Best age for children when getting a puppy

[snazzychair]

I have two children, 2 and 5, will be 3 and 6 when we get a puppy.

Those of you with children, did you find it better to get a dog while the children were smaller and with less extra curricular activities on the weekend and evening? Or a bit older?

We will get one in the summer - I know how difficult the first year will be but at the moment the kids don't do any extra curricular activities, nothing in the evening and so I was thinking while we have no commitments we can get a puppy, train it and get used to family life with a dog and then when the kids are a bit older and might want to do sports then we might have a calmer dog to take with us to eg. Football, leave for a couple of hours in the evening etc.

What works for you?

Honestly? I would wait until your youngest is at least 8. Puppies are horrible bitey land sharks for months. They look cute but their teeth are like needles and they bite constantly. It’s not just a training issue (as in, you can’t think “I’ll just train it not to bite us!”) - you absolutely can train them to direct their behaviour towards toys and chews, but it takes time. Literally everyone who gets a puppy for the first time panics that their pup is savage/aggressive/biting at abnormal levels - they never are. It’s a compulsion puppies have and it settles by about nine months. But until that time they hurt and they are particularly keen on biting children, whose noisy tendencies and fast movements naturally excite them. The only answer really is to separate children and pups until the phase passes but realistically that’s hard to do.

Plus: toilet training is hard. It means being out in the garden every 15 mins rain or shine for weeks, and even then you’ll be clearing up accidents. Small children and poo isn’t an ideal combination. Plus the puppy will steal and chew/swallow toys that are lying around.

We got our latest pup when youngest child was 8 and even then it was hard. She was still bitten despite our best efforts and was quite frightened for a while to be in the same room as him, even with us there. It passed, and now he’s 16 months and her best friend, and it’s hard to remember how bitey he was as they do just flick a switch and stop doing it once teething is over - but I’m glad she wasn’t younger when we got him.

At least school age for the youngest, and sometimes older depending on the child.

You need to be able to give them instructions and know that they’ll follow them - including stuff like, don’t squeak or run when the puppy is biting.

and they need to be old enough that you can leave them alone in the house while you go out into the garden, over and over again.

Also, you can’t rely on being able to pick what time of year you get a puppy unless you prioritise that over finding a decent breeder.

21

We've just got a puppy and the kids are 8 and 9. And really fucking irritating around the bloody dog, not listening to instructions. (They'll moan when they get bitten, and we've told them they will.)

I'm beginning to think we should've waited til they were both in secondary school.

@Tygertiger, you're the only other person other than my husband who I've heard use 'land sharks' as a descriptive term. Our puppy gets called one all the time!

The photo is ours in action, with the toy I subbed for my arm!

Jesus that is terrifying, do you really think it's OK that it bit your kid already? Look at those teeth, how on earth people think it's OK to have that as a pet I'll never know.

My two were teenagers when we got our Sprocker - she was known as the Sprockerdile (land shark good too!) as the nipping for the first 6 months was awful! Not malicious, she was a lovely puppy, but the biting when tired was very hard at first.

Training helps but ultimately it’s what puppies do when they’re teething.

Not sure what breed you were thinking of, although to be fair it wouldn’t make much difference!

As a PP said too, it’s also about training the children to leave the puppy alone when it’s tired - and bear in mind puppies need around 20 hours sleep a day!

Puppies are a lot of work which will be tough alongside two young children. If you’re prepared for the graft then you’ll be fine. I got a puppy when DD was 3, it was a lot of work but Dpup was more for me than the family so I didn’t mind putting the work in. As a previous poster has said, they’re very bitey and young children will make them over excitable. My DD ended up with holes in her clothes sometimes. You need to supervise the children and puppy 100% of the time, never ever leave them alone together. It’s doable but it’s going to be a hard few months. Frequent naps for puppy so it doesn’t get overtired/overstimulated.

Definitely school age or ideally a bit older for the youngest, ours were 6 and 9 and that was really as young as I’d want around a puppy, being consistent with training is so vital for safety and that’s impossible with younger children.

P.s teach bite aversion from the get go. Puppy learns from minute one that biting people/clothes is unacceptable. Yell OWWWWCH and turn away/ignore them for a few seconds. Offer an acceptable alternative chew toy. Never allow the puppy bite the children, they have to know it’s wrong immediately.

Teenagers

I’d wait until the youngest is in school.

