Not happy with 2 of my bridesmaids...

[DeterminedandSpecialMum]

I'm getting married in August. I asked 2 of my cousins to be a bridesmaid. Since then they have hardly got involved in the wedding prep. Are not coming to my hen even tho they had 6 months notice about that I wanted to do and they both have the money to do it.

I've already brought their dresses otherwise I would of told them I can't have them as bridesmaids if they are not interested in anything.

Just feel so sad and frustrated. Especially as it is a first time of them being a bridesmaid and you would of thought they would of been a bit more excited!

Just wanted to vent tbh.

Your wedding is four months away! What would you have expected them to be involved in already?

It's the centre of your world.

But not theirs.

And actually, it's not the wedding that matters but the marriage that comes after.

The correct grammar is would have, not would of.
HTH

I know what your saying. I think I'm more disappointed they can't even be bothered to come on my hen.

Hen parties are awful.

Why would anyone want to come on your hen?

Surely that's a bit odd ... although there was an article yesterday about a rude man and a horse...

Seriously though, they don't want to. So? I don't like hen-do's either.

Look I didn't post to get flamed, just to vent disappointment.

Look, in the nicest possible way, there's months yet til your wedding, you're excited, they aren't. Not to the same extent. You want them to be excited, because you are, but it's not their wedding and they just aren't as invested in it as you are.

As long as they turn up and do their duties on the day, what's wrong?

What are their reasons for not going to the hen?

I need to sort their shoes out for the day and neither of them will get back to me about sizes etc I can't estimate that for one reason. Its not necessarily about them being involved in anything else but things regarding them, they just can't be arsed to get involved.

Scarlett Both said they didn't know what they were doing that weekend even tho it was arranged in January and not till end July so could of planned around it iykwim. Its a trip to London to see Wicked and go for dinner afterwards, which is something they both love to do.

aargh! Could HAVE, OP, Could HAVE.

sorry, my grammar is normally really good.

You've months to get shoes surely you don't need to get them yet?

Well I do as one of them is going up north to Leeds with her job and isn't sure when she will be able to get back down before the wedding.

So I need to see her before she goes.

Don't they have shoe shops in Leeds?

Yes, and she can buy a pair up there. However, I'm not sure what heel high she will need and that's why I need to see her to find out.

How many bridesmaids do you have altogether?

What do you mean about the heels?

4

at 4.

Chaos Dresses are long and slightly drag along the floor so need a heel to make it the right height iykwim.

Well, I do sympathise-you're excited, you would like to be able to share it and have some fun doing prep for the wedding. I can understand that.

It's a shame they feel differently, but obviously they do. I'm the same as them-like weddings, hate the prep. I think adult bridesmaids are the work of the devil and never want to have to be one again. Which is why if anyone ever asked me to do it I'd refuse, or at least make clear I'm not up for hen dos and dress-hunting etc etc.

If they are really quite uninterested it might have been better, and kinder, to turn you down.

They have shoes in Leeds!! ;) moved on a long way recently!
Seriously though maybe look at some shoes you feel would match the dresses and offer a choice. Don't forget you do have plenty of time for things like shoes and seasons/styles change
Good luck with the wedding I'm sure things will be perfect on the day

Eldritch When I asked them they were excited then. Both stated they were so happy as never been a bridesmaid before and would be so fun. Since then absolutely nothing :(