To ask about masturbation

[colinandboo]

nc for this because its quite embarrassing. On tv and films women always seem to manage to masturbate sitting up or in the bath seems quite popular too.
If I ever do it, I have to lie on my front and sort of crunch up my whole body, I'm quite bent and hunched over and I play with myself with one hand.
But i try to avoid it because basically every time I have to book an osteopath or sports massage the next day to sort out HORRIBLY tense muscles around my neck, pecs and upper back. It costs me around £60 a time in reality!
Can it be done sitting up without hurting your back? Has anyone else experienced what I do?

No one needs the mental image of the op bent over like Quasimodo rubbing one out whilst googling chiropractors.

I didn't have this image, indeed I thought nothing of it. I often think people need to get over their puritanical ideologies when reading things online. But this sentence has made me laugh in quite a hysterical manner.

I hope it all comes well for you OP.

EdmundCleverClogs Don’t be such a dick. There’s no reason this sort of thing needs to be hush hush; it isn’t the nineteenth or even the twentieth century anymore.

The thread tells you what it’s about. If you’re opening just to click report, fine, do that, but nobody needs your nasty comments.

I explained my reasoning for opening the thread, perhaps you should read posts in little more detail than you evidently already do?

I successfully read your post where you said you'd opened the thread to report it. I'm suggesting that you refrain from reading the nitty gritty detail in future, just open, report and go on with your day

No one needs the mental image of the op bent over like Quasimodo rubbing one out whilst googling chiropractors

To be honest, this made me laugh too a bit more than it should have.

I didn't have a mental image, to be fair I focused on not going there, but when I opened it I also assumed something had to be wrong, because everyone knows you only post in Aibu if you want as many people as possible to read it. I just can't get my head round why you'd want that when your describing how you masturbate on line.

Just kinda feels icky wrong.

Why are some people so prudish, doesn't everyone masturbate? It's not like it wasn't added in the title. No need to click if your delicate constitution can't handle a genuine question about something completely natural!

@ImTheMary

nitty gritty

Huh?

You racist, Mary.

Is “nitty gritty” racist?

Shocked by the inability to discuss a totally normal activity, that most adults do. The sex topic doesn't get much traffic, so assuming that's why OP didn't post there first.
Sad we can't discuss this openly - even in an anonymous format.

I can understand the muscle spasm thing. Sometimes I can't come at all by relaxing & have to really tense myself or it doesn't quite get there. By myself or with a partner.

Current FWB can keep me dangling for ages & I end up with strained abdominal & chest muscles worth it though

p.s. this is a new name - someone IRL rumbled my last one

Olivera - Mumsnet has been trolled almost to the point of oblivion recently. It's not "really sad" that the op can't discuss masturbation on Mumsnet (although if she had posted on the sex topic she wouldn't have attracted all these impatient replies) - there must be a million sites on the internet where you can discuss masturbation 24/7 to your hearts content.

It is not pearl clutchy not to want the chat topic over run with trolls perving all over the place.

Could one of you please compile a list of the things we are and aren't allowed to discuss on AIBU?

Many thanks

If you just clicked on the thread to report it, why did you have to post a reply? That's clearly pearl-clutching. If you really thought it was that offensive then why promote the thread with your post?

OP, good luck with the vibrator

Aibu has a masturbation thread right now, but it’s man masturbation....
I’m not on any other chat websites and I normally look on Aibu as other boards are quite.... quiet.
Find it shocking that someone chased me over to this thread just to be horrible when they’d got what they wanted (thread moved and me shown to be genuine)

And thanks. I did have a vibrator once but it went off in a box when we were moving house and I threw it away after that!

Why? There’s nothing shameful about sex toys. Do you and your DH not play with any together?

Crikey I can do it whist cooking dinner standing on one leg tbh

Tinkerbellx Would you like a medal? Or perhaps share with us something you find difficult and we’ll all tell you how easy that is

(And yes, if at all you return you’ll go down the “it’s only a joke” angle, but if that was the case you would have put at the end.)

Apologies for not using the correct emoticon !
No it wasn't a joke .... made me feel quite lucky actually .
Excuse me while I go get on with dinner

Tinkerbellx Ok, so it’s absolutely true I shall repeat what I said earlier:

Would you like a medal? Or perhaps share with us something you find difficult and we’ll all tell you how easy that is

I’m really not sure what you hoped to gain by your boast. You didn’t offer any advice for the OP, just literally came on to boast about how you’ve got masturbation down to a tee.

Where are these nitty gritty facts people are alluding to? Genuine ask!

Whattodo, the OP asked Can it be done sitting up without hurting your back? Tinkerbell is demonstrating that yes, it can, even standing. Nothing offensive about that.

Olivera I didn’t say it was offensive, I said it was boastful, and it is.

OP, if it's any consolation, a thread asking about vagina-washing ended up the same way as this. Started either on Chat or AIBU and was reported as being some perve after a few kicks about what we do with our vaginas; then lo it was moved after much ado.

Tis just the way it goes. That thread also ended up in the Sex topic.

There we go.

A person can’t be racist for using the phrase nitty gritty if they have no idea about its origin.
What a horrible thing to say to the pp.
I’m part Jamaican and descend from slaves and I didn’t know anything about nitty gritty until I read about it on a thread in here.
I’d never accuse someone of being racist for saying it when they clearly have no idea what it means.
Better to be kind and explain as barely anyone irl knows what it means.