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The doghouse

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Original poster

Best age for children when getting a puppy

80 replies

snazzychair · 18/02/2023 11:35

I have two children, 2 and 5, will be 3 and 6 when we get a puppy.

Those of you with children, did you find it better to get a dog while the children were smaller and with less extra curricular activities on the weekend and evening? Or a bit older?

We will get one in the summer - I know how difficult the first year will be but at the moment the kids don't do any extra curricular activities, nothing in the evening and so I was thinking while we have no commitments we can get a puppy, train it and get used to family life with a dog and then when the kids are a bit older and might want to do sports then we might have a calmer dog to take with us to eg. Football, leave for a couple of hours in the evening etc.

What works for you?

OP posts:
UKNZKiwiBrit · 18/02/2023 13:32

Boomboom22 · 18/02/2023 12:22

Jesus that is terrifying, do you really think it's OK that it bit your kid already? Look at those teeth, how on earth people think it's OK to have that as a pet I'll never know.

Why do people who clearly know Jack shit about puppies post on these threads??

pinkorchid1 · 18/02/2023 13:51

Mine were 3 and 5 when we got our puppy. It was a difficult few months at first with the toilet trying and nipping etc. But we were very firm with the puppy and nipping didn't last long at all. My 5 year old was a little nervous of dogs before we got ours but wasn't fazed by our puppy after a few days and loves her so much.
We crate trained ours from day 1 so the puppy can nap away from the kids and learn to be calm. And also keep pup and kids apart when you need to be in a different room.
Now puppy is a year and a half and is calm, quiet and such a great addition to the family. It obviously really depends on the dog though. We did a lot of training but I think ours has a naturally calm, placid temperament thankfully.
We have strict rules in place that I remind the kids of regularly- never touch the dog when she's sleeping or in her bed and never to go near her when she is eating.

Only downside is often having to drag the kids along on a dog walk.

Original poster
snazzychair · 18/02/2023 14:15

pinkorchid1 · 18/02/2023 13:51

Mine were 3 and 5 when we got our puppy. It was a difficult few months at first with the toilet trying and nipping etc. But we were very firm with the puppy and nipping didn't last long at all. My 5 year old was a little nervous of dogs before we got ours but wasn't fazed by our puppy after a few days and loves her so much.
We crate trained ours from day 1 so the puppy can nap away from the kids and learn to be calm. And also keep pup and kids apart when you need to be in a different room.
Now puppy is a year and a half and is calm, quiet and such a great addition to the family. It obviously really depends on the dog though. We did a lot of training but I think ours has a naturally calm, placid temperament thankfully.
We have strict rules in place that I remind the kids of regularly- never touch the dog when she's sleeping or in her bed and never to go near her when she is eating.

Only downside is often having to drag the kids along on a dog walk.

How lovely. This is what I'm hoping for. Glad this worked out for you.
Which breed do you have?

Our two are good with instruction when it comes to dogs we see out and about. We have taken them to puppy hours to see how they interact with the dogs. When we see dogs out and about they know the drill and how to behave.
We will be strict too with giving the puppy space etc and absolutely not letting the kids be alone with the dog etc

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 18/02/2023 14:40

I wouldn't get a puppy until your youngest is toilet trained and in school.

They are hard work. They bite, they pee and poo all over the floor, they jump up, they steal, they chew, they can be destructive.

Do you really want to be toilet training your youngest and the puppy at the same time? Will you cope if the puppy needs the toilet at the same time as one of your children is vomiting or needs their nappy changing, or if the chooses the moment your child is on the potty to steal your glasses, or the remote, or a shoe?

As a PP has said you also need to think about walks and days out. What are you going to do with the puppy when you want to go to the zoo, or a theme park, or the beach in the middle of summer? You can't take them with you and they can't be left alone all day, so you'll need to organise care well in advance.

Do you work? What are you going to do with the puppy during the day? What about if you need to work late, go to parents evening etc?

Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2023 14:43

Our youngest was 8 (but the size of an average 11 year old) and he coped ok but debt much like ddog due to biting etc.
I think with hindsight I would have waited until he was Secondary age

HeartInDrive · 18/02/2023 14:46

Getting a dog with very young children isn’t a good decision imo.

We got our first dogs, 2 young rescues, when our youngest was 10.

Saying they’re sensible with other peoples dogs for short amounts of time is nothing like them living with dogs.

