The Worst perfume ever!

[anniewoo]

Was in HOF today and as i have no money at the moment to spend (despite their sale) decided to cheer myself up with a spray ( or two) of their posh perfumes. Big Mistake- sprayed Serge lutyens Tuberose Criminale- and it was!!!! Well the smell was criminal- like camphor, moth balls mixed with wintergreen , that awful muscle rub stuff. Jesus wept and it lasts and lasts and lasts. Can't kill it off, despite Annick Goutal Ninfeo Mio on my other wrist. You have been warned.....Though i do dare you!!!

Oh ata I used to love that!

It's my alltime fave and I was gutted when they discontinued it. Alien is similar but not as effervescent iykwm

Having tried SJP Lovely for a couple of days, I have come to the conclusion that it smells like cat's piss I don't like it.

Perhaps I shall give it to my mil , in the hope of distracting her from copying me and buying Alien (she was the reason I started this search for a new perfume - definitely don't want to wear the same one as mil).

I am disappointed - I hoped that I had found a nice, inexpensive scent to tide me over while I searched for my dream perfume.

Ah well, will have to send dh out to buy me coco mademoiselle or No 5, both of which I know I love.

Has anyone put this thread in classics - it is a fantastic source of information for people like me, who are clueless, but really want to learn.

I suppose it doesn't really need to be, as it's not in Chat, but I agree with you, it's been fantastic.

That's true. Forgot that it will last forever

Think I must be a fruity person too as I loved Pampelune - I feel the need to revisit Nell.
I had a blackberry perfume once that I had to stop wearing as I attracted huge numbers of wasps outdoors....is this co-incidence or really do they like it?

We might as well be smelling a different perfume, DonaAna!
I get mostly cedar, incense and rose. I know the patchouli but no more that a bit of a background noise.
Funny how everyone's nose picks out different bits of the whole.

Mind you, not today.
Can't smell a thing today.
Bugger that cold.

I've bought a few samples because I have been so inspired by the talk of perfume.
Here is my feedback(no expert,just what worked):
Psychotrope - no. Not for me didn't work on my skin.
Secret Oudh - Wonderful.(3)
Piper Nigrum - Lovely warm winter perfume.(2)
Amber Ceruleen - Spot on for the warmth. (1)

These are from les senteurs.

I too am inspired to purchase some samples. Will have to read full thread as all I know is that I like perfumes that smell 'nice. Helpful. Am intrigued by Molecules 01though.

After reading this thread I decided to dig out one of my Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab perfumes. Chose The Black Tower. Here's the description - kind of shows why it's got a bit of a cult following (it has massive online community). I'm not remotely gothy but (used to) love this stuff.

"A sepulchral, desolate scent. Long-dead soldiers, oath-bound; the perfume of their armor, the chill wind that surges through their tower, white bone and blackened steel: white sandalwood, ambergris, wet ozone, galbanum and leather with ebony, teak, burnt grasses, English ivy and a hint of red wine."

It basically smells of leather/wine/sandalwood to me but I love it. Where can I find something similar?

Another one I like of theirs is Great Sword of War (they don't all have weird names, just most):

"Mandarin, tonka, saffron, black tea, cocoa, tobacco leaf, sanguine red musk and five classical herbs of conflict."

Again, would like to find this kind of orange/chocolate/musk scent that isn't sickly, in a more commercial scent, but no luck so far.

Or one more I'd like to find something similar to: Dorian - "Refined, elegant, and lovely, with a noble bearing and seemingly gentle air. This blend is an artful deception: a sweet gilded blossom lying over a twisted and corrupted core. A Victorian fougere with three pale musks and dark, sugared vanilla tea."

I know I could just keep buying them, but BPAL has hundreds of active perfumes and they're all 5ml bottles, would just like to find EDP EDT stuff that was similar.

Have also bought two Diptyque samples today, really hoping one of them will work for me :)

Which Dyptique did you get?

I haven't ordered any samples yet (apart from the ones I have ordered as a present for MsArse) but I am compiling a list of things I want to try. As I am insanely fussy about perfume and there are whole swathes of them that I can hardly bear to smell on other people, never mind myself, I'm going to take a trip to Liberty and Selfridges and other suitable shops and do some RL sniffing. But I'm going to order samples of a few things that I like the sound of after that if I can't find real life bottles to smell.

Bloody love this thread though, not least because I have a new and nearly full bottle of a perfume I love thanks to one extremely kind person!

DonaAna, your comment made me laugh about ignoring your lists! Actually, it's interesting because I'm also skinny, tend to the cold-blooded and have dry skin yet I loathe sweet and gourmand perfumes. I have no idea if they would suit my skin as I find them so overpowering that I haven't ever worn or tried one (except by accident).

MsArse - your samples shipped today! Hope they don't take too long to get to you.

haberdashery what perfume is it that MsArse has sent you that has caused you to be so delirious??

mysterious hamster I love the sounds of those Black Phoenix perfumes, although the names and descriptions do make them sound like they're trying to appeal to 13yr old boys who are obsessed with Warhammer. Which is odd.
Are they oils?

