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The doghouse

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Original poster

Best age for children when getting a puppy

80 replies

snazzychair · 18/02/2023 11:35

I have two children, 2 and 5, will be 3 and 6 when we get a puppy.

Those of you with children, did you find it better to get a dog while the children were smaller and with less extra curricular activities on the weekend and evening? Or a bit older?

We will get one in the summer - I know how difficult the first year will be but at the moment the kids don't do any extra curricular activities, nothing in the evening and so I was thinking while we have no commitments we can get a puppy, train it and get used to family life with a dog and then when the kids are a bit older and might want to do sports then we might have a calmer dog to take with us to eg. Football, leave for a couple of hours in the evening etc.

What works for you?

OP posts:
floodbez1878 · 18/02/2023 19:41

We have a 5 year old Maltese and 3 year old dd, so she has grown up with him. Utter pain as he's always licking her and she's always all over him so I can't imagine what it would be like with a puppy.
We actually spoke to a rescue about getting a puppy as a friend for our dog..they advised age 5 plus for various reasons and we will be sticking to that.
Don't get anything too small either!

floodbez1878 · 18/02/2023 19:44

Would just point out that they are always supervised and she is very gentle with him as we were very careful and slow with interaction (he spends a lot of time at our elderly neighbours as their therapy dog) before I get any bite back!

Karwomannghia · 18/02/2023 19:51

Dd was 2 but I also had 2 teens. Our pup was great friends with the 2 year old. But the 2 yo has always been a very gentle soul (she’s 6 now and they’re still great friends).

overjean · 18/02/2023 19:52

That's the exact ages my kids were when we got our springer spaniel puppy. He's always been a gentle dog though and was 15 weeks when we got him so maybe past the nippy stage.

Worked out perfectly but the most important factor was my husband works from home so i have always had great freedom in terms of taking the dog out for walks because i could leave the kids at home. Now they're 6 and 9 so they often come with me on their bikes but the dog needs TONS of exercise so i still get up at 6am Monday - Friday and run him off lead for an hour. Doable because husbands is always there.

Pipsquiggle · 18/02/2023 19:54

We got a puppy when my DC were 9 and 6.

I would wait until your DC are at school TBH. The first year is pretty full on and I think you need your DC to be able to say clear instructions to the dog.

Choose your breed and breeder well. I would suggest being very confident on the temperament of the breed and making sure the breed has a similar household to yours

2 years on we love our dog, a great addition to the family

Original poster
snazzychair · 18/02/2023 20:49

So I work full time, mostly from home and flexible. Workplace is minutes from my home. Husband works from home a few times a week. I'm looking to reduce my hours sometime this year and we wouldn't get a dog unless I do this.

Lots to think about with some great points. We have time to think about this.

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 18/02/2023 21:07

Our DC were 8 and 6. DD2 was a bit scared in early days of the mouthing and jumping.

Newpeep · 18/02/2023 21:47

Our terrier pup could and did shred clothes with her puppy teeth. I looked like a torture victim so much so that a colleague was concerned for my welfare when he saw my arm 😂 Now at 6 months she’s brilliant - brings her toy to us when she wants to play as we constantly redirected. My husband wore wellies for weeks (he WFH so is with her more). She does sometimes get mouthy but it’s not biting. I can’t personally imagine that with a child under 5 but I know people do it.

Thinkbiglittleone · 18/02/2023 21:49

Our DS was near on 4 years old. He did follow the rules on the pups personal space, they are great together, they adore each other.
Perfect time for us all.

autienotnaughty · 18/02/2023 21:56

We waited til ds was 6. It's been hard , puppies are like a newborn and a toddler rolled onto one. Dogs 2 now, I wish we had waited another 3/4 years

Pipsquiggle · 18/02/2023 22:00

@snazzychair do you have an idea of which breed you would like?

You need to find a breed that suits your lifestyle and 100% great with DC.

Original poster
snazzychair · 18/02/2023 22:03

Pipsquiggle · 18/02/2023 22:00

@snazzychair do you have an idea of which breed you would like?

You need to find a breed that suits your lifestyle and 100% great with DC.

We are looking at the usual, cavapoo and cockerpoo. I do love Lurchers and greyhounds but they are just too big but I know they make wonderful family dogs.

I'm open to suggestions on other breeds too but when researching cavas and cockerpoos, they seemed to fit with family lives and a good size for the children who will be small for a good while.

OP posts:
Overrunwithlego · 18/02/2023 22:10

Having never had a dog before we waited until our youngest DC had nearly finished primary school - it was the Easter holidays she was in year 6, last year. That way the kids are self sufficient, can be left at home if they don’t want to come on a walk (which, surprise, surprise, they normally don’t) and we could give much more attention to the puppy.

Really lucky to have a friend who is a dog trainer so we had 121 training in the garden from 8 weeks before pup was even allowed outside. We both WFH which meant we could largely manage, but I took 3 weeks off work when we first got her - trying to work when we first got her would have been a nightmare. So again, whilst not ideal, at least the fact that I had to take some annual leave whilst the kids were at school is balanced by the fact that they are older and didn’t “need us” for childcare during their holidays when I then had to work.

Trainer really helped with toilet training tips as well - so we cracked that within about a month really. Returning to broken nights was a bit tough, but puppy generally settled again very quickly so I found I fell asleep again reasonably easily. Much harder work was the early mornings. Dear God she wouldn’t sleep beyond 5:30am for months and months, which is just about acceptable during the week but rubbish at the weekend. DH and I returned to the competitive tiredness of newborns! She is now a year and if she isn’t disturbed can sleep to about 7 or 7:30am.