Deedippy · 18/02/2023 15:00

Reading this thread I'm starting to think we didn't leave it long enough. Youngest is nearly 5 and we bring ours home next weekend. He's a cavapoo. I would've waited a few more years but older daughter who is the one who has been pleading with us for years has just turned 13 so didn't want to leave it too much later for her. Also I'm on a career break so felt like the right time as have the time for sleepless nights and constant outside visits. We plan to crate train and have our local dog behaviourist coming round to meet pup and do some work with all 4 of us the day after we get him home.

The last 2 months have been having constant chats with the 4 year old about what she can and can't do. Luckily we have two living spaces downstairs which I'm hoping will make it more manageable. She's a really bright 4 year old and great at listening and following instructions but I have no intention of leaving them alone at all.

May be back on here in a few weeks agreeing with all the posters who are saying at least teen!!!

userxx · 18/02/2023 15:04

Boomboom22 · 18/02/2023 12:22

Jesus that is terrifying, do you really think it's OK that it bit your kid already? Look at those teeth, how on earth people think it's OK to have that as a pet I'll never know.

Terrifying ? You don't get out much do you.

GinBlossom94 · 18/02/2023 15:13

My youngest was 11 months old and we got 2 pups, the older 2 were 4 & 6. Nobody was bitten, everybody followed the rules. We still have one pup with us and she is about to turn 13, they all have an amazing bond

Original poster
snazzychair · 18/02/2023 15:28

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 18/02/2023 14:40

I wouldn't get a puppy until your youngest is toilet trained and in school.

They are hard work. They bite, they pee and poo all over the floor, they jump up, they steal, they chew, they can be destructive.

Do you really want to be toilet training your youngest and the puppy at the same time? Will you cope if the puppy needs the toilet at the same time as one of your children is vomiting or needs their nappy changing, or if the chooses the moment your child is on the potty to steal your glasses, or the remote, or a shoe?

As a PP has said you also need to think about walks and days out. What are you going to do with the puppy when you want to go to the zoo, or a theme park, or the beach in the middle of summer? You can't take them with you and they can't be left alone all day, so you'll need to organise care well in advance.

Do you work? What are you going to do with the puppy during the day? What about if you need to work late, go to parents evening etc?

My two year old is toilet trained :)

Yes we can't take the dog out but we have people nearby that would look after the puppy. All good points thank you

OP posts:
pinkorchid1 · 18/02/2023 15:39

"How lovely. This is what I'm hoping for. Glad this worked out for you.
Which breed do you have?"

We have a bernedoodle which I'm scared to say as there seems to be a lot of hate on here for dogs that aren't either pure bred or rescue! But lucky for us her temperament seems more Bernese than poodle which makes her more chilled out I think. I definitely had 'puppy regret' for the first few months I admit as it was hard work. But she chilled out so much from about 6 months old onwards and is just an all round easy going dog. We couldn't have wished for a better family dog!

Wolfiefan · 18/02/2023 15:43

School age. Puppies are bitey little monsters who need constant attention. I wouldn’t have one with a toddler.
Plus unless you get a rescue or go to a puppy farmer/commercial breeder you are unlikely to be able to time a puppy so precisely. Good breeders don’t have loads of dogs and don’t have too many litters from the ones they have.

Emanresu9 · 18/02/2023 15:43

It’s the walking the dog that is hard. A puppy doesn’t need much walking so not too bad but then when it’s a year old+ the deman L’s increase. A good hour twice a day is a lot of walking for small children. So you either need a spouse to sit and stay with the children whilst you walk the dog or children capable of walking 2 hours a day come rain or shine!

Disneygirl37 · 18/02/2023 15:48

Wait until your youngest is at least 7 or 8

gettingalifttothestation · 18/02/2023 15:55

Young kids and puppies don't mix well. I would wait till at least both are at school

EdithStourton · 18/02/2023 15:55

We got a puppy when our youngest was a toddler, middle at nursery, oldest at school. And, amazingly, we all survived and all the DC have grown up into massive dog-lovers.

Yes, it was hard work. Yes, the odd toy suffered a nasty injury. Yes, is was hard work walking the dog when the DC had to come too. And yes, the dog wasn't terribly well-trained - but had okay recall and was fantastic with the DC.

It was totally worth it. DH and I had grown up with dogs and had both been desperate to have a dog for bloody years. We made it work.

shinynewapple22 · 18/02/2023 16:10

Boomboom22 · 18/02/2023 12:22

Jesus that is terrifying, do you really think it's OK that it bit your kid already? Look at those teeth, how on earth people think it's OK to have that as a pet I'll never know.

