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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

My cat is a MASSIVE WANKER

60 replies

12BottlesOfVintageChampagne · 13/03/2023 07:55

We have a pair of British shorthair x sisters, who are incredibly gorgeous. We adore them unreservedly. Except the Little One has really tested my patience this weekend. DH I both work from home so are around pretty much all the time. However, we made a rare trip out as a family this weekend, which meant we were out for about five hours. Little Cat took the opportunity to show her displeasure by annihilating one of my house plants. When we got home, not only had she knocked the pot off the (high) shelf, she'd bitten off all the trailing parts of my lovely Tradescantia and laid them in a trail along the hallway. This must have taken her some time, and had a massive FUCK YOU vibe about it. I got up this morning and she's done it with a second plant, which used to be full, verdant and beautiful. Now it's three sticks in a pot ☹️ Little One has suffered no obvious ill-effects from chomping my home decor. Big One couldn't be less interested - it's just her sister. Has anyone else experienced a cat that is performatively destructive? Does anyone know what drives it? Or is she just - as I suspect- a bit of a dick?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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PsychoHotSauce · 13/03/2023 07:58

Can we get pics of the damage? Grin

Wiccan · 13/03/2023 08:07

Yep had a female cat that would break things if she didn't get her way litterly Knocking things off of shelves with her paw , she took immense pride in doing it too. Nothing we could do about it and we loved her dearly she lived for 18 years but some our belongings didn't 🤣

Beamur · 13/03/2023 08:10

Typical cat behaviour.
One of mine goes into destructive mode to get attention. She doesn't really like me talking to DH in his office and starts hanging off things and trying to climb the shelves and such like. Stops as soon as I leave (and comes with me, v pleased with herself)

Napmum · 13/03/2023 08:24

Probably spite like you say, but do they get outside access? If not, they need car grass to help them bring up fur balls.

Also, could she be bored? Sounds like she's found a very satisfying game since she can't slaughter mice or birds. Maybe some new interactive cat toys that you leave out when you go out.

lljkk · 13/03/2023 08:44

Cat tax applies to miscreants, too.
Furry bastard overlords for sure.

Mizydoscape · 13/03/2023 08:51

Cats are dicks in general OP. I def say that on the regular about one of mine.

OTOH you can propagate the bitten off trailing bits of your tradscantia and make a new plant so all is not lost. I do it with mine when it's looking a bit straggly.

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 09:03

This has confirmed my choice of not having a cat! I love my house plants too much. They would annihilate these...
The only good thing about them being kept inside is they can't shit in the garden or torture and kill mice and baby birds. The neighbours cats regularly do this and I saw one going along the fence trying to get into a bird box. Cats are vile.

My cat is a MASSIVE WANKER
TheAdmiralAndFishermanFavorEntirelyDifferentPies · 13/03/2023 09:10

We had a cat that would express her displeasure at us leaving the house - only us, she was allowed to wander about without consequence - by shitting on the front door mat so there would be an arc of poo smear if you opened the front door without carefully looking through it. Or smelling through the letter box.

shieldmaiden7 · 13/03/2023 09:26

Yes we have one cat like this. We have to leave certain rooms shut when we go out or she's like a tornado. She eats my plants too. She's a knob but we love her.

Zarqon · 13/03/2023 09:31

Is this an indoor cat, with no cat flap? If so I can see why she’d go for the plants, she’d be bored and craving the natural world.

If it’s a cat with free access to a cat flap and garden then yeah your cat is a dick. Just like humans cans have the full range of personalities, some are loving and forgiving, some are total wankers.

Octopusmittens · 13/03/2023 09:32

TheAdmiralAndFishermanFavorEntirelyDifferentPies · 13/03/2023 09:10

We had a cat that would express her displeasure at us leaving the house - only us, she was allowed to wander about without consequence - by shitting on the front door mat so there would be an arc of poo smear if you opened the front door without carefully looking through it. Or smelling through the letter box.

smelling through the letter box.

That made me laugh out loud 😂

Fleur405 · 13/03/2023 09:33

I mean my cat is a Grade A wanker - aren’t most cats?

Bunnyishotandcross · 13/03/2023 09:34

Our dcat has made it until 11 years old to discover spider plants are tasty.
Twat.

Rebel2 · 13/03/2023 09:35

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 09:03

This has confirmed my choice of not having a cat! I love my house plants too much. They would annihilate these...
The only good thing about them being kept inside is they can't shit in the garden or torture and kill mice and baby birds. The neighbours cats regularly do this and I saw one going along the fence trying to get into a bird box. Cats are vile.

