The Naked Crepe

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Psst, over here!

DH and his DBro have been to the pub and both snoring in a rather unlovely way on the sofas.

DD1 went from Warwick straight to party apparently. Am assuming so as she is not answering phone.

New pants a success. I realised last week that I hadn't bought any since we were in Paris, and had been progressively throwing them out. The pair I wore on Friday slowly slid down over my arse and gut and I had to grip them with my growler and do an undignified shuffle to the loo to pull them up. Going commando not an option, as appear to be ovulating and particularly juicy at the moment.

MI - sorry about hectic and knackering day.

Mrs S @grip my growler, and I have always wondered about 'that' problem and have hence never gone commando.

Just yelled at DS for picking his toe nails on the sofa - really irritating - he has flounced up stairs with much eye rolling in true Adrian Mole fashion.

Lovely Iceland. Lovely cold Iceland. Seen any horses, Crem?

Ovulating, Mrs S? What madness is this? My downstairs seems to have entirely given up on that front, over the past few months, and are sealing over. Heralded by coating all their surfaces in sandpaper.

Sorry MI - didn't mean to make you feel cacka. Just trying to keep my, excuse me, pecker up regarding forthcoming employment.

Just have lovely early evening BBQ with some NCT chums. Marred only slightly by the usual problem of the sons of chums ganging up on DS and pelting him with balls, nerf guns, etc, and DS getting all 'gasping' and upset about it.

He NEVER usually cries, so this is kind of a big deal for him, but a common problem. In a game with other boys, he often ends up being the one everyone throws the ball at, or fires the gun at, or jumps on. He goes along with it, wanting to be a good sport, but then doesn't know how to stop it when it gets out of hand and he feels picked on.

Tonight he got all hysterical, wanted to go home, said 'I wish I'd never been born at the same time as them', etc. Oddly he was was fine once he'd had some food and some profiteroles.

Herbs, you could set your watch by my AF's arrival. The only time I missed one was in Paris, when I had to purchase a "test de grosesse". Being French, it had very particular instructions about peeing between two points on the stick. I urinated like a horse, pissed all over the test and my hand and ended up dropping the stick in the loo, having established that it probably hadn't worked because I had drowned it. The instructions were most particular. I gave up at that point, being reasonably confident that I wasn't upduffed. I seem to recall that MI was treated to a blow by blow account from the office loo. (I left the cast off test and packaging in the bin, knowing it would cause gossip and being quite confident that no-one would think it was mine.)

Ha! I'm not sure if I'm grateful I'm way past the menopause or rather sad I'm never going to have to POAS again. I was very lucky and didn't have too much bother with the 'change' though the dessication of intimate regions is a bit of a pain, in more ways than one.

MrsS, my DD was at Warwick yesterday too. What did your DD think of it?

Happy to be home. Cat still here, weak but affectionate & purring. DD speechless when presented with her clog slippers but immediately Instagrammed a pic of them, decorated with a Netherlandish flag She has lots of plans for socialising today but is full of cold, so may not be up to it.

I have lots of plans to walk the dog and read the paper.

Auriga what dept was DD looking at?

Mrs S they can always keep the Gaiman set on the shelf for future freakouts. I think its a lovely gift.

I really think you should consider saving Groocho boozey friend after your hol if you can. I sound bossy, sorry, but I have a hangover and wouldn't want to be going on hol today.

Hatty Dd2is a toe picker. At the dinner table on occasion. Yeeruch.

I went dancing last night. There was a rather fab Elvis impersonator with a white pantsuit with a seqinned peacock on. I want one.

Cremo, Iceland looks impressive! Hope you are naked and rubbing yourself with a wet kipper

MrsS, new pants were the give-away when I was having an affair at the end of my relationship with my ex

Had a fab night out with the girls last night - cocktails in our favourite Crepey cocktail bar followed by dinner in MrsS's favourite brasserie. Where I celeb-spotted a local restaurant critic (whose DS is in DD's year!) and an old pop-icon who I actually used to know a bit a million years ago when I was at uni.
And no hangover this morning - result!

Happy Sunday, crepeys. I am feeling a tad wizened after not getting to sleep properly until after 2 and still having to get up early to let the chickens out. Dh was gigging an hour's drive away and not due back until 1.30 and dd took advantage of the fact that my phone was on and called me sometime after 1am to complain about a) still throwing up ("Well, I thought I was better, so I had a pizza and now I've been sick again") and b) my dm sending her an email telling her that she would catch HIV if she kept "carrying on". I slightly wish db hadn't bought dm that new computer last Christmas. And am glad that no matter how many times she has been shown how to, dm cannot get the hang of sending a text on her crappy phone.

