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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask about masturbation

74 replies

colinandboo · 19/02/2018 13:18

nc for this because its quite embarrassing. On tv and films women always seem to manage to masturbate sitting up or in the bath seems quite popular too.
If I ever do it, I have to lie on my front and sort of crunch up my whole body, I'm quite bent and hunched over and I play with myself with one hand.
But i try to avoid it because basically every time I have to book an osteopath or sports massage the next day to sort out HORRIBLY tense muscles around my neck, pecs and upper back. It costs me around £60 a time in reality!
Can it be done sitting up without hurting your back? Has anyone else experienced what I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
colinandboo · 19/02/2018 13:35

It just read a little like an insult.
Plenty of aibus are asking for input into problems, have it moved if you like.....

OP posts:
NauticalDisaster · 19/02/2018 13:36

Why not post on the Sex board? This isn't appropriate for AIBU. It's across all pervy.

Bluntness100 · 19/02/2018 13:36

are you not able to post on the sex board as you've not been a member long enough......?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 19/02/2018 13:37

That sounds very uncomfortable, OP. How on earth would you even reach orgasm if you’re so uncomfortable?! And how does this even relate to sex, are you not enjoying that either?

But as a pp said, you can retrain your body to let go in other positions.

EdmundCleverClogs · 19/02/2018 13:38

So you just decided to sign up to Mumsnet and use the busiest forum to ask this totally genuine question? You really believe that was the most appropriate way of doing it?

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 19/02/2018 13:38

Afternoon all,

We've (rather inevitably) had a LOT of reports about this thread. We've checked things out behind the scenes and can see that the OP's been on the site for years and years and doesn't have form for posting dodgy threads, so we're assuming this is a genuine ask.

We do think it'd be better off in our Sex topic, though. We're moving it now.

Original poster
colinandboo · 19/02/2018 13:39

I've been on mumsnet for ages. Have nc so someone can't go off finding out what else I've posted, which has happened to me before.

Am enjoying sex, but I can't orgasm with my dh, although there were no probs with other men.

OP posts:
QueenOfIce · 19/02/2018 13:40

I love the pearl clutching "There's a sex topic you know" replies 😆

Original poster
colinandboo · 19/02/2018 13:40

Thanks - I guess I shouldn't have nc'd but then people snoop and bring up irrelevancies....

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/02/2018 13:42

Well ok you're a long term member, but you'd think you'd know that this sort of thing is always going to raise questions if posted bizzarely on Aibu.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 19/02/2018 13:42

Have you tried any sex toys OP?

Original poster
colinandboo · 19/02/2018 13:44

A while ago WTDAT - someone suggested a vibrator upthread so I am going to go shopping.

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 19/02/2018 13:46

So why didn’t you post in the ‘sex’ topic if you’ve been here years Hmm. Do you really think that many people want to read about your wanking habits over their lunch? Seriously, this isn’t about being prudish, it’s using an ounce of common sense about being appropriate. You N/C because you’re supposedly so embarrassed yet posted on the busiest forum on here. I hope you manage to sort out your wanking problem soon.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 19/02/2018 13:46

Yeah a vibrator is a good idea, then you can try and find a more relaxing position and retrain your body Smile

NauticalDisaster · 19/02/2018 13:47

@QueenOfIce it isn't pearl clutching, it is keeping the wank fodder seekers confined to one part of the boards

Original poster
colinandboo · 19/02/2018 13:49

You didn't have to click it, it was fairly clearly marked!
Clearly it was beyond the pale - I've seen plenty of 'rude' stuff on aibu, but this is still taboo, never mind.

OP posts:
ImTheMary · 19/02/2018 13:51

Oh god, I get that people might be careful about not posting details about how they masturbate on a troll thread but MN have looked into OP and are happy she's genuine and it's just masturbation. Does that really put people off their lunch?!

OP, I did used to have a similar problem and certainly found it easier on my front but have since managed to relax a bit and, as PPs upthread have suggested, trained myself to enjoy other, more comfortable, positions!

ClosDesMouches · 19/02/2018 13:56

I hope you manage to sort out your wanking problem soon.

I’m laughing at this more than I probably should. Thanks Edmund 😁

EdmundCleverClogs · 19/02/2018 13:56

You didn't have to click it, it was fairly clearly marked!

I clicked it with the full intention of reporting yet another pervert thread. It reads exactly like one and the fact you show no posting history (I only check because I don’t report people with a large history) very much suggested troll to me and others. I accept you’re not, but that doesn’t mean that your topic seemed to be deliberately ‘shock value’ and posted somewhere that it would get much traffic. You can’t honestly be surprised, as a longtime poster, that a thread like this would be deemed suspicious or written by a perv?

EdmundCleverClogs · 19/02/2018 13:59

Does that really put people off their lunch?!

No one needs the mental image of the op bent over like Quasimodo rubbing one out whilst googling chiropractors Hmm.

If she wanted advice, there’s plenty of appropriate places to ask.

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 19/02/2018 14:03

0P you are not the only one.
People are being idiots on this thread. It's hardly a subject that is talked about casually so how anyone can judge whether your position is unusual or not is beyond me.

ImTheMary · 19/02/2018 14:03

No one needs the mental image of the op bent over like Quasimodo rubbing one out whilst googling chiropractors .

I didn't have that mental image at all - feel like it would take some effort to conjure that up. Perhaps you're particularly sensitive and just shouldn't have opened, and then read (in great detail judging by the mental image you've described) a thread that is clearly about masturbation.

ImTheMary · 19/02/2018 14:06

And I think it's understandable that OP would be embarrassed about her thread being seen by a large number of people if her username made her identifiable but wouldn't be embarrassed if she were anonymous.

Original poster
colinandboo · 19/02/2018 14:10

Thanks ImTheMary, I thought it was getting more talked about, especially when I heard it on women's hour - although Jenni Murray seemed a bit shocked.

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 19/02/2018 14:12

Perhaps you're particularly sensitive and just shouldn't have opened, and then read (in great detail judging by the mental image you've described) a thread that is clearly about masturbation.

I explained my reasoning for opening the thread, perhaps you should read posts in little more detail than you evidently already do? Pervert trolls are rife at the moment, and they wouldn’t be embarrassed in the slightest about a big audience. So not sensitive, just a bit fed up of people starting threads on weird sexual matters. Never would have known or cared if it was in the Sex forum to begin with.

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