She hasn’t been too bitey - but again, that is lots of training with regards what it is appropriate to chew, buying natural chews (aka the box of death) and so on.

The downside of waiting til the kids are older is that, having just got to the point where life was quite easy - we could go out of an evening, not have to plan days out etc, all of a sudden we have made our lives harder again.

Pipsquiggle · 18/02/2023 22:15

I had dogs growing up (headstrong terriers) and was willing to get virtually any breed my DH was interested in - he needed a lot of convincing. He did loads of research.

We went for an Australian labradoodle - essentially a labrador and poodle with spaniel breeds as well. They were /are bred in Australia to be therapy dogs - so wonderful temperaments.

Also went for a reputable 'hobby' breeder who brought the dogs up in their house so were used to DC. We met the mum and she was a therapy dog in primary schools so exactly the type of dog we were looking for. The dad was a 'stud' at another reputable breeder.

Just make sure you get a breed that suits you and a breeder that has a similar set up to you

Prescottdanni123 · 18/02/2023 22:40

@Boomboom22

It's a puppy, not a piranha. Puppies do nip while they are playing and teething, but they soon learn not too and they don't do any damage.

Ariela · 18/02/2023 23:47

8-10 depending on maturity of child.
Dogs are not toys/playthings, so need to have a sensible calm child around.

Steppen · 19/02/2023 00:14

4 years old is about right. Old enough to listen to you when you explain how to be with the pup but still young enough to really enjoy a puppy.

Kaylisa · 19/02/2023 02:04

My kids were almost 2, 5, 10, 12, 13 when we got our first dog and 5, 8, 13, 15, 17 when we got our second. Both springers.
Yes there was a lot of hard times but it’s been manageable. I love having dogs.

Tygertiger · 19/02/2023 09:06

Cavapoos and cockerpoos aren’t breeds, they’re crosses. They are massively overbred and it’s very very hard to distinguish between good breeders and puppy farms (they are very sophisticated operations and great at duping new owners). There’s nothing you’ll get from one which you wouldn’t get from a pedigree miniature poodle or bichon frise - or indeed a pedigree cavalier, but personally I wouldn’t have one as the breed is so fraught with serious health conditions. The crosses are often very highly strung. If you choose a pedigree you can look at a site such as Champdogs for a pup and only get one from breeders who do health testing for genetic illnesses. You’re more likely to get a healthy pup that way.

iaminevitable · 19/02/2023 09:10

We had a 4 year old and an 18 month old when we got our retriever puppy.

The puppy used to jump at the kids to lick their face but now she's learnt how to play without jumping up with excitement.

We do keep them separate most of the time (kids in playroom with a baby gate) but it hasn't been anywhere near as difficult / stressful as people said it would be!

bodgerthebadger · 19/02/2023 10:04

Ours were 8 and 10 when we got our retriever. At school and mostly in clubs which gave me more time to raise a puppy. They are also old enough to help out with dog responsibilities, including feeding, training and taking it out for a wee or poo in the garden. Helps massively to have the extra hands as owning a dog is a lot of work. My kids had also reached the age where they were less keen on going for long walks with us. Owning a dog has renewed their enthusiasm for walks as it's much more fun with the dog once it was old enough to join us. We also intentionally chose a breed that is known to be calm and gentle around kids. Ours was super calm and placid even as a small puppy. We've been lucky. I'm not sure I would have done it had my kids been any younger though. As others have pointed out, it depends on the maturity of the child. But even at 8, I was frequently having to drill into my child the need to be calm and sensible around the dog.

ivfbabymomma1 · 19/02/2023 10:10

We got a dachshund puppy when our child was 3 and had no issues at all. But I think it helped that we already had 2 older dogs (before child was born) so he knew his basic dog manners (stay away from sleeping dogs or when they are eating etc)

lovemypuppa · 19/02/2023 12:02

Boomboom22 · 18/02/2023 12:22

Jesus that is terrifying, do you really think it's OK that it bit your kid already? Look at those teeth, how on earth people think it's OK to have that as a pet I'll never know.

He's a puppy, they are baby teeth, and you can tell from the photo he's just playing. Saying that I would not have enjoyed the extra responsibility of any dog while my kids were younger.

Shannith · 19/02/2023 12:57

10+.

Shannith · 19/02/2023 13:13

Unless you want a farmed puppy please don't go for a poo cross. They are all farmed.

It's not just the puppy stage you have to think about. What about the teenage stage when they can still be bitey but have adult dog teeth.

I foster dogs and the last 2 I've had ended up in rescue because they were too unpredictable around the young children they lived with.

These are both lovely, lovely dogs. Wonderful, gentle dogs in my home of adults and a dog savvy 11 year old.

They were wound up/tormented/their boys it's ignored by children ranging from 3-10. And before you say not my children - it's just children and it's a hell of a lot to expect of children to curtail their natural behaviour/exuberance all the time because of a dog.

It's not fair on them or the dog.

And I knew one of the families well. On paper perfect owners, experienced, with huge garden and sensible children. But they are kids. And it was cute when it was a puppy biting, less so with a lab sized dog.

Consider the impact on your kids. Do you really want them to have to modify their behaviour? For a long time? What if it doesn't work?

Because then you'll end up having to surrender their pet to a rescue.