Right, anyone up for a challenge? Wedding outfit for short, fat minger!

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Very posh wedding coming up in 2 months. I'm 5'2, size 20-22, huge bosoms and footballers' legs. I also have upper arms like a side of pork.

So, it can't be sleeveless and it can't be shorter than ankle length. Oh, and I'm poor :o

OK for pride and self esteem, we also need to check out hair and make up.

When was the last time your hair was treated to a proper cut and possibly a colour.
We are going for the full, all over, gorgeous Gwen

Nails? Tootsies? Teeth?

Some lovely ones there. I love the green la redoute one.

I do have a waist but due to hip ratio I don't tend to pull it in because I then look like a cottage loaf. I seem to end up with things that tie at the back so an illusion of a middle is given.

I know, I'm a awkward bugger. I don't mind being fat particularly but it's an arseache being short as well. But you lot are doing well and have given me lots of ideas so thank you :)

roundtower how long does it take for stuff to arrive from the US and how much is postage? That was the dress I was eyeing up too!!

Oh hell. I knew someone would ask about hair. Um, MN haircut . I can do straightened and flicky or curly and mad soft.

Hair.

Plus How horned are your hooves .?

My trotters are one of my best features. I can't walk in heels though. Christ. I should just leave now. I tried to decline this bloody wedding invitation y'know!

you can't go to a posh wedding with the MN haircut. Not unless there's a 70's dress code.
Have you got a babyliss big hair?

No. I'm sure I can ponce one though.

practice with the babyliss big hair

go to tk maxx and get some really nice shampoo/conditioner. I get mine from there all the time now. Bargainous.

Right no more MN hair do. Off to Swanky McSwank hair salon with you. Get a proper swishy haircut and the dress will take on less importance, you will be all about the hair.

Talons?

Looking at sizing chart, note that eg size 16 is about a 20 in other shops

Trouser suit a no go...? Shame the trousers are cropped

Talons are good. I'm scared of Swanky McSwank :(

you must go to swanky salon. I hate it too, but it's the only way.

Alright, I'll make an appt with supercuts [posh emoticon]

:o

make sure you do...we'll know!

Supercuts is NOT Swanky McSwank. Please rebook (bossy) and how did you book at this time of night, anyway?

I promise, this is one time where throwing money at something really does work

Oops, I see you haven't booked yet...avoid super cuts (bossy again)

Thanks knee deep.

Checkpoint- delivery definitely took less than 2 weeks, probably closer to one really. I did get charged customs on it. Still with the exchange rate it worked out ok. I had looked at dresses for months but kept going back to it. I put it in my basket but didn't checkout a few times and they sent me a 15% code.

There is a uk site called curvety that stocks kiyonna.

Delivery was $30 I think.