I love Cabaret. I adore Oti.
But Karen would have been my Sally.
Aj and Kai? Lovely. Once or twice though something looked a bit off with her feet. I know nowt though.
You’d have got no leg flashing like that on TSOM.
No tears though mate. I tire of tears. I’m not sure there were any though and if there were Lisa and the team have got it going on because I saw no smudge. I tire of the emosh bit too. A bit meh.
Rhys i enjoyed - it was frantic but full of joy. I thought he would not only get on my nellies but take up residence on them. I look forward to seeing him now. Even if he sometimes looks like me trying to navigate black ice. And Namce went emosh. Meh.
Tamy? Emosh. Sake. It made me think of my siblings. I couldn’t be prouder of them. I love them. And just thinking of them in that way makes me snotty and the lovely maireas will tell you what a hard hearted arse I (mostly) am.
Now seeing as I started watching the dance half bubbling, I was strangely unmoved. I did want to be moved but I didn’t feel it. Sorry.
That waft had a whift to it. It may not have been shite but it was a deeply eggy pump.
Rose and Gio? Loved it. But this is my favourite dance and someone could make an arse of it and I’d still be tickled with it. It was a tiny little arse hair of a mistake and it was a shame it cost them the 10s but no faux emosh mince so you’ve a 10 from me.
JJ - back to the ruddy vertigo inducing cgi. Spoils it a bit for me guvnor.
Couldn’t love this either. Not sure why because I love love LOVE the song. I know there were bits that weren’t quite right but they are losing their shine. I wish they weren’t.
Johannes looked as though he was proper going to sob but plastered a smile on. I can’t be doing with emosh mince but that looked real. 
Tilly and the one who will never know anything about my home.
Och I didn’t love it either. I was really really really distracted by the pair of them having no necks. They looked like two Felonious Gru twins living it large. Not worth 40. Not for me anyhoo.
Dan and Nad? It wasn’t bad but it was the gentlest little Charleston I’ve seen on strictly.
Tess said it was full on. Aye. Full on cake. But I didn’t hate it.
Cynthia was amazing.
Motsi is beautiful as ever.
Why is she wearing Rudi from the Mighty Boosh’s barnet?