Not happy with 2 of my bridesmaids...

[DeterminedandSpecialMum]

I'm getting married in August. I asked 2 of my cousins to be a bridesmaid. Since then they have hardly got involved in the wedding prep. Are not coming to my hen even tho they had 6 months notice about that I wanted to do and they both have the money to do it.

I've already brought their dresses otherwise I would of told them I can't have them as bridesmaids if they are not interested in anything.

Just feel so sad and frustrated. Especially as it is a first time of them being a bridesmaid and you would of thought they would of been a bit more excited!

Just wanted to vent tbh.

I agree with pictish - normally I can't be arsed with bridal madness, but you seem reasonable and I think it is perfectly understandable that you are disappointed that 2 of your bridesmaids don't want to go to the hen night.

strange responses on here from some as well.

Hopefully all will be well on the day - think you just have to accept that these two bridesmaids are not really that interested.

I can see why you are disappointed that friends turn down invitations to a special night out when you have been able to give them several months notice.

I'm never sure what these other bridesmaid duties are mean to be. I thought it was just to wear what the bride chooses, and to be unfailingly complimentary about it whatever real opinion is and never mention if the shoes rub. Also to go to the brides house on the day f the wedding, to "help" her get ready. To be decorative during the ceremony, and to shag the Best Man (optional).

It's surely still a bit early to know how they'll do at those.

It is, I'm afraid, unrealistic to expect months of sustained enthusiasm.

Your wedding is 4 months away. They will be utterly unable to comprehend what the urgency is about shoes etc. Relax, no one gets excited about someone elses wedding in 4 months time, that is after the summer. They will probably think you are being OTT hounding them about shoes now. It is not important, so let it go and focus on your upcoming marriage - the wedding is just one day and shoes are a trivial part of that.

I think it's not so much about them being excited just to be a little more responsive when it comes to them as I know how busy they both are do I can work around them.

Of course it's natural to be disappointed that they don't seem to want to be involved.

Ignore the people having a go. There are some wierdly aggressive posters on MN who just like to have a go IMO.

OP - I have little to add about your bridesmaids but don't apologise for your grammar errors - only the very ignorant make snarky comments about grammar/spelling errors. Or teachers who speak to everyone like they are naughty children.

I bloody hate self-appointed grammar police.

I sympathise. My 'head' bridesmaid couldn't care less despite the 200 pound dress she demanded/chose herself. She has just got engaged and is having 6 bridesmaids... I'm not one! Bloody charming. I guess your bridesmaids might have other stuff going on but you'd think they'd make the effort as they are family!

Have you had any joy with your absent bridesmaids Determined? Can understand why you are frustrated but if they are not close friends they probably aren't that bothered, they will just want to turn up on the day, get dressed up, photographed and eat and drink at your expense. Don't expect any more from them. Hope your other two bridesmaids are supportive!

They sounds like pretty rubbish bridesmaids. No idea why you got such a tough response, four months is no time at all.