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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should I allow my 14yo dd to wear makeup?

87 replies

Rachel422 · 27/05/2013 17:08

Hello everyone,
My 14yo dd has been nagging at me for the past few weeks about wearing makeup. I initially said no and that she was too young but then she put up an argument about how she wouldn't wear anything heavy, maybe just concealer, mascara and blush. It is the fact that she said "maybe" which means that if I say yes, she'll have free reign and the whole "natural" look will suddenly disappear and she'll end up looking like an orange panda with bright red lips (this is what many of the girls at her school look like ). I left it as a "no" but know I'm starting to contemplate it. Maybe I should let her grow up and experiment a bit.
What would you do? Is she too young? Has anyone been in this situation before? How do I handle it?

Many thanks in advance

OP posts:

SirChenjin · 27/05/2013 17:12

I think, at 14, you let go a little bit and say yes - on the understanding that she does not go down the orange panda with lipstick on look.

acceptableinthe80s · 27/05/2013 17:15

At 14 i would have done it with or without parental permission but then i was a bit of a rebel
Experimenting with make-up is all part of being a teenager, just be glad it's not the 80's where pink eyeshadow and frosted lipstick were in!

frissonpink · 27/05/2013 17:20

I would let her, but go shopping together for it. What about a tinted moisturiser, some concealer and blusher and mascara? that's all she needs really (well, i don't think any 14 yr old actually needs make up, but I'm sure she's under social pressure to fit in!)

Rimmel would be a good place to start.

My mum said no and I stole her heavy foundation behind her back and went trundling off to my friend's house (aged 14) looking orange. She then saw the error of her ways!!

seeker · 27/05/2013 17:20

Wow.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

And probably have a look at any other things you're not letting her do, and make sure she isn't older than you think she is!

NandH · 27/05/2013 17:21

I wore make up at 14...I also got facial/navel piercings at 14 and a tattoo at 16...

I don't have the piercings anymore, was just a phase!

I never asked my parents, its my body count yourself lucky she asked!

obviously I'm going to say allow her to wear make up, but advise her what to wear and go make up shopping with her :)

FannyFifer · 27/05/2013 17:24

At 14, of course, I wouldn't even have thought to ask at that age.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/05/2013 17:24

Yes, absolutely. My two started wearing a bit of mascara at about 13. Now dd1 (18) experiements quite a lot and dd2 (16) rarely bothers at all.

If I wear you, I'd buy her a mascara and a lip gloss to start with - Benefit or Mac if you want to spoil her or maybe Bourgois or Rimmel if you'd rather start off cheaper. :)

I think 14 is a good age to 'allow' various things that you might still feel a bit odd about when they're thirteen tbh. Eg: do you let her go to town with her friends / go to gigs?

Moxiegirl · 27/05/2013 17:24

I'm quite shocked at this! Not saying 14yo should wear makeup but to not allow it?

GetOrfMoiLand · 27/05/2013 17:25

Yes. I think it is far better to give permission for something like this which is perfectly natural for a child ofn14 to want to do, than out your foot down over something which is, in the grand scheme of things, completely inconsequential.

I know you are probably worried about her looking like someone who works behind the counter at Estée Lauder, but being on her side about such things I think all pay dividends. If you make it taboo it is something she is likely to sneak around and do anyway behind your back.

She is the right age to start experimenting with make up IMO. My dd started wearing it at that age, went for a few months raiding my make up bag,and now at 17 never wears it at all, except on big nights out (and I do her make up for her because her application is clown like )

Flicktheswitch · 27/05/2013 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littleturkish · 27/05/2013 17:29

I would book her in to a make up lesson with a decent counter at a department store. Buy things for her like a decent male up remover and moisturiser with sunblock in it. Teach her about skin care, not messing too much with her skin and protecting it from sun damage etc

Does she need foundation? Is her skin spotty or discoloured? I'd focus on boosting her confidence rather than just giving her free reign of makeup.

ClaraOswald · 27/05/2013 17:38

say yes, but only on the proviso it's not to be done for/in school and that she makes sure she learns how to treat her skin properly- no use applying expensive paint if the wall is uncared for.

Book her in to be taught how to do it properly and naturally and that she uses her own money to pay for it. Make up is not an essential toiletry like toothpaste of shampoo or deodorant.

Good on her for asking- I was never interested, but my sister was wearing really heavy stuff early on and now she does regret it. I wear a bit of make up when I go out and had it done professionally for my own and then my sisters wedding.