Does anyone here like Agent Provocetuer? I think that may be the worst perfume ever. Ive tried it twice, as I read it screams sex, and just occasionally I do want to scream that. But my God, I've had to wash it off as quickly as possible. It's so harsh, and throats catching, it's not like perfume at all. Mind you, I've not smelt it on anyone else, maybe if I did I'd want to have sex with them. Maybe it only works that way around??

Tonight I've head a bath and put on Coco body lotion and the perfume and come to bed. I just adore it. Some say it's a loud perfume, but on me it's soft and warm and only a tiny bit spicy. I find Coco strange in that, to me it just smells like perfect perfume and not like anything else, I cannot detect a single note I'd recognise, it's just heavenly perfumey.
Not sure if that makes sense? maybe it's just my unrefined nose, but Coco is just perfect perfume.

Which Agent P, OhSienna?
The pink one?
I don't like it at all, it's chypre and it turns soapy and powdery.
They had one called Strip, now that was lovely - spicy amber patchouly.

Yes the pink one is the only one I've tried. I never got to the soapy powder, shame as I love powdery scents, but I had to wash it off instantly to get rid of the harsh raspy blast that hit me straight away I'm afraid.

coffeeinbed I went for Diptyque L'Ombre Dans L'Eau and Philosykos. Was tempted to get both in a bigger size (say 3ml roller) but if I love one I'll need in a bottle or much bigger sample so thought it was safest (cheapest) to start small.

Ohsiena Yes, they're handblended oils - I was really into it about five years ago when you had to wait about 3 months for them to make the scents. Now it's more efficient but I'm not into it any more. Just still have about 20 bottles I can't bear to get rid of and a few 'imps' (aka samples). The marketing is rather teenage boy/goth girl but the perfume writing is so evocative it just pulls you in. Have made a concerted effort over the last few years to learn about other perfumes though. The more you learn, the more you realise how ignorant you are, however.

I also quite like wearing perfume at home in the evening. I think I sometimes forget to put it on in the morning but in the evening it feels like a nice personal choice, not necessarily something I'm subjecting other people to, and I tend to go for warmer, more foody scents.

Premier Figuier, Ohsiena. I absolutely love it (and have done for years and years). Coco is one of those perfumes that I just can't get on with at all so you may be bemused by my Premier Figuier love!

Squoosh, I really like Molecule 01, have you smelled Terre at all ? I reckon it's a bit like that.

Gawd bless ya, Haberdashery, I do hope you've not held back on buying yourself samples so that you could send mine - I will be delighted with mine, it will be a lovely surprise.

Ohsiena, I had a bottle of Premier Figuier that I bought ages ago because I'm a fig perfume addict but it didn't really work on me, so it needed to go to a loving home.
I was once bought a bottle of the Agent Provocateur body lotion, gave it a try because I'm not averse to the idea of smelling like sex either, but it was a massive disappointment. I'm hopeful that one day I'll track down my ideal mucky fragrance but Boudoir by Viv wasn't it.

No I didn't like boudoir either.

Maybe I'm just no siren, and the inner sex goddess I'm trying to release is really a prim buttoned up lady.

Gosh, perfume as revelatory personality indicators now too!!

Boudoir smelt like a litter tray on me.

A lot of the ones that say they smell like sex have cumin for that note which I just can't bear.
The perfume section in Liberty's on Regent St in London is really good with some interesting niche stuff. DH has a job in Harley St next wk so I am going to wander to Selfridges and down to Liberty's. I am keen to try the Tom Ford offerings.
Does anyone else find that 'American' perfumes smell awful on them as opposed to 'French' perfume. Is it a different base? The former never smell nice on me.

See I love Agent Provocateur-I think it does smell like sex! I actually bought the eau emotionelle version of it yesterday! its the eau de toilette so is lighter but still has the powdery spicy rose dry-down that I love. Smells very similar to Knowing by Estee Lauder to my nose though Knowing is not as sweet and is woodier.

Also tried the new flanker-agent provocateur petale noir-its lovely too-reminds me a lot of Amarige but spicier. I think it may be my next perfume purchase!

I actually went originally to buy Hypnotic poison but they didnt have the gift set that I wanted but I am not a hundred per cent sure about poison anyway-does anyone else on here like it? I try it and love it but then I start to think its a bit sickly? I want to love it because its by annick menardo-I have Lolita Lempicka and again I like it but think it does have an off note? prettiest bottle EVER though!

I also want the shalimar ode de vanille that dona was talking about but cant see it in the shops yet?....

I like Petale Noir, and also L'Agent.
Boudoir has viburnum- it has a very high top note, it can smell like dirty knickers, which is how it's come to the sex reputation.
I went back to try it and it was soapy and powdery as well
.
I also could never get on with L'Ombre dans I'eau. Find it fruity and very easy to over apply.