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Original poster

If I'm getting married without a wedding does it matter what I wear?

76 replies

BroccoliSpears · 19/07/2008 20:18

The plan is to go down to the registery office; 10 minute ceremony, two witnesses, no rings, no celebration.

DP is going to wear jeans and that's fine.

Shall I just wear whatever I would have worn anyway to take the kids to playgroup and zip round sainsburys?

Or do I wear something vaguely smarter?

Do I get something new?

Something new that I'll wear lots that just happens to be new on the day I get married? A nice skirt maybe?

Do we take a photo? Head says not because it's just a legality and we didn't take a photo when we switched mortgage provider or wrote our wills. Heart starts wondering if dd might one day ask for a photo of the day we got married. But I suppose my answer is that we didn't want a wedding so no photos. But if we do take a photo.... what do I wear?

Hummmmm.

I know this isn't simply a style and beauty question, but I'm posting here because I like it here and it is about clothes

OP posts:
MamaG · 19/07/2008 20:19

I'd buy something pretty that I'll wear again and take pics - as you say, DD might want to see a pic of the day

LoveMyGirls · 19/07/2008 20:20

I think it only matters if it matters to you, I'd take some photos for your dd's sake.

cafebistro · 19/07/2008 20:24

Personally I would take a photo on the day...you may not want it now but it's always there in case you want it at some point in the future, it would be a real shame to regret not having a momento years down the line...but i am sentimental and you may not be.
Clothes wise, if I knew a pic was being taken i would want to look nice so I would make an effort but not necessarily buy anything new.
Congratulations by the way.

Jewelsandgems · 19/07/2008 20:27

agree with mamag - wear something pretty that you will wear again. what about a ditsy floral tea dress or something simular?

And are you going to have a romantic evening after the ceremony? If so, maybe some gorgeous lingerie?

Jewelsandgems · 19/07/2008 20:32

example of kind of dress I am referring to:

www.lipsy.co.uk/Product/16147_Summer_Daisy_Frill_Dress_.aspx

would look nice over jeans too.

But, not sure what your style is so sorry in not your kind of thing

cmotdibbler · 19/07/2008 20:35

I'd buy something nice that you'll wear again and take some photos. Def some nice new undies - its a good excuse if nothing else !

snooks · 19/07/2008 20:35

is there anything you have already that your dp really loves you in? I know it's not all about pleasing him but would be a nice touch. Echo the others and take some photos, even if they're not 'posed' ones (prefer natural spontaneous weddingy ones).

Slubberdegullion · 19/07/2008 20:36

You could just go casual like your dp but invest in some really, really amazing shoes. And take a photo of them.

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 19/07/2008 20:42

If by romantic evening you mean breastfeeding a newborn who co-sleeps and setting a 2-year-old who never sleeps through until she's in bed with us, then yes! Yes we are.

I think it's a good enough excuse to buy something new as long as I'd wear it again.

I usually favour maxi skirts (I like this) but have recently discovered that tunics and wide leg trousers are quite flattering on me. Maybe something monsoony and a bit ethnic in a strong colour?

OP posts:
Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 19/07/2008 20:44

Don't really have anything that dp is fond of at the moment. Too recently had a baby and am a bit in a muddle with new shape / baby weight / lack of style. He has always prefered me casual though.

OP posts:
Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 19/07/2008 20:46

Oooh, isn't this pretty. Completely wrong for the occasion, not very 'me', too expensive and I'd never wear it again ! But pretty!

OP posts:
cmotdibbler · 19/07/2008 20:52

Lovely - but wouldn't be good for bfing! Trousers and tunic sounds good - plus a hot milk bra off Figleaves

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 19/07/2008 21:01

My local lingerie shop stocks Hot Milk. I'll think on that.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 20/07/2008 17:21

i knwo you are not celebrating but couldnt read this without saying " congratulations"

sad old romantic that i am....

sorry have no advice on clothes as am fat old bag

DeeRiguer · 20/07/2008 17:27

congratulations!
i do think it matters..
there was no big thing here either but we both got dressed up albeit dh and best man in full cycling gear!
i had lovely outfit (winter) and did take pictures and had meal for the select few (witnesses and ds)
its your day, enjoy!

norkmaiden · 20/07/2008 17:30

I get the wedding-cynicism vibe here but I do think you should get a photo of your wedding day. The only one I've ever seen of my parents' wedding is a torn-in-half snap (they're now divorced), but I'm strangely glad to have seen it - it was a v rocky marriage but nice to know they were happy together at some point!

As for clothes, I'd deffo get something new that can be worn again, but then I'd never pass up an excuse for new rags!!

norkmaiden · 20/07/2008 17:31

(oh and congrats!! offered nervously given the mortgage-getting comparison, but still...)

themildmanneredjanitor · 20/07/2008 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BetteNoire · 20/07/2008 17:34

My BF got married wearing jeans and a nice top.
Which was fine at the time.
Fifteen years later, and she wishes she had worn something a little smarter.
Deffo take photos.

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 20/07/2008 19:30

I like this. Maybe with cords? And not sure what shoes. Clogs? Although if I'm having a photo I should probably wear a stronger colour. OR, maybe that with a brown vest underneath for 1 up 1 down bfing?

(I do get the significance of being together for ever, it's just that a bit of paperwork in Leeds town hall doesn't really have much to do with the massive emotional commitment dp and I have to each other and to our children )

OP posts:
norkmaiden · 20/07/2008 19:34

like that BS

also this? or this is utterly beautiful

(just some presumptuous linking for fun on my part as I realise I don't know your taste btw!)

Lola234 · 21/07/2008 10:04

i would buy a smart/casual dress which can be worn everyday, but looks nice when worn smartly. regardless of having a casual wedding, you can still wear something a little nicer than usual!

Pruners · 21/07/2008 10:08

Message withdrawn

Celery · 21/07/2008 10:22

I think as you are asking the question, then it's obviously on your mind that it would be nice to dress up a bit. Certainly wouldn't do any harm and you might regret it if you don't. After all, no matter how small a wedding is, it's still your special day. We did the same as you - registery office, just the witnesses, and I'm glad we dressed up a bit and had a few pics taken. MIL annoyed me by getting a bouquet delivered to our house, without consulting me or telling me first, even though she didn't come to the wedding - I really didn't want to carry flowers - but I guess it was her way of feeling a part of it. Have a lovely day, I think it's a wonderful way to get married, if it's your thing. So personal, literally just about the two of you and nobody else.

MaryAnnSingleton · 21/07/2008 10:50

I'd wear something nice and take some photos

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