What can’t you wear?

[Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain]

What can’t you wear but would love to wear? Me slip dresses and camisoles though I do have one black one I wear, River Island.

v neck t shirts - i look I've escaped from a women’s prison or just come off a hospital shift, depending on the colour. Neither are quite what I’m going for.

white tank tops - instant rab c nesbitt. Any other colour is fine, white makes me look like i shoot squirrels off my
porch and make my own moonshine.

Shirt dresses - they either fit on the chest but are too tight on the waist, or fit in the waist but are too loose on top. Also I have no waist, so belted dresses don't look good on me.

Jumpsuits, like pp I am too long in the torso.
Anything, dress or skirt that is cut straight on the bottom, I’m too pear shaped.
Round necked t shirts - the necks are always too big in proportion to the body.
Yellow.

Sleeveless dresses or tops (flabby upper arms)
Wrap dresses - (bigger boobs)
Anything above the knee
Skinny jeans/trousers
High necklines (big boobs)
Halter necklines
Shoestring straps
Baggy clothes (far too many of them in the shops!)
Frilly or flouncy/boho styles
Double breasted jackets/coats

Womens clothes/shoes.
Too tall, too broad shouldered, too long arms, too big feet, and have straight hips.

Fortunately I work in jeans hoodies t-shirts and have no need to wear shirts otherwise dress-wise id probably be sunk.

If the shoes are truly gorgeous, buy two pairs in the two sizes and bin the small left and big right.

I can’t do camel or mustard either.

Back in the 00s I was bought as a Christmas present a strappy top (vest camisole?), I wore it once to be nice but I had a good sized C cup bust then and it just didn’t suit me. My friends were both flat and wore wonderbras. I also didn’t wear that many short skirts or denim shorts as I was paranoid about my thighs. They’re fine!

I can’t wear double breasted either. I bought a Kitri white ruffle shirt but hardly worn it. Waste of money that was!

Many tops & dresses thanks to enormous bosoms that make me look like a pouter pigeon 🐦

Nothing pink
Nothing sleeveless due to crepey skin
Heels

Likewise - I look weird in wide jeans. Can just about get away with flares. The boxy silhoutte that is everywhere now just looks crap on me.

Shirts
Cream/beige
Anything too low cut
Chunky shoes/boots
Shoulder pads
Very body con dresses
Those flowy maxi dresses with no waist
Knee-high boots, unless I get made to measure

ETA - very slim and very pale!

Anything even remotely frilly or puff sleeved - makes me look chubby and ridiculous

Thanks, but no.

I’ve tried it and it looks ridiculous, plus I don’t want to pay double for shoes.

Leggings. I have long slim legs and no hips or bottom - but much bigger on top half.

Everything!
I’ve lost 6 stone and everything I wear it looks like I’ve got a rubber ring underneath my clothes around my belly that now hangs down

Shirt dresses - my body is funny measurements

Anything with cleavage on show as I'm afraid it'll all spill out

Anything high waisted as I don't like the fitted feeling around my waist

Pastel colours look terrible on me

Jumpsuits. They look so chic, but I look like Mr Tumble in one.

Circle skirts and net skirts. They’re so unflattering over my stomach.

Most jackets/blazers, they’re too big on the shoulders and look like I’m playing dress up.

I can’t find anything to wear at the moment that isn’t: bodycon, mini, polyester, puffed sleeves, high neck, dropped shoulders, frilly embellishments, ugly ‘autumn’ colours or black and red.

I can only wear flare, midi, proper sleeves, v or scoop neck and nice cool colours and prints in natural washable fabrics. No chance unless you can afford , Boden or Me+Em prices (which I can’t).

Slip dresses and wrap dresses. I'm big busted and in theory you'd think a wrap dress would be ideal. Nope, I need it bigger otherwise there's not enough material in the dress to go over my boobs! Slip dresses are just too skimpy, again because I'm big busted. I have to wear a bra, and I hate strapless ones. It's assumed when a woman is big busted that she's big everywhere, and that's not the case, especially when you're short too!!

Croptops
Too much stretched skin same for bikini really

Anything acrylic, even only a small percentage makes me hot and sweaty.

anything baggy or wide leg...am short so end up looking like a square!

I know some of you are trying to be funny and self-deprecating but it comes across as being very mean about yourself. You don’t have to apologise for existing! Anyway, I have a saggy flat arse and shouldn’t wear jeans but you better believe I do!

After losing a lot of weight I have a flat flabby pancake arse so I don’t wear things unless they cover the bum like jeans and a top. From the front they look lovely but the side or back - no. Dresses and skirts are fine.