S&B “cliches/classics/staples” that work and don’t for for you…

[NotOneMore]

For me:

Don’t work: oversize white shirt, bold lip, giant sunglasses.

Do work: trench (black) and wrap coat, good watch.

Do work:

• Nude lip
• Fur / big coats - heavy top balances my heavier bottom half
• Collared long sleeve tops - but not shirts
• Chunky shoes / trainers - i have really small feet and they make me look like less of a magpie

Don't work:

• Bold lip - any vibrant colours just make me look weird and idk why my face is just broken. Red lipstick in particular looks so awful on me.
• Long coats - as im 5'1, so yeah
• 3/4 length skirts - midget issue again
• Stripes - i so wish I could throw on a stripey anything and not look strange as hell. It just doesn't suit me and idk why
• Huge puff sleeves / shoulder padding - I have broad shoulders so I end up looking like a man

Don't work:
White shirts - I look like a recently exhumed corpse in white (pale, freckly, dark eyed dark brunette)
Crisp shirts - always make me feel like I'm cosplaying as a man
Loafers - old lady in orthopaedic footwear
Barrel jeans - 1940s jockey vibes
Me & Em - ironic, as I've been a shareholder since they crowdfunded in 2017 and they've made me a lot of money. Everything's too boxy or straight up and down and overly structured. No wonder it all sells like hot cakes in the USA.

Do work
Brown, camel, taupe etc - I'll be gutted when black makes a comeback
Belts - needed to stop me looking like a weeble in anything oversized

Can't do a denim jacket, questionable re baseball cap, look like Waynea World

Definitely doesn’t work: leather biker jacket. I look like I’m in fancy dress. I hate the weight and smell of them too

@StillSpartacus and Sister Jane, as unflattering as it gets.

Mary Janes
ballet slippers
Lucy and Yak

I forgot about biker jackets!

The ‘Our Fashion editor’s classic picks’ always includes a biker jacket. Who do they actually suit?

I suit biker jackets but my best friend doesn’t.

I love a biker jacket.

I think it's because I have a short torso so a lot of other jackets just swamp me

'Classic white t-shirt'. Unfortunately all t-shirts on me are just instafrump. Something to do with the collar, jersey material etc.

But I do love a nicely fitting, longer length blazer with jeans.

I love a jumpsuit but my hips are very narrow so if the jumpsuit makes them look wider it's probably a good thing and balances me out.

I have big boobs so anything double breasted like a trench coat makes me look like Miss Trunchbull in Matilda. Same with a crisp white shirt. They give me a Hattie Jaques in Carry on Matron vibe.

I don't wear black, I'm very short and it drains me and makes me fade into the background so the classic LBD is not for me. A navy blue/green/red/purple dress (or jumpsuit) is much more my style

Loafers. I look ghastly in them. Like Olive Oyl. Probably because my feets too big. I do like them on other people though.

Lipstick of any kind. I can feel it. All the time. Horrid.

Crops, ankle grazers, barrel legs, nearly everything flowery.

My problem with loafers is that I have skinny ankles and quite big feet - I'm a size 40, even though I'm 5ft6 - same shoe size as my daughters, who are 3-4 inches taller than me... why???

I have a very strange relationship with trench coats. Open with the belt tied at the back looks fun, casual and very cool. Done up and belted = Miss Trunchbull.

I also have v specific issue with jeans, crisp shirts, leather jackets…. I look great in this style. It really suits me, esp with a bit of make up. Unfortunately DP also looks great in jeans, boots and shirts with a leather jacket (though he skips the strong lip colour). We have to be very careful that we don’t go out looking like an 80s synth duo,

I bought a very expensive pair of loafers once, wore them out, had an accident where I leapt up in the air and landed on foot breaking small bone (not much support in bloody loafers which were soft leather), I’ve avoided them ever since.

Can’t do double breasted either as big boobs.

Do you have matching highlighted big bouffant permed hair?

‘Crisp white shirt’ - can’t wear the crisp cotton fabric but I like a white shirt if it’s soft linen or jersey - mainly I would wear as a jacket.
Red lipstick - never
Classic round neck T - can only wear scoop or V necks
Anything with a tie around the waist - no. Sack of potatoes. I am short with a small bust and largest round my middle, and anything that emphasises this makes me look awful. Including oversized or wide legs in a thick fabric.
Camel doesn’t suit my colouring.

I do like oversized sunnies and straight leg jeans with a Breton top or a pale blue striped linen shirt open over a scoop neck white T suits me.

Can’t wear puff sleeves as short neck and body looks ghastly.

Can wear shirts - wore them a lot last summer in the heat. Can’t wear a white t shirt and always throw food/drink down myself - no one else seems to ☹️

Can’t do nude lipstick - looks like the lower half of my face fell off/wandered off halfway through doing my makeup.

Can wear shirts - wore them a lot last summer in the heat. Can’t wear a white t shirt and always throw food/drink down myself - no one else seems to ☹️
Only because I stopped wearing pale tops decades ago because I usually spill something on it within half an hour of putting it on.

Loafers get mentioned a lot On here and I just know they’d not work for me in the slightest and I think they are ugly.

That tunic and leggings look. Especially if it’s a Joules type top. It makes my legs look like stumps and my body look like an overstuffed sofa.

Yes I need the crotch the same as regular length

Solidarity @RuairiDonovan😀