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Original poster

Why do I always make the wrong decisions at the hairdressers?

31 replies

JudithOfThePeace · 05/02/2013 15:10

I hate my hair, which doesn't help. It's fine but frizzy/wavy. Brunette. Cow's lick at the front.

I go the hairdresser's or a mum from school comes to my house. I ask for a specific haircut - today shoulder length with layers - and they do exactly as I ask. And it always looks shit on me. I've had two children and after each one I had my hair cut into a bob. Both times it looked shit and mumsy. Fuck knows why I forgot that the first time and did it again after the second.

My hair was long enough this morning that I could do anything with it. And now it's mid length and layered and shite again. WHY?!

I'm so fed up of having crap hair. It always looks frumpy. Does anyone have any advice at all on how to have half-decent hair?!

OP posts:
Nagoo · 05/02/2013 15:15

Do you look at pictures to choose what to do? Do you choose things that are achievable with your hair type? Why don't you like about it? Can you fix it with product / colour / change of 'regime'?

knackeredmother · 05/02/2013 15:16

I'm watching this as have today also acquired a mum cut. I look shit.You have my sympathies.

Nagoo · 05/02/2013 15:16

And I like your name, even if I wouldn't like your haircut :)

mummybare · 05/02/2013 15:17

Maybe you just need to try another hairdresser? I have the same problem, so I'm not really the best person to give advice, but I did have a great haircut ONCE. I asked for the same thing (different hairdresser) the next time and it looked, well, a bit crap. Confused

I live in a different town now, but hopefully there's someoneyaounde these parts who can give me that same lovely swishy bouncy feeling.

mummybare · 05/02/2013 15:18

What on earth is someoneyaounde? 'Someone around', I meant.

Nagoo · 05/02/2013 16:24

Swishy and bouncy is down to hair dry technique IME. I have a Babyliss big hair, and I do a blow drying thing with that as the brush (it's a hard thing to explain) and now I'm not frizzy and hair swishes in pleasing manner.

niceupthedance · 05/02/2013 16:27

I have the same problem. Long hair looks shit. Short hair looks shit. My hairdresser (who is about 20) keeps trying to give me what I think is a middle-aged mum cut - then I realise, I am a middle-aged mum. Sad

Original poster
JudithOfThePeace · 05/02/2013 17:20

Thanks all.

I do look at pictures but I don't honestly know of the cuts I choose suit my face or hair. I find it very difficult.

Today it looks very flat - funnily enough, I do own the Babyliss Big Hair and I do quite like it, although I haven't mastered it sufficiently to do it very quickly. However, I have a strong suspicion that the best I could hope for with this cut is Jennifer Anniston c.1995.

I have no idea how to work out what does suit me, though!

Oh, and it's nice to hear I'm not alone. I mean, I'm sorry you don't like your hair but you know what I mean!

OP posts:
CareerGirl01 · 05/02/2013 17:24

For now Buy some straightners and some Elnett smooth heat styling spray. And let it grow. Keep a look out for styles you like.

MechanicalTheatre · 05/02/2013 17:28

I hear you. My hairdresser gave me a Jennifer Anisto circa 1995 last time too. AND blow dried it all flicky out. I scowled. Hard.

It looks fine when I straighten it and stuff. But I just can't be arsed 9 times out of 10.

Original poster
JudithOfThePeace · 05/02/2013 17:59

Have big-haired it. We are definitely in 'Rachel' territory. My teenage self is actually quite pleased. My adult self, not so much. I thought it was worth a shot.

Will have a look for the Elnett stuff, thanks.

But where do I look for styles that I might like?! How do I learn what suits me? Silly questions, I know, but when I google, I get loads of pics of 'hairdresser' shots where the models are styled in such a way you can't tell what the hair really looks like.

Thanks again for all replies.

OP posts:
Spookey80 · 05/02/2013 19:44

I seem to have the same thing, every time I en up getting layers put into my md length hair, them jut te t up because it looks crap.
I have now decided that the thing for me is to have good condition hair cut very simply, so minimal layers and good condition regular cut. I will then use my clothes and makeup to try and make me look up to date! ...that's the plan anyway?!

Chottie · 05/02/2013 20:13

Loads of sympathy from me too. I am not good with my hair either. I have an older middle age mum style....... It looks ok at the hairdressers, but it looks awful when I try to style it.

carlywurly · 05/02/2013 20:29

Oh, me too. I feel your pain. I need to learn to say no to hairdressers. Layers don't work for me due to my inability to be arsed to blow dry my hair every morning. Consequently my hair just looks thin and sticks out at weird angles. Straighteners seem to frazzle it and make the issue worse.

