Alternative names for mastirbation

[Estherpologist]

Following on from the alternative names for the vulva thread, what do you call it when you masturbate? This is mainly a female question, because we all know that men just wank. Masturbation sounds so unsexy to me and I see no reason why womenen shouldn't wank too.

The only time I refer to masturbation is when I’m asking my DP to ensure that DD come up and hear the buzzing of a toy, so I call it ‘me time’ so
’hon can you please keep DD downstairs, I need some me time’

We call it 'having a solo 'O' '.

My wife calls it having a wank or "play time". Usually when she says wank its in a message to tease me when I'm not at home

Flicking the bean?

Ick, I hate this.
I say I'm DIYing it.

Just ‘having a play’ for us

(Oh the irony of spell checking algorithms and my thread title.🙄)

My DP asks if I’ve met Colonel Sanders recently!!

Having a fumble?

Getting myself off.

Love that. Katie's Fingered C_. 🤣

Having a fiddle.

Having a “go” said with a raised eyebrow
Annoying that there isn’t a word for it

Hand shandy

The League of Gentlemen:

• shaking hands with the Governor of Love

and the immortal:

• Shaking drops of sticky love-piss from the veiny tree

Spanking the plank

Slamming the ham

Beating the meat

All seem to apply to the male act rather than the female. Rubbing one out seems more apt but not particularly pleasing asca statement "I'm just going to run one out" 😟

For Men: "A date with the Five Fingered Widow".

Jacking and/or Jilling.

In my head I quite often use the phrase rubbing one out, but I don’t think I’ve ever said it out loud! I just say wank or masturbate.

Softening the peach
Paddling the pink canoe
Rub the nub

Google euphemisms for masturbation and take your pick 😉

I can't imagine anyone has ever said "I was having a paddle in the pink canoe" or "I want you to date me with your five fingered widow."

Rub the nub! I’m borrowing that one!

One of the nurses training with me called it an ‘MFT’ - middle finger tickle!!

Playing the one string banjo was probably one of the worst I’ve heard!

Beating about the bush.
Jill Off (opposite of Jack Off).
Having a Palmela Handerson.