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City break with new boyfriend after divorce - help!

98 replies

lifeafterdivorce · 17/08/2025 06:43

I’ve just booked a city break in late September with a new partner. we’ve been seeing each other since January, but it’s the first relationship I’ve had after divorce, and the first new relationship for 20 years!! It’s been going very well but a holiday together feels like a big landmark and I’d like to look nice (and more importantly, feel good).

I’m 45, size 12, pear shaped, long back and short legs. I’m looking for one or two dresses that I feel great in, and one or two lovely tops that would work with wide leg trousers. Budget is flexible but ideally under £200 total. My usual shops are Cos, Uniqlo, Sweaty Betty

Boat neck and v neck shapes suit me, and green and blues are by far my most flattering colours. I usually wear navy as a neutral (though oddly after a lifetime of avoiding black as it drains me, I’ve recently started wearing it - would definitely consider a black dress or tops for evening). I like fabrics that feel good - soft or silky, fluffy wools, nice textures. Dresses need to drape or have some structure - nothing that clings, no lightweight jersey. It all needs to be fairly casual - footwear will be trainers or leather sandals.

its a city break in Europe and temperatures could be anything from 15-25 so nothing too lightweight. There will be lots of walking but also nice meals out. Also lots of time in the hotel room but I’m not worried about that bit - it’s dressing for outside where I need help!

I want to look relaxed but stylish, casually well dressed but not too middle aged. And not too glamorous as has to be consistent with my personality and normal life (dog walking, gardening, trousers and Birkenstocks rather than satin maxis and heels). Thinking Jo Whiley or Zoe Ball!

(also, I’d prefer to buy new I think - I do use Vinted but have had more failures than successes. I’d love specific item recommendations rather than categories (‘silk shirt’) if possible. Even better if it’s something you’ve tried - eg a dress that you’ve bought that you feel fabulous in. I’ve got a hankering for a lovely knit dress in soft wool but it needs to be very flattering on the tummy area!

sorry it’s a very broad question but would love some help!!

OP posts:
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RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 17/08/2025 20:13

lifeafterdivorce · 17/08/2025 17:23

Ooo thank you @PickleASturgeon some great suggestions there. I might order and try…

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie would be open to a jersey column dress but would have to be very heavy material/with some structure - I’ve put on a bit of weight and it all seems to be going on the middle.. do you have any suggestions for one that would drape or hang well?!

Mine is Marks. I really like it, but it's probably too lightweight for you. I'm squidgier than I've ever been at a 14 though and I do think it's relatively flattering once it's got a shirt or jacket over it. I wouldn't wear it on its own.

Arket sometimes do decent heavier weight t-shirt style dresses.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 17/08/2025 20:15

This one looks as if it might be nice, although I personally hate navy! www.marksandspencer.com/textured-midi-column-dress/p/clp23026765#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r1c4%7Cprodflag_50%25%20off

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 17/08/2025 20:17

Arket. https://www.arket.com/en-gb/product/rib-jersey-dress-black-1244067003/

lifeafterdivorce · 17/08/2025 20:41

Thank you for the links @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie, I'd seen the Whistles one- the ruching at the waist means it might work.

I also really like this: https://www.baukjen.com/products/cece-recycled-polyester-and-lyocell-dress-navy?variant=40666047807569 but it will only depress me if I try it on just now. I've got a few weeks so will see if I can do a month of gym-going before I risk buying one!

Cece Knitted Midi Dress - Navy | Baukjen

Description Fits true to size, we suggest ordering your usual size. A stretchy, knitted dress in classic navy is the answer for easy, smart workwear. Cece simply pulls on with a short placket and is elevated with a sharp collar. A back split guarantees...

https://www.baukjen.com/products/cece-recycled-polyester-and-lyocell-dress-navy?variant=40666047807569

OP posts:
SpecialMilkMonitor · 17/08/2025 21:10

I know you said no jersey - and it’s not exactly a V neck, but, under the heading of Just One Thing:

Loulou de Saison vest

(And you might take some inspiration from the rest of the site, although it’s a bit above your budget.)

