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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

ds went off to university yesterday

59 replies

ellceeell · 24/09/2005 09:47

ds went off to university yesterday - and I cried myself to sleep! All the organising and packing and "serious talks" about budgeting, studying, making friends - and it's only just hit me that we will never have quite the same relationship again. I am such a wimp!

OP posts:
MaloryTowers · 24/09/2005 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ellceeell · 24/09/2005 10:29

lol

I post very occasionally, but this is the first thread I've ever started. It is silly, he's been away from home lots of times but this seems a real rite of passage time. And it's just sneaked up on me!

OP posts:
MaloryTowers · 24/09/2005 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ellceeell · 24/09/2005 10:58

but it's so fascinating! I only discovered MN since I had dd2 - she's starting nursery on Monday, so everything is changing!

OP posts:
jangly · 24/09/2005 11:04

Oh, I howled when mine went! But you will have the same relationship you know. The hols soon come round and there might be the odd phonecall! And housing being the price it is there's every chance he will come home after uni. He'll be twentsix and you won't be able to shift him!

Original poster
ellceeell · 24/09/2005 11:46

That's reassuring - I think!

OP posts:
Jackal · 24/09/2005 18:15

I sympathise as my DD is going on 10th Oct - though she is in the same city still! lol
She wanted the 'whole experience' so is moving out and moving into halls. So I don't suppose it will be quite the same. Hope you're feeling a bit better today and it won't be long till the christmas holidays!!!

Original poster
ellceeell · 24/09/2005 20:24

So, do you think she'll bring her washing home?

OP posts:
mumeeee · 24/09/2005 20:25

My eldest DD went on wednesday although she doing the same as your daughter Jackal. She stayed in halls on Wednesday and Thursday nights, but stayed here last night as she wanted to go to work from here. She has now finally left and will be staying in halls the rest of the term. She has already made a couple of friends ( she is very sociable ) and has been to the social club. I cried when we left her as she has suddenly grown up and is not my little girl any more. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was taking her to start reception! There are still a couple more girls to move into her flat, they all have to be in by Sunday.
How are you feeling now ellceell?
We are all going to miss her especially her 15 year old sister as they are quite close at the moment.
Her halls are right next to tesco and Mcdonalds so she won't starve!

Original poster
ellceeell · 25/09/2005 10:34

Feeling a bit better now, thanks. Just waiting for the phone calls now - I've forgotten ..., Can you send me ... etc

OP posts:
teeavee · 25/09/2005 10:45

This is a touching thread! You should be proud of yourself! What's he reading?

cadbury · 25/09/2005 10:55

Oh its bringing a twang of nostalgia back reading this. I took my dd to school for the first time a gew weeks ago, but in my head, it was only yesterday that I started Uni. I remember Mum and Dad bringing all my stuff up 2 flights of stairs to the halls and leaving really quickly (but not before my dad did his warm handshake with everyone he met on the floor ). I know my mum cried leaving but I'm pretty sure my dad did too. I closed the door, sat on the bed and sobbed for a good hour . After I unpacked, I was all set to lock myself in the room for the night but I got draggged out to the bar and had a great night (surprised I can remember it and a little ashamed too ). It was a great adventure and part of me still feels like a fresher but sadly, that was 12 years ago now, and I only get to be a very boring housewife and mother now. Brain has rotted away along with my ability to be the woman I was then.

Sorry, I'm waffling in my own little blog there. Snap out of it Cadders! You are not 19 anymore.

tallulah · 25/09/2005 12:47

Had this last year when DD went off to uni for the first time. We left her and drove off in tears, as did most of the other parents there

Sadly it isn't the same once they've gone. DD seems to have forgotten the normal ebb and flo of our family life and is a kind of belligerent stranger when she's here, drinking all the milk without saying anything so no-one else gets any breakfast, and knocking the bath panel off every time she uses the loo

suedonim · 25/09/2005 17:24

My dd1 started at uni last week. She organised the whole thing herself - all I had to do was hand over money in large quantities. But poor little 9yo dd2 is now all on her own and from tomorrow it will just be her and me, as dh is starting a new job in W Africa. It will be a strangely quiet household.

My two boys have been to uni and one is currently living between the US/Israel but we all have an excellent relationship. Of course, it's different to the one you have with a small child but it's just as pleasurable.

Janh · 25/09/2005 18:45

DD1 went to uni 4 years ago and we had a big family outing to Leeds, in 2 cars, with mounds of stuff; it was a bit weepy and DD2 found it hardest as they shared a room, like mumeee's DDs.

Things were quite fraught on her visits home to begin with (like tallulah's DD!) but she is now living at home while looking for a proper job and is actually a pleasant adult, so although the relationship does change, it doesn't have to be for the worse - just different

suedonim, your house will feel very weird. Maybe you should get a lodger

Janh · 25/09/2005 20:15

Forgot to mention, when DD1 first left, I went on cooking enough for her, and laying the table for her, for several weeks!

Original poster
ellceeell · 25/09/2005 20:31

Oh, I cooked enough Sunday lunch for ds today! So there was lots left over!

OP posts:
mumeeee · 25/09/2005 23:39

How is everyone feeling I am feeling a bit down, so is my 15 year old. She sais she is missing her sister. TMy youngest DD seems fine but has asked when we can go and see her. I cooked too much tea tonight.

Redtartanlass · 25/09/2005 23:51

Oh no, my ds1 is going next weekend, I thought I'd cope fine, but after reading these threads, imagine I'm going to be a blubbering wreck. Ds2 is only 20 months and is going to miss him like mad, and ds1 isn't here yet.

tallulah · 26/09/2005 16:48

I set the table for 6 for months

My youngest ds missed his sister terribly. He'd only just started secondary school & his teacher said it was 2 enormous changes in too short a time.

suedonim · 27/09/2005 00:02

Lol, Janh! I'm clearing off to W Africa in the New Year too, so a lodger would save me having to find somewhere for the pets to go.

When dh worked offshore he used to get most offended when I forgot to lay a place at the table for him when he got home, hehehe!

ThePrisoner · 27/09/2005 01:02

I despatched one dd to uni 3 years ago and, woe is me, she is back now and job hunting (or so she says).

Despatched second dd to uni yesterday (Sunday) and am just revelling in the lower noise level in the house. I am such a wicked mummy, I haven't cried!!

jangly · 27/09/2005 08:44

Yes, Ellceeell, there will be washing. She will probably turn up with bags of it the week before Christmas when you could really do without it! (oh, and you might need rubber gloves for the odd mouldy towel! )

Sherbert37 · 27/09/2005 09:20

Nearly in tears reading this and my eldest has only just started at secondary school! I stand to lose three children in four years which would be awful (for me, not for them!). I'm hoping one will fancy working in Burger King and stay at home...I'm also getting more guinea pigs!

biglips · 27/09/2005 09:22

awww- beat youre SSSOOOOO proud of him .. what is he studing?

well at least youve got your DD2 to keep you on your toes