Well, looks like I am back just in time for the mega cleaning session. And hell, does my house now need it. Been quite a week for me - got fags (yay), got pissed in the process - as in 2 days away on the piss (not yay at all), fell in a hungovertohell hole over that for another 2 days, then ended up with firemen and police here this eve cos some twunt of a neighbour with land nearby lit a fire and left it burning whilst he went home, had supper, a few drinks, blah blah - pick a song about living in the country. The upside is that twunt has, unknowingly, written a whole chapter of my book for me.
So, wander in here and find, horror of horror, what looks like a trolly DM thread has taken our number 1 spot. Are they phishing for a story or wot? Have spidery senses over that. Apologies hugely if I am off the mark, but....
BUT, we have a flag!!! WOOT woot. And I bet if you turfed that turkey off the surfboard, you would find a gleaming, non-powdery granite fin shining below the waves. Possibly with several armbands, rubber rings, etc impaled beneath - all VERY clean, no barnacles or anything.
Oh, hang on, am saying "we" cos I feel like I belong here. That's Ok, innit?
Now, to read back and see how serial, got, witty, cleaning and everyone else is really doing....looked good on a skim before posting. Back later.
lying cow, it's 
(with cork, corkscrew is suing me for abuse and rightly so).