When a young puppy bites it's just 'mouthing' ie learning about the world with its mouth and needs to learn what is acceptable and what isn't. It's nowhere near the same as an aggressive adult dog biting someone .

Tirnanogg · 18/02/2023 16:38

Mine were newly 3 and nearly 5, and I now appreciate how important it was that they could follow instructions.

We were lucky in that the puppy only ever bit me, and the children were naturally cautious and gave her space.

It would be easier if I could leave them at home alone when I walk the dog, or if they could enjoy the longer walks she needs, so from that point of view older would be better. On the other hand, she gives me an excuse for some much needed solo time!

Spacemonkey2016 · 18/02/2023 16:52

I have a 6 year old, just turned 3 year old and an almost 5 month old labrador puppy. The puppy has been absolutely fine with the kids, isn't very jumpy, not particularly land-sharky (well, he is a bit with me, but not them!) But it is a lot of work. The day to day reality of which more so than I had anticipated. My 3 year old was absolutely not up for rainy, cold, walks. Luckily my Mum lives round the corner and is happy to play with the kids while I walk the puppy. Days out are obviously planned in advance anyway, so getting care for him is okay (again, luckily I have family willing to look after him) but spontaneous outings are a no go. Things like staying out for a bit longer as you're having a good day, or adding on going out for dinner. When the kids are in bed, gone is relaxing with TV/a book, instead it is puppy training time.

Luckily I WFH, so I can be with him most of the time, but it is full on. I can see why people recommend waiting until youngest in school. That would feel a breeze, I think. But 6 and 3 is doable if you are willing to put the hard work in.

hiredandsqueak · 18/02/2023 17:02

Got ours when youngest was eleven seemed a pretty good time tbh. She had self control to leave it alone and to put its needs before her wants. Puppies are awful, with two little more than toddlers it will be a nightmare. You need to be able to take pup into the garden at the drop of a hat, you need to be sure that there is nothing left around that it might chew and swallow, puppy teeth are like needles, it hurts, you aren't going to be able to get little ones not to scream and run away which will hype the pup up to nip even more. To train the pup it needs your attention you won't be able to do that with two little ones to watch as well. You need to rethink your plans.

Leafytrees · 18/02/2023 17:12

We got a puppy when the children were 8 and 3. Even though we've always had dogs, I've been shocked by how hard it is having a puppy with smaller children (we got the last dog before the children were born so navigated the puppy stage child free). New dog is now 8 months and it's a little easier but I wish we'd waited until the 3 year old could come for a proper dog walk (in reality about age 6) and enjoy it rather than finding it a chore.

I'd also caution against getting a dog while you've no extra curricular activities on, as these could end up pushing ddog out when they creep in. Best time to consider getting one is when you've got all the activities on the go because then you can figure whether you can fit a dog in. You might find you want to do more with the children as they grow older and can do more, and having a dog is pretty limiting. It's very much divide and conquer now here rather than us all doing things as a family.

Leafytrees · 18/02/2023 17:14

Oh yes, and think realistically about whether a puppy would be able to have the run of the house. Even at 8 months ours still can't as he'll inhale toys whole. He's limited to a toy-free kitchen and dining room so he doesn't kill himself eating little toys.

Original poster
snazzychair · 18/02/2023 17:29

Leafytrees · 18/02/2023 17:14

Oh yes, and think realistically about whether a puppy would be able to have the run of the house. Even at 8 months ours still can't as he'll inhale toys whole. He's limited to a toy-free kitchen and dining room so he doesn't kill himself eating little toys.

Yes absolutely this, it would be a change in how the kids play to ensure the safety of the pup

OP posts:
EyeBetOnSky · 18/02/2023 19:24

Mine are aged 12 and 5. I waited until my youngest started school. Our puppy is 12 weeks old and while I’d braced myself for it to be hard I really had no idea just how hard it would be. I’d say that my youngest really is only just old enough.
The biting is awful. The constant repeating of ‘please stop being giddy’ (to my youngest) is more tedious than I can begin to imagine. The broken nights are tough.
But there are lovely moments too.

wetotter · 18/02/2023 19:31

I do know an amazing woman who got a labrador puppy about the same time as she had a baby, on the grounds it was going to be elbow deep in shit and broken nights anyhow. She made it look effortless.

She is not typical!

I would wait until at least after the youngest has done a complete term at school, as I think DC become a lot better at following instructions around then. But ideally it would be later - 7+. But I can see why people might not want to wait that long.