SpecialMilkMonitor · 17/08/2025 21:22

And wouldn’t this be more versatile than the Baukjen dress? Sling a little cashmere sweater over it for day wear if the temperature drops, then wear alone for dinner.

Massimo Dutti dress

This is perfection (if you don’t mind a lyocell / polyester mix):

Massimo Dutti pleated dress

Ohdearwhatcanthematterb · 18/08/2025 08:54

I love a simple plain dress for a city break. You can jazz it up with accessories and wear it day and night with a cardigan or jacket. I hate thinking about clothes and outfits whilst I’m away so I tend to keep it very simple. Me and Em have some lovely ones. www.meandem.com/sale/dresses-and-jumpsuits?sizes=10&page=2

Starlight1984 · 18/08/2025 09:09

Gall10 · 17/08/2025 09:29

Please don’t dress to please a man…..dress to please yourself! Self-worth is the most important attribute a woman can have. If you have self-worth you’ll have self-confidence…..there’s nothing more sexy than that!
Enjoy your time away…Hope you have a fantastic time.!

🙄

You are allowed to dress up to look nice for others as well as yourself you know.

I dress for myself more than 90% of the time but occasionally if we're going out will wear a dress or outfit that I know DH likes because it makes me feel good when I go downstairs and he tells me I look amazing!

Likewise he will put a shirt or aftershave on that he knows I love. Nothing wrong with wanting to feel attractive!

Snips · 18/08/2025 10:16

This is a nice dress for city break

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/contrast-poplin-midi-dress-p08351223.html?v1=483728686

lifeafterdivorce · 18/08/2025 11:09

Thanks so much to everyone for these suggestions. I've just put in an order with Me+Em to try this in black and in blue https://www.meandem.com/slub-jersey-smock-bodice-maxi-dress-black and this in green (which I'm pretty sure won't work but am trying just in case) https://www.meandem.com/high-neck-ruched-midi-dress-deep-golden-olive

I also ordered this, which I'm pretty sure will work for me in shape and colour and will work with lots of my trousers / skirts https://www.meandem.com/crochet-lace-cotton-t-shirt-topaz-blue

Me+Em now offer a 'try before you buy' service which I've not used before. hopefully it will work and I won't have to pay for them all!!!

And for those suggesting Zara, I'm also going to try this https://www.zara.com/uk/en/contrast-poplin-midi-dress-p08351223.html?v1=483728686 and this https://www.zara.com/uk/en/zw-collection-pleated-midi-dress-p04333041.html?v1=468092508&origin=shopcart

Hopefully at least one of those will work! Thanks so much for all the suggestions. (Still open to hearing more if anyone comes across anything particularly nice...)

Women's Black Slub Jersey Smock Bodice Maxi Dress | ME+EM

ME+EM's Black Slub Jersey Smock Bodice Maxi Dress falls to a drop-waist full skirt made from soft slubbed jersey. Shop now.

https://www.meandem.com/slub-jersey-smock-bodice-maxi-dress-black

OP posts:
lifeafterdivorce · 18/08/2025 11:20

also - @Bestfootforward11 thanks for the uniqlo link. I've looked at those dresses LOTS this summer and considered trying one. I am doing a fair bit of work travel at the moment and these seem very practical, but the fabric has been putting me off -it looks like it might be a bit rubbery / plasticky? Do you have one? What is the texture like?

OP posts:
TwinklyRoseTurtle · 18/08/2025 11:21

Can I just recommend some chub rub shorts under the dresses if you are going to be walking a lot- can affect even the slimmest people depending on weather and you don’t want chaffed thighs affecting your romantic city break! lol can buy them anywhere- I got mine from Amazon pack of 4 x

Bestfootforward11 · 18/08/2025 11:29

lifeafterdivorce · 18/08/2025 11:20

also - @Bestfootforward11 thanks for the uniqlo link. I've looked at those dresses LOTS this summer and considered trying one. I am doing a fair bit of work travel at the moment and these seem very practical, but the fabric has been putting me off -it looks like it might be a bit rubbery / plasticky? Do you have one? What is the texture like?

