My surprise 40th birthday party (that I dont know about)

[Oldgalgames]

My husband slipped up and has planned a surprise 40th for me in a couple of weeks. He has asked me to 'pretend' I dont know about it on the date and act surprised, no idea how its going to go, as a side note I did not want a party at all and I certainly wish I didnt know about it now. Anyway I am now at a loss on what to wear, i spend most of my time in gym clothes and i am not someone who is dressy or glam. I do have a lovely top from M&S https://www.marksandspencer.com/slash-neck-sleeveless-peplum-top/p/clp60778050?color=BLACK&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjvfSBhDpARIsAEiOpSudUTnCWoQqAObIBFTqbay8SDMth7QDCawgRi631KQgrG-PebLy1tkaAssiEALw_wcB but what to wear on the bottom half? I am slim size 10 and 5f 7inches

Where is the party?

No idea where its at, its not at my house I know that much and there will be food

what about a trouser suit if you don't like dresses .

Nevermind clothes, you need to speak to him and tell him you don’t want this.

You don't know about this party and will be taken by surprise in that nice top and your favourite leggings. It's fortunate that both are fresh on and that you had a haircut earlier that week. Enjoy.

Would you enjoy the opportunity to dress up? I think on a big birthday, you could wear something flash, even if it’s just to the pub.

It's a lovely idea from your husband. Surely you've been together long enough, for him to realise, that a surprise party isn't something you'd want???!!!

What about buying a jumpsuit? You can buy one that's as 'dressy' as you want. Even a more casual one could be 'dressed up' with shoes/handbag/jewellery. There are so many around, and as you're 5ft 7, far more choice than if you were short like me!!

Can I ask why?
who are you pretending for?

if everyone knows you wear gym clothes all the time, why change?

I be cross if I had to attend a surprise event and the “surprised person” arrives dressed up and ready for an event.

just message everyone saying you’ve found out and are looking forward to seeing everyone.

Take the opportunity to wear whatever you like (that's what I'd do!) If you don't know about it then you will be wearing gym clothes or jeans...

What would you normally do on your birthday? If you were going out for a meal how would you dress?

Just wear the top you like with some jeans or whatever you’d normally wear.

Did your husband ‘slip up’ deliberately, to give you a chance to prepare - emotionally and sartorially?

A pair of cycling short length black leggings would be epic with your black top.

This is assuming you are actually resigned to the idea of a party? Presumably so, if you’re planning your outfit?

@SassylovesbooksIt’s not a lovely idea if it’s not something the OP actually wants. I’d hate a surprise party and it would make me feel worse than having no party.

I would be speaking to my DH and explaining that, as he knows, I don’t enjoy parties and that he needs to cancel it. It will be awkward for him, but that’s his own fault for not thinking about what I would want, given it’s for my birthday.

Previously I would have gone along with it and had a birthday party that I spent time worrying about then not enjoying, but I’ve come to the realisation that sometimes you need to put yourself first.

If your friends and family know you usually wear gym clothes and you turn up in something dressy, it will be fairly obvious to them that you knew about the party. So if you want to go along with pretending to be surprised wear the clothes you normally wear.

Given your personal taste, I think you should wear something you are comfortable in. I like the top a lot, it is simple and elegant.

Surely the 'surprise' is the party but usually the birthday person knows their going out for a meal, so dressing up would be fine. Smart trousers of any colour would look good with your top.

Unless OP has crippling social anxiety (in which case, it is weird/cruel of him to arrange a surprise party for her) I'd try to take his gesture in the spirit in which it was presumably intended. At the very least, it will be nice to see loved ones.

This is a classic Mumsnet quandry - a DH does nothing and disappoints or does something and gets it wrong. Perhaps husband swapping is the answer? 😄

Maybe it wasn’t her husband who arranged the party.

ETA Scrub that - I should read the OP properly!

I’d be wearing a pair of white button top culottes with that top.
And the person who suggested cycling shorts with that top? Seriously? Have a missed a fashion trend?

You would be cross if the person was dressed up 😅 Are you ok?!

That’s a terrible suggestion!

good grief.

Great suggestion in my book .

I know my mum would hate a surprise party and I promised her we wouldn't ever have one for her.

I think it's even worse knowing about it, I would message people and tell them the cats out of the bag instead of trying to act surprised. I know two people who have done that, it's not a big deal.

If you're a gym clothes lady then that top will be fine with lots of things, jeans, trousers.

I hope you have a good birthday.

You'd be cross if op turned up dressed up?

Im pretty sure the guests would assume op was told shes being taken out for a meal or something.

No one at all will be thinking "shes wearing a black top, she KNEW about the party im so cross"

I think that top would look lovely with black stretch pedal pushers (or capri pants as they’re calling them this time around) and thong kitten heels