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Original poster

If I'm getting married without a wedding does it matter what I wear?

76 replies

BroccoliSpears · 19/07/2008 20:18

The plan is to go down to the registery office; 10 minute ceremony, two witnesses, no rings, no celebration.

DP is going to wear jeans and that's fine.

Shall I just wear whatever I would have worn anyway to take the kids to playgroup and zip round sainsburys?

Or do I wear something vaguely smarter?

Do I get something new?

Something new that I'll wear lots that just happens to be new on the day I get married? A nice skirt maybe?

Do we take a photo? Head says not because it's just a legality and we didn't take a photo when we switched mortgage provider or wrote our wills. Heart starts wondering if dd might one day ask for a photo of the day we got married. But I suppose my answer is that we didn't want a wedding so no photos. But if we do take a photo.... what do I wear?

Hummmmm.

I know this isn't simply a style and beauty question, but I'm posting here because I like it here and it is about clothes

OP posts:
teafortwo · 21/07/2008 11:33

Hey Broc - i just got married kinda like you want to... I am off out (picnic date) but would love to chat later - tell you what we did, what we wore, what we said, whether we took photos... how we dealt with family who wanted a big white wedding (ouch) etc etc. I found by chucking out all the traditional stuff your options are so wide - to begin with you don't know where to start!!!!

There is another lady who is having a quiet wedding too - we are chatting lots on 'brides to be come talk weddings' perhaps you would like to join us there too...???

Stay cool!

Talk soon...

chocbutton · 21/07/2008 11:58

We did a similar thing, very small and just as we wanted with only ourselves, DS, and 2 witnesses, then back home for champagne and a big cooked breakfast! We didn't want any fuss but I also didn't need an excuse to go and buy new clothes!

I bought a new dress (from Hobbs) and shoes and had my hair done etc and had a small bouquet as well. Photos taken by us and witnesses and I like looking at them as it was a really happy day.

I know it may seem like just a legality but you obviously think it is important enough to do it so take the opportunity to make it a lovely day for you all. It would be a shame to not have any photos to look back on when you probably have photos of other important family times like hols etc.

Having said all that, it is your day so wear whatever you feel like and have a lovely day!

kama · 21/07/2008 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RubyRioja · 21/07/2008 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teafortwo · 21/07/2008 21:33

So Brocs... if you are interested...

We got married in Westminter Registrar office. DH wore trousers and a shirt with a collar but no tie. I wore a blue cotton Next halter-neck maxi dress. We had a friend each and dh's friend brought his family with him to keep dd amused!!!

Words said...

Good Morning, and a warm welcome to you all. My name is the Superintendent Registrar, and with me is the Registrar.

We are here today to witness the marriage of Beerfortwo and teafortwo, and on their behalf, I would like to thank you for joining them to witness the affirmation of their family life together.

So Tea and Beer? Before you are joined in matrimony it is my duty to remind you?

Then all the leagal stuff...

Tea and Beer, you have with you today your close friends: Coffee, Vodka and herbal infusion.

Also with us is Beer?s lovely God-Daughter iced-tea, her delightful brother water and of course your deeply loved daughter milk!

With all their encouragement and support, I ask you now in the presence of this dear company...

Then legal stuff...

It gives me great pleasure to declare that you are now husband and wife.

Congratulations to you both!

And btw - this was all said while playing catch with a beachball!!! It was like being in our own livingroom apart from it was tidier!

We went to Covent Garden straight after for a location photo shoot session (definately not 'weddingy' photos) then to the river to eat a late lunch with our friends in a pub/restaurant we both love!

We got the pictures taken for our Mums and as a little memory for us too. This was on the advice of my Aunt and Uncle who did the whole quiet wedding thing too and said they thought photos were important.

All our relatives knew about our wedding as I sent them each a letter explaining that we loved them very much, are going to have a quiet wedding but want to celebrate with them by (filled this space with something we love to do together e.g my Nanna going for a little walk and having afternoon tea at her favourite cafe).

I think there are aspects about our marriage that were a bit too 'weddingy' for what you want but it might give you a few ideas...

So... what are your plans so far???? TELL US MORE!!!!

P.S - sorry for the epic post!!!!

teafortwo · 21/07/2008 21:47

p.p.s Westminster is what I meant - note to self - don't type with a wiggling toddler on lap - it simply doesn't work!!!!

teafortwo · 21/07/2008 22:14

eeerrrr... and also, I wanted to say to chocbutton... your wedding sounds lovely!!!!

BUT... we want more info on what you wore - all in the interest of research for Broc of course... nothing to do with my big nose!!!

madamez · 21/07/2008 22:21

Yes, wear something nice (treat yourself) and take a photo or two because keepsakes are nice (and will go some way to placating any relatives who are pouting that they weren't asked). I appreciate that you don't want a full production number but do treat it as something that's enjoyable and don't get too horsehair-tampon about it.