Good luck.

NettoSuperstar · 27/05/2013 17:43

Yes.
My DD is 11, and off to high school in August.
She's not fussed about make up, but that will be one battle I'm not fighting, even if she looks orange, her choice and she'll outgrow it.

Weegiemum · 27/05/2013 17:45

My dd1 is 13.5

She says she were mascara (and I suspect a little eyeliner) and hats it. Other parents who forbid it seem to get the entire mask!

Startail · 27/05/2013 17:47

Yes.
I'm also amazed she asked. Both my DDs 12 and 15 wear make up occasionally. Not foundation and not for school (well not obviously for school, DH see's them out the door and he wouldn't notice).

Yes, to buying it themselves.

GW297 · 27/05/2013 17:48

I would also let her and book her a makeup lesson.

Smilehappy · 27/05/2013 17:55

Yes,

GraduallyGoingInsane · 27/05/2013 18:03

I have 4 DDs.

My rules have always been that once they got to secondary school then outside of school I will let them wear makeup as long as its not too OTT for the occasion. Glittery eyeshadow, lashings of eyeliner, lipgloss, all fine for a party. Going to church or to see Grandma, best stick with mascara and clear gloss.

In school I will let them cover up spots with concealer and a bit of loose powder. Once they get to 13 or so I'm fine with mascara. Anything more than that is too much for school, particularly as the school says no makeup allowed. They will try for eyeliner at times but they know if I see it they'll be attacked with a wet wipe.

My youngest is 10 and she has worn a smudge of her sisters' peachy gold sparkly eyeshadow or a slick of clear gloss for parties when she's asked. Most of the time she's not bothered, probably because its not the forbidden fruit.

I think a blanket no at 14 is a bit mean and might push your DD away - if you say no she is far more likely to go behind your back, and then with no guidance she will be more likely to be one of the orange crew. I've talked to my DD about the pros of tinted moisturisers, BB creams and loose powder over heavy foundations and drilled it into them that heavy liquid and cream foundations are designed for the more mature lady. If left to their own devices they're much more likely to just grab whatever is available without considering shades or skin types.

extracrunchy · 27/05/2013 18:15

Ugh let her if she really wants to but make sure she values herself in more ways than on appearance (I'm sure you do!)

Hulababy · 27/05/2013 18:19

I think 14y is fine.
Show her how to apply it properly - maybe even treat her to a lesson.
Show her photos of make up gone wrong compared to nicely applied.
Rules for school/day wear - sensible amount, etc.

My DD is only 11y but she and her friends are all allowed a little it of lipstick and eye colour, and they are still in primary school. I figure it is usually best not to ban things. Often if something is forbidden then they go OTT when you're not watching.

seeker · 27/05/2013 18:23

I guarantee that all her fronds are wearing it and she feels kid dish and left out. It is ridiculous to ban make up at 14!

ChasingStaplers · 27/05/2013 18:27

Yes. I started wearing make up and shaving and plucking my eyebrows without my parents' permission because they wouldn't let me.

Result? Terrible spotty skin covered with orange thick pan stick, complete with white neck, black panda eyes with claggy eyelashes and awful heather shimmer lipstick. I also cut my legs to shreds and plucked my eyebrows to oblivion.

Book her an appointment with one of the more 'cool' make up counters (maybe let her choose which one) and give them instructions not to go too heavy as she's never worn make up before.

I wish someone had done this for me!

CaptainJamesTKirk · 27/05/2013 18:28

At 14!!! Yes let her wear some make up, she is 14, not 4!!!! Go shopping for some nice quality stuff and show her how to apply it well.

LynetteScavo · 27/05/2013 18:37

At 14 does she have no pocket money of her own? Hasn't she already spent some on make up?

Avoid foundation most 14yo's don't really need it....and if she really want's foundation show her how to avoid a tide mark. I wish my mother had shown me how to apply make-up, rather than disproving, and letting me look like an over made freak.

7yo DD and I play "make over" where I do her hair, cut her nails, (paint her toe nails if it's school holidays) put cream on her....when she is older, we'll experiment with mascara, etc. Because it's fun, and I don't want her to shave her legs/fake tan herself or whatever with out my help. That's what I'm here for.

JenaiMorris · 27/05/2013 19:12

Out of interest, what's the fixation people have with "natural" make up? If there's ever an age when you don't need misty buff blusher and are less likely to look ridiculous with neon eyeliner, it's your teens, surely?

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