Until you take a 'selfie' You don't really realise just how lopsided you face is, do you?

[SqueezyCheeseWeasel]

Blimey

I'm not a natural selfie person. In fact, I hate being in pictures at all, though I have tried to get better at that since becoming a parent (for morbid reasons). I just took a photo of myself to send to DH (not one of those), I've had my hair done and wanted to show him (he's working away at the mo). Crikey O'Reilly I look wonky - one eye is bigger, more open and higher than the other and my smile is wonky too. Not noticeable in the mirror and hasn't been commented on by others but I seem to manage to capture it in full technicolor HD when I (rarely) photograph myself.

Are you the same or are you all visions of perfection?

Aldi have selfie sticks in the Aisle of Wonder today. I saw the advert a few days ago and I'm so tempted. This subject has been troubling me for some time .

Perhaps it's to do with the length of our arms? MNetters have disproportionally shorter arms than the rest of the population so we can't hold the camera far enough from our faces to get away from the back of spoon/spyhole effect? Yes, that must be it.

I've just spoken to DH on the phone and asked him if my face looks wonky in RL.

"what?"

"y'know, do I have one bulgy, big eye and one tiny one and are my lips weird"

"I'm hanging up now"

I have spagetti orangutan arms, can't be that

A FB friend was chatting to someone on there, I thought I knew her but couldn't place her. The photo was stunning. Then I realised it was the barmaid from the pub. She looks like a goblin in real life.

Just say no to the selfie sticks, hemanorshera, they will only compound our misery.

I know, urbino, it's a cruel awakening.

Ah, is that the reverse effect, hellkitty? The hideous become beautiful in pics and the beautiful are uglified by photos? I like that theory. Or might we be even worse than the photos suggest?. The panic is rising.

I'd go with the first theory Squeezy, the other is too awful to contemplate!

I'm having a moderately crap day and this thread is cheering me up significantly.

You have long arms squeezy? Ah bollocks. I thought I'd come up with the solution. I'm still tempted by the selfie stick though. I really need to know if it will work so I can move on from this selfie hell .

I think you may have cracked it with 'reverse theory of beautification' though. I have a friend on facebook who is a lovely, lovely person but in RL always looks very angry and frowny. That is just her natural face. But in selfies she looks gorgeous, happy and relaxed.

I daren't ask DP what I look like. He caught me trying to take selfies last night. I was sat on the edge of the bed in my scruffy nightie. He just backed out of the room muttering "Don't tell me, I don't wish to know".

I remember when I was younger and saw my gorgeous friend in a mirror. I was shocked, she looked so different to how she looked in real life. She was a bit lopsided looking and no where near as stunning as she really was. So hopefully we all look better in real life than we do in the mirror.

I hate when FaceTime comes up on my phone and I see myself and think what an earth is that monster looking back at me.

Oh yes, the dreaded FaceTime.

I used to have a long sweeping fringe that covered one eye. I pushed it back day and the bloke I worked actually looked panic striken at my droopy eye. I couldn't convince him I wasn't having a stroke or had developed Bells Palsy. I was mortified.
I knew that that eye was slightly lower but not that I looked like Gollum.

I can't take selfies. If I look at my camera straight on it looks like my eyes are heading off in opposite directions. I can't figure out how to center myself in it

This is all depressingly reassuring. I am also too old to be bothered I guess but I gamely took a selfie with my new iPad only to discover I have wonky nostrils that Id been blissfully unaware of for 50 yrs. Wonky nostrils...brilliant . Something else to worry about.

Do you all do that pouty thing in selfies? I would just look like I'm suffering badly with piles if I try that.

I have wonky nostrils too. not only wonky, one of them is huge compared to the other.

It's like hearing your voice on a recording. You think 'urgghhhh, NO, that squeaky sound can't possibly be MY voice!!!'.

Everyone else just hears a perfectly nice voice.

So hopefully we all look better in real life than we do in the mirror.

I work with a man who is so beautiful that women visibly swoon and catch their breath when he walks into a meeting. But in photos he looks so ordinary and unremarkable.

Cameras are cruel little bastards.

I used to be incredibly photogenic, loojed much better than in RL. God knows what has happened between then and now.

I've been practicing my selfie using a Samsung phone. There is a beauty face mode which makes your skin look really smooth.
It just makes me look like Penfold from Dangermouse.

Deidre I just want ONE selfie where I don't look like a wonky faced, fat headed loon. And yes, Coco where my eyes aren't looking off in the wrong direction at hod knows what. No pouty stuff, just one normal looking fecking photo that I can treasure .

*God knows what. Not hod. Even my fingers hate me