Emmerdale thread ****NO SPOILERS****

[MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]

Sorry! Couldn’t think of a witty title- it’s all too awful.

Christ the writers have watched misery one two many times haven't they

The fuck?

Ffs

Okay scriptwriters. I’ll bite.

No med stock checks at the docs or hospital?

I hope they rebuild the pub and get a new non-evil family.

She's got her own dealer @FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge which comes in handy when you want to drug your sister.

So did meena just give manpreet a massive shot of heroin?

I’m kinda hoping Marks and Spencer’s have the same lax security tomorrow. I’m going to help myself to a selection of their nicer cheeses. See how far I get.

Granted it won’t knock me out but I’m hoping to grow a sizeable food baby next weekend.

FFS not five msinutes since she was keeping David a prisoner, she's doing exactly the same with Manpreet. This is beyond tedious.

Tracy must have had the shortest maternity leave in history. Kerry was off for about a year and Debbie isn't coming back.

Speaking of Kerry, it the plastic gangster story over and done with without us seeing the mysterious dad (can't even remember his name). Kerry seems to have been absorbed back into village life and Chloe is always there - I thought their lives were in mortal danger, or has that thread been forgotten about. I don't seem to remember it coming to any sort of conclusion,

Ah. I forgot about the heroin. But she seriously wasn’t going to inject her with heroin at the hospital was she

Sorry forgot the ?

I think the heroin bag was buried under the Woolpack.

Re Kerry - I seem to recall Chloe simply got in touch with mystery Dad in jail and told him to call the dogs off. Hey presto - end of storyline.

I think that must have been another storyline that was binned off suddenly. Why couldn’t they have binned it off by having Kerry and Chloe go on the run? Or just away. Anywhere else.

So tonight I caught the end of the Ab Fab 2003 Christmas special. Patsy's sister Jackie has a voodoo doll which she uses to make Patsy sick and then gets her to sign a will leaving everything to her before trying to murder her with a heroin overdose but Patsy kills her with it instead.

Oh a conversation about finding the killer…that Meena just happens to over hear. Oh hang on it’s the misery/ab fab writers again, perhaps she might bop Rishi over the head with the Heroin decanter.

Oh Jesus Christ. Seriously I thought it couldn’t get worse than SHE turns up.

And Vanessa just knew they were having a moment without hearing anything

Charity and Vanessa split up ages ago. Why is Vanessa being a knob?

They'll probably put them back together

Speed it up there Bob for fucks sake.

IBIZA???

I think even Rishi could tell the difference between a human voice and a dog!

Kyle is as chatty as ever

So utterly unbelievably sick of all these “perfectly timed” moments. It’s a soap! It’s not a blockbuster movie. It’s supposed to be normal village life.

Yeah I'd leave her too.