My cat is a MASSIVE WANKER

[12BottlesOfVintageChampagne]

We have a pair of British shorthair x sisters, who are incredibly gorgeous. We adore them unreservedly. Except the Little One has really tested my patience this weekend. DH I both work from home so are around pretty much all the time. However, we made a rare trip out as a family this weekend, which meant we were out for about five hours. Little Cat took the opportunity to show her displeasure by annihilating one of my house plants. When we got home, not only had she knocked the pot off the (high) shelf, she'd bitten off all the trailing parts of my lovely Tradescantia and laid them in a trail along the hallway. This must have taken her some time, and had a massive FUCK YOU vibe about it. I got up this morning and she's done it with a second plant, which used to be full, verdant and beautiful. Now it's three sticks in a pot ☹️ Little One has suffered no obvious ill-effects from chomping my home decor. Big One couldn't be less interested - it's just her sister. Has anyone else experienced a cat that is performatively destructive? Does anyone know what drives it? Or is she just - as I suspect- a bit of a dick?

We got a kitten last month. He’s just ramping up to some prime dickish behaviour. Today he Tarzanned off the curtains and knocked down a picture frame, breaking it. He also knocked my cactuses off a window sill because he felt like he deserved to be up there more than they did.

@BooseysMom yeah he's a soft one! Will sit happily being brushed/kissed/fussed

Look up video clips of "Simon's Cat". Pretty much all of these traits are described in hilarious mini cartoon clips.
Also be aware that some pot plants can be very toxic to cats, I think lilies is one of them. Have a Google.

The reason why I don't have house plants - my cats would totally be dicks! Just in case you weren't aware though Tradescantia can be mildly toxic to cats.

I once had two full years of a completely empty kitchen dresser as one of my cats knocked everything off it for the first two years of his life. He would look defiantly at me as he did it as if to say, ‘so, what you gonna do then?’ Little swine but I loved him to bits.

My cat eats plants if given the chance. The plants now live in a room where he is not allowed access, for their safety and his! He also signals his displeasure by removing a kitchen baseboard and getting under the units. Always the same baseboard. He is a twat, but also loveable.

Here is the channel for Simon's cat. Each one is only about a minute long

Mine used to do a spite poo if we went away overnight.

We would have someone pop in or if it was for an overnight party I’d leave double food out, dinner and breakfast, we’d be back before lunch. I wouldn’t do this now,but this was 30 years ago.

As we came back I’d always make sure I was in the house first and I would rush around playing Hunt the Turd before my husband came in with the bags.

It once took me three days to find the one my cat had done behind the curtain. They were always firm so it was easy to whisk them away before my husband saw it. Don’t ask me why it was so important my husband didn’t see it, but I just knew itwas one of his triggers and he wasn’t a fan of cats generally.

The cat flap was left open permanently, and my cat never ever soiled in the house except when we left him overnight.

Yup... it is your punishment for leaving her all alone! (Even though if you were at home, she'd have probably ignored you anyway)

The worst things my cat(s) have done when they've disliked something I've done (i.e. leaving them alone, or having too many people in the house) have been:

• destroying sets of blinds
• catching and dismembering mice, leaving "bits" everywhere (thankfully the pool of blood was on wipeable flooring)
• pissing all over the spare bed that our weekend guests were sleeping in
• leaving a big stinking shit in the middle of my bed

It's a good job they're cute...

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.
Really needed this laughter.
A compilation of a day in the life of a cat owner

If you hate cats why are you posting on the Litter Tray?

Simon's Cat 'The Vet' is my favourite episode. I recognise so much of it in my own dickcats.

Plants in this house are plastic because I'm not good with horticulture. I did try with a spider plant during lockdown but one of the cats ate it.

To try and make people wake up to the error of their ways I guess... No really, it's kind of difficult to ignore a thread with the title 'my cat is a MASSIVE WANKER' isn't it? That's just screaming out to all the cat haters out there!

Why is she even reading the Litter Tray? 🤷‍♀️

Our old lady would do a poo in any houseplant I decided to get and I would probably kill it anyway. I had to get a litter tray because she started peeing in the living room when we went away.

She now plays happily outside all day if the weather is nice and then comes in for a pee!

Her younger brother expressed his displeasure the other day when I didn't give him even more Felix biscuits even though he had a full bowl. He then caught a mouse and chomped on it loudly behind the sofa.

Three sad sticks

I think we need a picture of her Ladyship of Naughtiness please.

We had one cat who used to do a poo in a shoe whenever we brought her home from the cattery after a holiday.

Here she is in all her evil glory

Oh you must be fibbing surely? Can’t believe that sweet little face could belong to a naughty puss! 😹

I have 2 British shorthairs too who are sisters! Here's just one of the latest many crimes they have committed recently 😁

I can't quite see what she'll done, but she looks very busted

Like some cats, some posters are wankers.

Well, she's struck again. This time it was the poor, innocent Pilea, which now looks like it's cowering in fear. It will have join the ever-growing gang of mutilated plants that hide from her in my bedroom.She can't get at them there. Silly me for thinking we can have nice things.

The thread came up in active so you wouldn’t necessarily notice it was in the litter tray, I didn’t.

I sometimes read cat threads to marvel at what people are prepared to put up with.

Ah... of course it would be a tortie/calico... I'm afraid that was your first mistake!

I remember picking up mine from the vet after an op and the nurse sighed really loudly as she came in to the room, having battled for 10 mins to get her in to a carrier.

"Bit of a handful was she?" I asked. The nurse replied "Yes, and we've had a surgery full of tortoiseshells today - it's been a nightmare!"