I find the fabric fine and it holds the shape well. Not rubbery or plasticky at all. I have a long one in khaki green and a short one in black too. I’m 5,2 with a bit of a tum but it skims over it well abd gives a nice shape. I liked the lighter colours but felt more conscious about my tummy then but you may feel different. Worth trying them to see if works for you.

Ohdearwhatcanthematterb · 18/08/2025 11:30

Great Me and Em choices OP and that Zara dress is lovely.

wizzywig · 18/08/2025 11:32

EllatrixB · 17/08/2025 09:24

Ooh congrats OP!

A few starters for ten to help you narrow things down/rule stuff out:

Hush navy chiffon ruffle shirt, admittedly an eye-watering £90

Beaufort and Blake white broderie blouse, reduced to £49

Green floral Nobody's Child blouse with wide collar, reduced to £29

This sort of plain neutral top can be dressed up or down (although personally I wouldn't pay this for it!) - this one's from Wyse

Do you like the look of any of these? If so then that gives people an idea of what you might be going for.

Dresses-wise, I was initially going to recommend the Uniqlo Rib Jersey bras dresses for daytime but see those are out for you. How do you feel about jumpsuits? I have an excellent linen-blend sleeveless black jumpsuit from Ro & Zo that is quite useful for its versatility.

The first broderie one is lovely!

Queenbeeing · 18/08/2025 11:50

Love the green Simone dress! On a cooler day you could wear it with long sleeved lycra tee (white?) and boots…
may have posted this in the wrong place, 🙄 sorry if so

Chewbecca · 18/08/2025 12:08

Nothing to add other than loving your choices OP! Hope they look good.

pertbootywish · 18/08/2025 13:06

I got a black twist detail midi dress from Cos and it fits really well (I’m a 14 but hourglass/pear so need a defined waist), heavyweight jersey feels good, I’ve worn it to a few day and evening things and saw a young lady wearing one with a bomber jacket and trainers so it can definitely be dressed up or down. Got lots of compliments from a couple of friends who also bought one! Looks like not much availability online but I have seen them recently still in store.

https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/dresses/mididresses/product/twist-detail-midi-dress-black-1259472004

Another recent buy was this satin dark green top from Jigsaw, I don’t usually wear green but looked lovely on! Wore it with a skirt last week but it will go with black jeans going into autumn/winter.

https://www.jigsaw-online.com/collections/new-in-womens/products/green-28

Recycled Satin Pleated Blouse | Green

Recycled Satin Pleated Blouse | Green

Sustainable in a luxe recycled satin, this blouse is framed with an intricate pleated trim around the collar and short sleeves that hang beautifully off the shoulder; perfect for wear day or night.

https://www.jigsaw-online.com/collections/new-in-womens/products/green-28

lifeafterdivorce · 18/08/2025 13:27

@pertbootywish good choices! I would definitely wear both, shame the Cos has sold out in my size as that’s a shape that would work for me. I actually tried that jigsaw top on a few weeks ago and agree it’s very flattering on. I was hoping it might go into sale…

OP posts:
Charabanc · 18/08/2025 14:42

My go-to for relaxed but smart dressing is the Hush sale. Now on!

GofE · 18/08/2025 15:59

You mentioned Sezane - i have recently purchased from there and love what i have had.

The Pippa dress - comes in mini or maxi, can be dressed up or down i think. the wrap tie front is very flattering (as i know you mentioned no jersey- but this is nice thick quality and well cut jersey style)...

Might be worth a look. :-)

Pippa Dresses: mini & maxi | Womenswear | Sézane