The Thirty-First Republic - oh the joy of on-line parents evenings

[StaffAssociationRepresentative]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

Anyone listening to JVT's acronym now??!! Fuck me!!

C - look for overCrowding, Closed spaces (indoors), Close Contacts

poor Ventilation

Volume : how loud and noisy??

Duration : length of time!

Im happy about the vax, though as a 40yo it feels like i'll have had it (again?) by the time im offered a vax if at all.
Bizarrely my dad who i think if about 75 will then get before my mum 70 or so who was shielding.

If it's not sterilising vax he could have to stay in till she is vaxxed anyway. Also though. Say 90/95 etc is very high ive got 2 parents and pil and gpil etc so the risk of one still getting it is going to still be there.

As JVT described the conditions in virtually every classroom in the land I wondered if he was doing it on purpose. Basically it means classrooms are unsafe.

Half way through another week! We still don't know when we're closing for Christmas Sturgeon dragging it out awfully.

I also have an ear infection or something. It doesn't hurt but I can't hear anything, which is actually pretty pleasant.

@noblegiraffe

We’re told topics in advance for maths, it’s called the syllabus.

Us too. I'm 100% sure I know which texts my students will be tested on 🤷‍♀️

Like the new username?

I was going to go for claimstobeateacher or hiveofearmongers or thevocalminority or discipleofthenoblegiraffe

Love it. But you might have to tell us who the hell you are!

P French?

I am Nick Gibb. I am hunting high and low for Gavin. Have you seen him?

Happy Surreal Teachers Advent one and all! 🎄 🎁 🍷

(My comment related to the ones immediately above. Obvs)

I was pfrench.

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot

I was pfrench.

Ah always wondered who you were.

I'm probably jinxing it now - but despite a local rate of approx 200 per 100,000, we currently have no groups out of school, no X codes in the classes I've taught this week, and haven't been told of any cases in my school!

I'm Spartacus

And goats.

I feel as if I'm overdue for a name-change, but want to hang around in here under this one.

@noblegiraffe

We’re told topics in advance for maths, it’s called the syllabus.

I mean, the same applies in science- we know what topics will be tested and on which paper.

I suppose they could tell us which specific bits of the syllabus (it's usually about 1/3 tested each year) but that will only be useful if they tell us pretty far in advance and we can do some focused in class revision.

@whereisGavin

I am Nick Gibb. I am hunting high and low for Gavin. Have you seen him?

He is playing with his whip over at the DfE - they have their very own version of pin the tail on the donkey

I just heard that Gavin is in fact writing his very Big Statement for tomorrow which says :

*Schools are safe. Chris Whitty says we should all do exams and stuff and schools are the best places for children to be. The ONS says so.. Just revise. 99.9% of children are at school, or at home, with their free laptops , the spongers. getting lessons via Zoom and free porn. Therefore, because exams are really accurate and fair ,all students will be doing exams, even year 1. We'll ask the examiners to be extra nice. Might throw in an algorithm or two to adjust marks a bit so the poor children do even worse better. Matt H has a next door neighbour who is a whizz at baking so he can whip up a policy. Schools are and must stay open to all pupils.

Oh yeah, thank you teachers you workshy bastards

This made me laugh so much more than it should.

Definitely on the countdown till end of term, this week not too bad but exhausting tbh.

Personally I think variations on ilovenoble, giraffesaregreat etc would work best as new names.

@whereisGavin 😂

Not been home long as I had parents eve calls. They were all lovely but I am so tired now! Round 2 tomorrow!

Think I'll be in bed soon!

Ah the haters have already done noblegiraffe-themed usernames. Which is super weird of them.