My first ddog we got when dc were 1,4 and 5.
I was a sahm dm then. No regrets. Dc and ddog had a fab (supervised as she was huge) relationship for the 11 years we had her.. Have further ddogs when obviously they were older.. Did add a baby to the madness and never had any issues. Ime how much time and supervision you intend to give the relationships is key.

We got ours when kids aged 8 and 12, even then it was really tough for first year. I really wouldn’t do it with younger kids. Plus they don’t want to walk the dog with you after the first few times so it’s helpful to pop out for half hour and leave the kids at home if they are old enough.

We got our first dog when our ds was just 2. We had a dog rather than a 2nd baby, I think the baby would have been the easier option! They are terribly hard work as puppies and bitey, my son used to wear wellies in the house to protect his legs. I could have easily given her up in the first 6 months. We absolutely loved her to pieces (sadly lost her recently) but do not underestimate how hard work they are and also how restrictive they are, every time you leave the house you know you are on a countdown to when you need to be back. I then promptly forgot how hard work the first bit was and we got another when our ds was 3.5. Love them to bits but if I was going to do it all over again I would wait until your youngest starts school so you get more of a break from your dog and child being together.

My youngest was 8 when we got ours. Glad we waited until then, as I could no longer go into play parks with them but ok as they were old enough they didn't need me to.
At that age they're mostly left at activities too, so I used that time to walk the dog.
They were old enough to be sensible with the puppy, and take on some of the responsibilities.

He hasn't bitten the children if you're talking about mine. But puppies are bitey little bastards!

And he's really not terrifying; he's a normal Labrador puppy. The biting photo was a brief snapshot in time!

I think you should def wait a few years-for the pup as well as your DC.

My DD dog sat for a gorgeous pup. The children were young-maybe 3 and 5 and the 5 yo was teasing dog with a toy-the dog accidentally scratched child's face (was witnessed my parent and deemed accidental)
But the pup was re-homed. Not fair on anyone

Two things.

One you have to cope with a puppy now. Biting, widdling, training, barking, moulting blah blah. How good are you at getting the kids to do as they're told?

Two, at the other end of the dog's life, what will you and the kids be doing? Will you be getting to the most senior bit of your career while the kids are doing GCSEs, A Levels, and having all the teenage drama, and meanwhile the dog's falling to bits and needs to go to the vet every month? And threatening to drop dead in the middle of exam season?

Actually three things. Find out how much an elderly dog of the breed you're interested in will cost to insure. Because when they're old is when all of a sudden you NEED that insurance and you have a year where you're hitting the max payout and you get back, in one year, all the premiums you paid throughout their life and more! And so the monthly premium of well into 3 figures is something you're glad to pay...

I love dogs and have had them for decades. But when the current one goes, we'll have a break for a few years. We can go places with a clear conscience and without kennel fees or wor$$$e, dogsitter fees. Out for the day, out for an evening, away for the weekend, travelling for a month! The house will be noticeably less grimy. Our bed will be our own. The garden will be free of poop and holes dug in the beds.
The clean house will be oddly empty though!

We got our dog when my youngest was 6.5. It worked very well for us but I was a SAHM for the dog's first year which no doubt helped.

It's just me and my 2 kids. I waited til they were 9 and 11. Had to really as meant could leave them in the house rather than dragging them out on every single walk. Plus they walked to school by themselves.

It was still really hard. I would have ideally waited another year but the perfect, most bestest dog fell into our laps.

You literally said your kids moan when they get bitten, and you’ve told them they will get bitten??

Our youngest was 8 when we got ours
Luckily (!) he only wanted to bite me - I had to get slipper boots to protect my ankles and would often have to stand on the sofa for safety (then he got big enough to jump on the sofa)
We have no photos of him in the first 6-9 months as I was so scared of him
And then suddenly he stopped .... he became a big softie and is my best friend - he is asleep on my bed at the mo

Someone on here made the point to me of waiting until the kids are old enough not to always have to come out for walks which makes sense to me. Mine are almost that age anyway but obviously a way off for you!

I actually literally said 'They'll moan when they get bitten', i.e. talking about an event in the future. An event in the past would be 'They moan when they get bitten.'

I've told them they will get bitten to train them in how to avoid it. I.e. getting them to modify their behaviour around a tired puppy.

The level of comprehension on this site is woeful.

Good point about being able to leave the kids at home to go for a walk.

All good advice thank you