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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should I allow my 14yo dd to wear makeup?

87 replies

Rachel422 · 27/05/2013 17:08

Hello everyone,
My 14yo dd has been nagging at me for the past few weeks about wearing makeup. I initially said no and that she was too young but then she put up an argument about how she wouldn't wear anything heavy, maybe just concealer, mascara and blush. It is the fact that she said "maybe" which means that if I say yes, she'll have free reign and the whole "natural" look will suddenly disappear and she'll end up looking like an orange panda with bright red lips (this is what many of the girls at her school look like ). I left it as a "no" but know I'm starting to contemplate it. Maybe I should let her grow up and experiment a bit.
What would you do? Is she too young? Has anyone been in this situation before? How do I handle it?

Many thanks in advance

OP posts:

seeker · 27/05/2013 19:18

Absolutely!!

If you want a dewy, natural look when you're 14, you just don't wear make up!

seeker · 27/05/2013 19:19

I'm also smiling to myself about all these 14 year olds gratefully accepting their mother's guidance on the application of make up.........

Flicktheswitch · 27/05/2013 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand · 27/05/2013 19:24

NO to the make up lesson. Your teens are made for discovery. They need to wear the hideous make up trends so they can look back and cringe in 20 years time like we do.

And also they shouldn't be given decent make up like mac etc.They need to spend a few years slumming in in Rimmel and Miss Sporty before being able to afford the decent stuff so they will appreciate it

I also don't think most teens would give two hoots for their mother's advice re natural looks. I think the young make up look today is decidedly unnatural, like the 80s. Yes we may not like it but then again I don't think we are supposed to.

teenagetantrums · 27/05/2013 19:25

yes of course, my DD has been wearing make up since 11 I think, She is 16 now she does not go over top, she spends her pocket money on anything she wants and grandparents buy her those massive kits for xmas. Make up is a battle not worth arguing over really, they are not allowed it for school so its only the weekend she wears it.

burberryqueen · 27/05/2013 19:26

yes you should allow her, I am surprised at the question!

sjuperyoni · 27/05/2013 19:28

I was 13 when i started, never asked permission - dsis took ne to superdrug and i spent my pocket money.

I'm shocked your dd asked and even mire so that you said no tbth.

TheBookofRuth · 27/05/2013 19:31

I was 12, I think, when I got my first make up. My mum and I went shopping for it together and I remember it perfectly - it was from no17, and consisted of a silver and sparkly pink eye shadow duo, a sparkly pink blusher, and a sparkly pink lipstick (it was the 80s!)

I thought I was the bees knees. It only ever got worn on special occasions though, along with my Body Shop Tea Rose perfume.

I think 14 is plenty old enough.

Diamondcassis · 27/05/2013 19:32

Definitely let her. Let her buy it too, without you if you can bear it, she'll feel great. And don't send her for a lesson, they teach them to slather it on.

exoticfruits · 27/05/2013 19:39

I am always amazed at the naivety that mother says 'no' and DD complies! Surely at 14yrs she has money and can buy it herself -put it on and scrub it off as necessary?

exoticfruits · 27/05/2013 19:40

Sorry-the last bit meant that if you refuse to allow it she can make sure she only wears it when you don't see her.

beltsandsuspenders · 27/05/2013 19:41

as a sister of someone who went a bit off the rails when she was this age, I would want to understand a bit further including what is behind this.

Wishiwasanheiress · 27/05/2013 19:44

At 14 I was allowed clear mascara (rimmel) cover stick (rimmel) brown/black eyeliner (rimmel), lip gloss. That was for 'daily' basis to learn how to apply. My mum did a whole scrap page of natural faces for me to copy.

She then did a second page and covered it in 'looks' blues, greens, stage looks, pop looks (eg David Bowie!) and I had a bag we played with together on rainy days or before a party.

I learnt that make up had its place so to speak. To use it for dress up and party and normally just to add to confidence I had. Looking back my mum showed me that make up added to me. But wasn't better than me. It needed me to be confident etc or it didn't work.

Now I can take it or leave it. I copy looks and stuff still, I'm just always me with it or without it. So many of my friends were taught they were better with it and that's not the right lesson.

extracrunchy · 27/05/2013 19:49

I think she's old enough and likely to do it anyway even if you forbid it. But I think it's weird showing someone so young how to apply it "properly", as if she needs it to look a certain way. I mean if she wants to, fine, but at that age actively encouraging and directing her is just teaching her she needs to paint herself to be "better". Don't get me wrong, I wear it, and I wouldn't try to stop my daughter wearing it, but I certainly wouldn't want her to feel painting herself to achieve a certain look was important or something to aspire to. At that age it should be nothing more than self expression, a bit of fun and experimentation. Turning it into some kind of lesson just seems so wrong.

Beamur · 27/05/2013 19:52

Yes at 14. I wouldn't have thought to ask at that age either - I had a baby sitting job, my own money and spent it on black eyeliner and glittery stuff.

LynetteScavo · 27/05/2013 19:54

seeker, my DD will follow my guidance on make up. There will be no goth look, or orange face with fuchsia lips for her! Oh no!

seeker · 27/05/2013 19:58

ThenWeTakeBerlin · 27/05/2013 19:58

I've worn makeup everyday since I was 13. I bought with my pocket money, it didn't occur to me to ask my mum

I think no to the lesson at a beauty counter, just let her get on with it.

Shenanagins · 27/05/2013 20:11

I wore lipstick at 14, it didn't occur to me to even mention it to my poor suffering mum. The first one was candy pink from boots no 17. Then rimmel heather something, before bright red to copy Madonna from who 's that girl where she got her lipstick handed back to her and it was fire engine red.

mum did get the last laugh when i experimented with orange pan stick!

so yes i think you should allow it and just stand back and let her learn by making mistakes along the way.

liverpoolwelsh · 27/05/2013 21:07

If you are near a department store with a Bobbi Brown counter, I recommend their Teenage Beauty Lesson which you can book for free: it's lovely and natural looking. There is also a great teenage beauty book by BB (no, I promise I don't work for her/them!) www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B004477HC4/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=103612307&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0091878179&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=0QDV0FC1FNJW07QSKDMM

GetOrfMoiLand · 27/05/2013 21:13

Teenage beauty lessons with Bobbi Brown? I love her make up but I am a dullard in my 30s so natural looks are the way to go. Teenagers should be wearing Barry M!

specialsubject · 27/05/2013 21:26

pick your battles. If she wants to look like all the others, let her. Just make sure she takes it all off before bed.

BTW moisturiser with sunscreen is a con, it has so little sunscreen it is useless. Wear real suncream.

GW297 · 27/05/2013 21:36

I've worn makeup everyday since I was at least 13 too.

GeorginaWorsley · 27/05/2013 21:44

Have 3 DDs .Middle one 14 and wears make up.
I love make up,eldest DD is make up artist as well!
Agree with posters who say other things to worry about.

kslatts · 27/05/2013 21:44

My dd1 is 13 and wears foundation (to cover the odd spot) and mascara to school, at weekends she doesn't usually bother unless she is going somewhere special, then she will wear foundation, mascara, lip gloss and eye shadow. She doesn't go OTT.

Dd2 is 11, she never wears make up to school, but will wear a small amount on special occasions.

I think you should let her.

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