Drama, BD

I send hugs to all Crepeys whose DC have gone up to Uni this weekend...Hatty, Lalsy, Molly....anyone else? They will be fine. You will reclaim your territory temporarily
DS2 phoned yesterday. This is the first contact other then the odd monosyllabic text since he arrived. This I think, is a good thing. Have to keep telling DH to stop texting him all the time. He won't answer. He and his entire flat ( 6 rooms per flat in the hall) have Freshers flu, DS having got off relatively lightly and kept going out anyway. He's coughing fit to bust now, though. He's in good spirits though, likes his flat mates and has made other friends on the corridor and has his course time table. He says his meal plan lasts 5 days...so I suggested he stays in bed for as long as possible at weekends and lives on cereal until the next instalment . He wasn't impressed...maybe I should have said MTFU Prince.

Crem So glad the trip was a success...hope the delay wasn't too long.

Oh Herbs poor DS. No doubt chocolate consoles all but the worst of sadnesses. He will find his sort of people in the end. Its hard when the parents socialise but the kids don't always get on.

MI That doesn't sound like the best Saturday... I hope today is better... I will happily meet you for lunch/tea at the BL on Saturday as mine are usually crap too

Today, we have my DNephs 21st. I am not feeling too sociable at the moment...but once I have pulled on some glad rags and slapped on the ...slap..maybe i'll be able to face it.

Feeling nervous and excited about three days of Play work shopping starting tomorrow... Veritably drooling over the sexy cast that Sexy Young Director has found...However a complicated situation has arisen in respect of the person who is acting as scribe...it's surfacing that she is receiving a volunteers award at the theatre...and seems to be doing some of the work that I always did there this term. I am trying to be grown up about it.

cross post ...Add rudy in to the list of DC's to uni this weekend!

Oh Rose. (And yes to lunch.)

I quite long for some clog slippers. I have done quite a lot of sleeping but my right eye is peculiarly swollen, which is alarming when you write about weird eye conditions a lot. And DP has invited his older brother to lunch which is secretly annoying me in a petty sort of way.

Lord. Off to the Acton depot of the London Transport museum open day today. This is a rare treat - it's only open to the public twice a year. However, it means getting to Acton. With a hangover. After our NCT gathering we had the neighbours over for Aperol spritzes. Always seem a good idea at the time. Not now.

Rudy - better late than never! Or will DS2 never forgive you?!

Stropps at your DM's comments to DD! You need to change DD's ringtone so that you don't rush to the phone when she rings

Auriga - what did she think? (she wouldn't want to go there - might bump into a crepey's dp.....)

BTM - these are not new pants, they are just New Pants. Large and functional, not ones to be ripped off in a fit of passion (though I live in hope) or to be licked or removed with teeth (ditto).

Auriga - French and Theatre Studies. She's also looking at Bristol, Lancaster, Leeds and Aberystwyth. So my DD and yours probably overlapped at some point yesterday!

Home at last. And straight back to flapping mum, who has already asked two of the four careers visiting dad daily, not to come.i am going down to see them later to sort it out. Aaaargh. Anyway, Iceland was tremendous in an outdoorsy way. Much bundling up and going out in a cold wind to view a Thing. Geyser, waterfall, volcanic crater, seal pups, white foam jetsam against black beaches lava flowing. Lava fields covered in ancient mosses, desolate fishing villages, vast glaciers, fast flowing dangerous rivers, desolate towns that look like they are built of prefab classrooms and wooden scout huts, geothermal pipes, geothermal steam coming out of the landscape, the scent of drying codfish and sulphur. It's quite assaulting on all the senses. And , yes , cold in the horizontal rain. I really needed a winter coat and thermals to protect from foundering.
And then when your eyes had nearly had enough popping there was the Blue Lagoon to melt in, and which wrecks your hair and turns it into a sticky mush. ( you can tell who has been at the Lagoon by their Crap Hair.Quite the oddest experience ever. And yes. horses of gorgeousness Molly.

Dd has already started term. She has signed up for all the courses she wants and is hoping to intern at Woman's Aid, to work on human rights policy writing or similar. Hardly been in touch AT ALL. I had to squeeze this much out of her. Meh.

Rudy, thankyou for sending my cream over. I opened it thinking it was a Benetton hat I ordered but marvelling at the wrapping! Imagine my surprise! You are a

Oh Crem. Hurrah at Iceland but pah re DM.

Hello Crepeys - may I join, too?

I think I fit the age criteria, probably the body shape criteria and the 'stage of life' criteria with regards to children (although 'we' are on a gap yeah) and ageing parents to boot.

A quick resume of moi:
50, think I'm 21
A thickening waist
A DH who still works too hard
I've been a SAHM, but desperate - absolutely DESPERATE to work again
Dancing regularly with a bit of pilates and yoga
dogs x 2
veg patch
DS who's feeling v left behind having opted to take a year out, work and travel...
Ageing parents... every phone call I get, I'm waiting for the next crisis

Am always on the look out for a bit of S&B that applies to me... which isn't much these days

On the up side, DH and I went to Iceland a few weeks back. Just to Reykjavik - but we had a ball! Forgot to take a woolly hat, but the cheapest we could find was one for about £30. I decided to go cold-headed for the 48 hours. I love, love the country! Just wish it wasn't so bloody expensive.