Mine doesn't do any of that. He won't touch plants, comes to find me if he knocks something over, refuses to even wee outside and is "birds/mice/insects are friends, not food"

I actually suspect he's a stuffed toy in disguise!

Bepis · 13/03/2023 09:38

@12BottlesOfVintageChampagne 3 sticks in a pot 😂🤣. Cats are idiots. I bought a brand new dining set with leather chairs once, only to have my car put claw marks all over them. And they chewed my new wooden blinds

TheRealHousewife · 13/03/2023 10:05

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 09:03

This has confirmed my choice of not having a cat! I love my house plants too much. They would annihilate these...
The only good thing about them being kept inside is they can't shit in the garden or torture and kill mice and baby birds. The neighbours cats regularly do this and I saw one going along the fence trying to get into a bird box. Cats are vile.

What do you call the plant with the large dark green leaves and light coloured veins pls? It’s stunning 😍

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 11:03

Thanks! It's an Alocasia or elephants ear. It's not really happy here though as you can see rust on one of the leaves. It needs a humid environment and it's very dry fron the heating but it does benefit from regular spraying.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/03/2023 11:06

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 11:03

Thanks! It's an Alocasia or elephants ear. It's not really happy here though as you can see rust on one of the leaves. It needs a humid environment and it's very dry fron the heating but it does benefit from regular spraying.

Try standing it in a gravel tray which is kept moist.

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 11:10

Fleur405 · 13/03/2023 09:33

I mean my cat is a Grade A wanker - aren’t most cats?

Mine doesn't do any of that. He won't touch plants, comes to find me if he knocks something over, refuses to even wee outside and is "birds/mice/insects are friends, not food"

I actually suspect he's a stuffed toy in disguise

Wow he sounds gorgeous! He's the only sort of cat I would consider. My DF has a cat who is a proper lap cat. He is so cuddly but if you stop fussing him, he gets stroppy...the whole world must revolve around him the whole time! I would love him if he didn't bring in half eaten mice..I saw one poor victim dragging its back legs behind it, it had been tortured by the cat. I know mice are vermin but that was particularly hard to see.

aineoverseas · 13/03/2023 11:11

Oh my blue boy is a huge jerk. AKA Mr Dickbrain.

He was such a sweet kitten too.

Original poster
12BottlesOfVintageChampagne · 13/03/2023 11:12

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone in sharing my home with an arsehole cat 😆 I'm also delighted that this thread has generated some horticultural tips, too! Little One has free access to the outdoors, but is extremely precious about the weather. As such, she tends to stay indoors when it's cold or damp. Another dick move of hers is when she wants feeding in the morning and I am inconveniently still asleep. She climbs onto the top of the headboard and launches herself onto my stomach, then runs away immediately, because she knows she'll get shouted at. Wanker.

OP posts:
Original poster
12BottlesOfVintageChampagne · 13/03/2023 11:13

TheAdmiralAndFishermanFavorEntirelyDifferentPies · 13/03/2023 09:10

We had a cat that would express her displeasure at us leaving the house - only us, she was allowed to wander about without consequence - by shitting on the front door mat so there would be an arc of poo smear if you opened the front door without carefully looking through it. Or smelling through the letter box.

Oh god good. The Old Lady cat does something similar. She has ruined many a coir doormat.

OP posts:
Mammma91 · 13/03/2023 11:16

Oh that sounds like my Luna. She too, is an an arsehole in her own right. I have 3 cats, 2 males and she’s my only female. I can’t have plants or flowers. I got a lovely bunch for my birthday and she’s tormented me with them, looking me dead in the eye on approach.

Have you heard of citronella? It’s orange like scent. Cats hate it! If you put a few little drops on the shelf, it’ll deter her as the smell is strong for cats. I have to do it to my Christmas tree! I have 2 who take it in turns to wreck my Christmas tree every year and it worked a treat last Christmas! 🤣

BooseysMom · 13/03/2023 11:20

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/03/2023 11:06

Try standing it in a gravel tray which is kept moist.

Show quote history

Thanks, that's good advice...my DB suggested that too.

Sorry for derailing the thread there everyone..I'll pop across to the gardening section!

Phos · 13/03/2023 11:23

My cats have left claw marks in our bedroom curtains because they were fighting each other THROUGH the curtains. Massive wankers both.