Last time I took a very clear picture of Fearne Cotton with her long bob into the hairdresser. I still ended up with the Rachel. I have had the Rachel for most of my adult life. Sob. Sad

JumpHerWho · 05/02/2013 20:36

I have similar hair to you I think - fine mousy and frizzy. I have it highlighted a v light blonde and ghD the shit out of it. Looks ace, swishy and lovely Smile if I leave it to dry naturally or even just blow dry without straightening, it looks puffy wavy and crap. But do consider highlights.

Also coconut oil, it seems to make my hair feel thicker when I use it as a conditioner.

NotAnotherPackedLunch · 05/02/2013 20:37

After years of ok followed by hardcore mumsy haircuts I have come to the conclusion that I get the best cuts from women my age or older who are not going to be seen dead aging gracefully. Younger hairdressers see me as middle aged and give me what they think is an appropriate (and shit) haircut.

I now actively seek out middle aged hairdressers who dress in young clothes and am usually pleased with the results.

thehairybabysmum · 05/02/2013 20:40

I think you need o go short....it is v hard for mid length not to look mumsy!

Original poster
JudithOfThePeace · 05/02/2013 21:36

Thanks so much everyone. Lots of food for thought.

JumpHerWho - what style is your hair then?

I'm going to grow out these silly layers, for a start. I think I might consider highlights, too. I don't want to go short, so will bear with the shitty growing phase and go for longer, but maybe simpler.

If anyone wants to link to nice hairstyles,please feel fee!

OP posts:
MechanicalTheatre · 05/02/2013 21:41

Yes, layers are shit. Hairdressers are obsessed with them.

HumphreyCobbler · 05/02/2013 21:46

Find a better hairdresser - I suffered crap hair for years, and after getting some brilliant advice on here, went to a hairdresser of someone I knew who had excellent hair (think about it - whose hair looks good?) and had a consultation with her. I now have great hair too. I am really happy when I notice it, but I don't actually think about it any more as I am not constantly fiddling with it trying to make it look nice.

mariefrance1 · 05/02/2013 21:51

My hair only looks remotely passable if I have just washed it, blow dried it and then straightened it. I cannot wash and go. Sorry OP I think it's just effort that makes people's hair look good.

lifeistooshorttodrinkcheapwine · 06/02/2013 09:47

a good hairdressers should be able to tell you whether your chosen style will be right for your hair. looks lifestyle etc They dont just blindly (No pun) give everyone the latest style.

I wonder whether you are going to the hairdressers with an idea of what you want and the hairdressers isn't giving you their honest opinion about it.

I might be a cynical old F**t, but I also think that hairdressers have this agenda to keep making you go back - to ensure they make money, to make you dependent on them by giving you styles that only they can manage (the mystique of hairdressing)

Try to find a good hairdresser, like people have said here.

Whereabouts do you live, Judith someone on here might be able to recommend one to you

CareerGirl01 · 06/02/2013 10:14

Mid-length doesn't have to be mumsy if you get it layered properly. Start with your face shape Agree with lifeistooshort about hairdressers making you want to go back. Good hairdresser will not do this.
If you can work out your face shape that will give you an idea of what suits you and may rule out other styles or whether you need a fringe.

JumpHerWho · 06/02/2013 11:19

Judith - I just have it one length and quite a low side parting. It's the colour and condition that makes it look good, and having healthy ends (which layers don't seem to help with). I think sometimes a 'hairstyle' can be quite a hassle and quite a grown up (ageing) idea, for mid length hair anyway. Like with make up I guess, the aim is to look young and naturally beautiful, and a fancy schmancy cut won't do that IMO. I also think most women look better with fairly long hair, and it's much harder to let it grow than get a 'youthful' 'fresh' 'fashionable' cut that will look crap the day after you walk out of the hairdresser. Focus on colour and condition because that is what will make your hair look good.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 06/02/2013 11:27

Judith - I am Shock at your OP, are you my long lost twin? Grin Because that is exactly how I felt after my haircut just before Christmas! I have booked an appointment with my hair dresser for next Monday and I too am stressing about it. I have opted to go quite radical and go for a pixie cut, thinking it will be pretty low maintenance. My hair is similar to yours, I have the cow lick thing (which is fucking annoying as hell!) but my hair is fairly thick and frizzy.
Is this something you would consider?