My 16 yr old has moved out to his nanas, he doesn’t get on with his step dad. I feel extremely guilty

[Jennlaw12]

My 16 year old has moved out and he has moved in with my mum.(his nana)
I feel so guilty because him and my husband (his step) dad didn’t get on but I feel this is all my fault.

Should I leave my husband and get a place on my own and get my son back.?
I’m so confused & upset I miss him so much.

Yes you should probably leave. My son who is 30 did the same 14yrs ago, he was 16 when he left and moved in with my parents. I did leave my partner anyway but my son had other reasons for wanting to move 250 miles away to live with my parents, but of course this situation made him leave 2yrs sooner. I had 2 other children with his step father which made it harder. I wish I’d left sooner, especially since my ex told me last year that he deliberately started to alienate him because he knew I didn’t really want to be with him and he knew it was the only way he could truly hurt me. And boy did he hurt me. 14yrs on I’m thankfully super close to all my children, but especially my eldest. My ex and him made their peace with each other 5yrs after my son left, for no other reason that my ex felt incredibly guilty and wanted to try and make some amends. My son tells me he’s long forgotten about it and he’s never held it against me, but I hold it against myself and wish I’d have left when it started. I felt so conflicted for my younger children but I should have left much sooner and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Sometimes kids just don’t like their parents moving on and being in relationships and sometimes there’s a justifiable reason for them moving out, only you know the answer to that.

No judgement from me, I know how hard it is and it’s so easy to say I’d have left months ago etc, but when it’s your reality it’s not always that easy. I hate myself for not leaving sooner and whilst my son has long forgiven me, ill never forgive myself, and I’ve stayed single ever since so I never have to put my other kids through that.

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