S1ur · 21/07/2008 22:25

It may be a legality, but it is also a chance to have a good time. I didn't take pictures of myself signing the mortgage but I did take photos of us at a picnic at the weekend.

I also wore something I liked and was lovely.

It could be a fb day with your mates and family.

Don't be a numpty, look gorgeous, have fun and take pictures to prove it.

I think tunic style would fab btw.

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 21/07/2008 22:44

PMSL. Life is so much easier now I have Mumsnet - I don't have to think, I just post a thread and then do what everyone says .

Am roffling at horsehair tampon and being called a numpty!

Norkmaiden, that Ghost top is beautiful. Not the right shape for me, but it has inspired me. Have been looking online but think I need to pop to town. Ahhh shopping with two under-threes, is there any greater joy?

So. We're booked to see the registrar a week tomorrow to erm, announce intention to marry? Something like that.

Will buy a nice outfit (for the ceremony, not the announcing appointment) and nice shoes, but something I will wear again. Will hope the registry office can provide 2 witnesses. It will be me, dp and our two children (who will hopefully behave like angels). Take a couple of snaps. Go out for family lunch. Job done.

No Bloody Idea how we're going to tell people. We'll tell close family beforehand. Probably phone anyone who would be hurt not to be told, after the event. Does that sound okay?

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Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 21/07/2008 22:46

Teafor2 - I love your bevarage themed friends and family!

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Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 21/07/2008 22:48

PS - had not thought of clicking on the brides-to-be thread as I hadn't really considered myself to be a bride. Will have a lurk.

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specialmagiclady · 21/07/2008 22:53

Think you may find wedding more emotional than you expect, even if very simple. Deffo dress up nice for pictures. I absolutely love the idea of a note and individual celebration idea for those who would be upset not to be at wedding.

teafortwo · 21/07/2008 22:57

From other mn conversations I think you HAVE to provide your own witnesses.

I think it is a great idea to have your children with you - it really made our day! Have you got two lovely friends who would do the honours of joining you?

I have worn my dress loads since because it is nice but everyday. When I wear it for typical everyday things... supermarket, park etc I feel like I have this great big lovely secret... no-one knows I am in my wedding dress right here right now!!!

And btw - I hate all this nickname rubbish - those are their real names!!!

chocbutton · 22/07/2008 09:28

thankyou teafortwo, your wedding also sounds like it was lovely, and the wedding notes to your family made me feel all What a great idea.

In the interests of dress research I wore a black and white silk wrap over dress from Hobbs - tried to link to it but all the A/W stuff is there now

BTW you definitely do have to provide your own witnesses - I asked the registry office as we were trying to keep it so secret that we didn't want to have anyone we knew as witnesses. They looked at me like this and said " I am sorry, we don't have the facilities to provide witnesses" - they were very nice about it but made me laugh as it was as though the witnesses were kept in a cupboard and then brought out when needed!

slug · 22/07/2008 11:07

Where are you getting married? I'll volunteer as a witness.

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 22/07/2008 13:13

Question for those of you who have had simple registrar ceremonies: Will it be okay for dp and I to be holding the children while we say the words bit? Dd might sit on a chair with us and ds might fall asleep in the pushchair, but we'd be holding them if they woke up / needed someone.

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Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 22/07/2008 13:13

Leeds city centre Slug - near you?

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norkmaiden · 22/07/2008 13:24

glad you liked the top - just shout if you want some internet window shopping help!!

chocbutton · 22/07/2008 13:40

Broc, our registrar was great and asked if we'd like to hold DS in between us. He walked in with me at the start (sort of gave me away!) and then sat with our witnesses for a bit until he wanted to come to the front with DH and I. Then we carried him, and just continued with the ceremony. It was lovely, made it feel a real family occasion. I'd hope that all registrars were like this, as she was quite happy for us to do whatever we wanted - as she said 'this is your wedding'!

Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 22/07/2008 13:49

Am currently searching red dresses after taking a fancy to this - v flattering, a good colour on me, re-usable, but not keen on that particular pattern.

Love this but not a flattering neckline / straps. and I'd have to wear trousers with that.

Needs to be BF friendly.

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Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 22/07/2008 13:51

This in red spots maybe?

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Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 22/07/2008 13:58

Or this with jeans?

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Original poster
BroccoliSpears · 22/07/2008 14:02

This!!

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expatinscotland · 22/07/2008 14:04

I wore a pink dress from Episode and cream coloured heels.

He hired a kilt.

Job done!

We took photos.

Have a great wedding!