just another tool that goes alongside diet and exercise, and changing attitudes to food. They aren’t instead of all of that.