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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Do you hate the way they dress?

55 replies

Tumbledryer · 06/08/2015 17:24

Everything dd16 wears has to be skin tight and if its a skirt or dress, just barely covering her backside and there has to be the maximum amount of cleavage showing. She is a beautiful girl and does not need to draw attention to herself like this. She is also quite curvy but it makes her look much bigger than she actually is. Of course I cannot mention any of this to her as I get accused of calling her fat when I do but I worry she is drawing the wrong kind of attention to herself by "flaunting" her body. This sounds really old fashioned and prudish I know but that's the way I feel. Should I just keep quiet and let her get on with it as any "advice" I might give will not go down too well. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2015 17:28

'Drawing the wrong sort of attention' sounds like you would blame her if a man attacked her.

Regarding your general question - I suspect that every generation of teenagers has parents despairing of their outfits. And I think you have to let your dd develop her own sense of style - even if it's not what you would wear or what you'd choose for her.

Gymbob · 06/08/2015 17:29

no advice from me sorry. me and dh agree ours goes out looking like a trollop

bikeandrun · 06/08/2015 17:31

I agree with SDT but I also think watching a bit of snog, marry, avoid ( think it is still on I player) helps a teenager on their way to developing their sense style!

Gymbob · 06/08/2015 17:32

SDT, knew it wouldn't take long for your first comment to pop up from somewhere

usualsuspect333 · 06/08/2015 17:32

I expect your parents didn't like the way you dressed as a teenager.

'twas ever thus.

perplexedpirate · 06/08/2015 17:32

'Flaunting her body'?!
Do you write for the sidebar of shame?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2015 17:33

Gymbob - I assume that is a dig.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2015 17:35

"T'was ever thus" - exactly what I thought, usual.

balletgirlmum · 06/08/2015 17:36

No, I think ds looks lovely most of the time. She's into skater dresses at the moment or skater skirts with crop tops or skinny jeans.

I have to admit if she was into the Hollister type stuff or knicker showing dresses I might feel differently.

bikeandrun · 06/08/2015 17:39

Balletgirl do you mean dd? saying that most cross dressing teens look fab too!

balletgirlmum · 06/08/2015 17:40

Yes lol! My phone insists on correcting dd to ds all the time!

Sparklingbrook · 06/08/2015 17:46

I agree with usual. When I was 16 I had a skirt that was incredibly short and wore very high heels all the time I expect my Mum and Dad were . I was also out nightclubbing every night.

As for 'drawing the wrong kind of attention' I take that to mean attention from people that like to ogle teenage girls who dress scantily, nothing more.

BackforGood · 06/08/2015 17:47

Well, don't lump all teens together - many choose not to look like you describe, but, overall I'd agree with most that - whereas I don't like the look you describe, I suspect every generation of teens' clothes have been disliked by their parents

babymouse · 06/08/2015 17:48

A lot of them are dressing like they are in the 90s - so it'd be a bit hypocritical to say I do.

Sparklingbrook · 06/08/2015 17:49

I only have DSs but looking at their FB feeds some of the 16 year old girls dress exactly as the OP describes before doing duck face selfies.

BastardGoDarkly · 06/08/2015 17:50

She won't dress like that for long.

Fwiw I think I'd hate it too.

DoubleDeClutchMuch · 06/08/2015 18:04

It's the dark eyebrows that bother me more than the clothes!!

Angelto5 · 06/08/2015 18:05

I personally can't stand young lads walking around with their trousers/jeans/joggers hanging under their arse cheeks!!!

What makes them think I'm remotely interested in what brand/colour underwear they have on?!?!

Sparklingbrook · 06/08/2015 18:07

It's all skinny jeans on teen boys around here. No arses/underwear hanging out at all. So tight they couldn't slip down at all.

DurhamDurham · 06/08/2015 18:12

I've two daughters and they are both of the Converse shoes, skinny jeans/skirts with black tights/shorts with black tights/floaty dress with boots brigade and I think they look fab....they carry off combinations that I would look ridiculous in

specialsubject · 06/08/2015 18:13

neckline and hemline nearly meeting isn't a good look even on the skinny, but fortunately we (I assume?) are in a country with no dress code.

The 'are there no mirrors in your house?' look is a part of being a teenager. I speak as one of the legwarmers, green eyeshadow and jumpsuit generation.

leave her to it unless asked, or unless she is trying to get a job in which case something more appropriate is required.

LovelySpread · 06/08/2015 18:14

I like how DD 14 dresses, shorts over tights, check shirts and emo hair and accessories. She's not into showing flesh at all. At her age i went out wearing a 70s charity shop maxi dress, umbrella decorated with badges, purple tights and lace gloves and I thought I was the shit.

FortyCoats · 06/08/2015 18:34

I have a 15yo DD who's off to a teen nightclub tonight. She's wearing a 'barely there' skirt that just about covers her ass and is low enough to show her navel piercing. Her top is like a bra with a small bit of material sewn on for length but even that doesn't bring it down to her navel.

My mother tried to impress upon her the 'importance' of not 'dressing to attract the wrong attention'
Fuck that!! I'm not raising a girl to think, how she dresses emits some signal to the depraved and/or ignorant that she's 'asking for it'! Dd knows well, as I've told her a million times, she can wear what she wants, all the latest trend fashion disasters, the same thing her pals are wearing and nobody has a right to touch her. As far as insinuating she's a bitch/tramp/slut (the girls actually use these names more than the lads ) I tell her that says more about those people and the fucked up way society deals with sexual assault crimes than it does about her ideas of fashion and self-expression.

She's going to freeze her little ass off but she's going to have fun and I'm confident in her ability to tell anyone who approaches her as an 'easy' target because of her clothes to take a hike.

Her everyday clothes are skinny jeans or leggings, hoodies, crop tops, cardigans and converse. They all look the same but they like sameness and fitting in and keeping up with trends and why shouldn't they? They'll only have their teenage years once

I'll keep photographic evidence though just to piss her off in years to come

Original poster

Tumbledryer · 06/08/2015 18:48

Fortycoats, I like what you say. It it exactly what did has said in the past and I am going to try and think differently about things as I can't really do anything about it. I've got to lighten up and let her get on with it. Thanks everyone for your comments.

OP posts:

FortyCoats · 06/08/2015 18:55

That's just my opinion tumble

Stick around for a few more perspectives. Take the best of each and then trust your gut on it.

At her age, you still have a say in what you believe to be appropriate clothing and you have to parent as you see fit just please don't mention how her 'curvy' body looks in anything. She'll be developing her own sense of self at the moment and all that is necessary is that she's comfortable in her own skin.

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