Used my Safeword. Dom didn't stop. I'm NBU? Right?

[RoseOfSharyn]

As per the title....

I used my safe word. He continued woth what he was doing.....'Just not as hard.'

I've hit the roof, kicked him out and told him all trust is gone.

He thinks I'm overreacting.

Clearly I trusted the wrong person and I'm a cunt.

I know very little about sub/Dom relationships, but from my layman's position, the safe word means "NO".

And no means no.

YANBU.

Absolutely not overreacting. He should have stopped. Consent is an ongoing process.

Of course you're NBU.

Yanbu. I hope you're ok

YANBU do not continue anything with him in the future.

Safe word is exactly that.,,,, a fuvking safe word.
You cannot trust him again - he is cunt. game over.

You're not a cunt and he assaulted you.
Trust yourself here. And spread it around the community to keep others safe

You are not being unreasonable at all! The safe word is law! Absolutely zero point in having it if either of you are ever going to ignore. Safe word rules all. That is non negotiable. Ever. He has broken all trust. In your shoes I could never feel safe with him again.

Sorry I realise this isn't AIBU!

Safe word is an instant stop. Not slow. Not softer. Stop. A sub puts her/his trust in the Dom. To ignore a safe word is assault. Dump him. He's no Dom.

Agree with pp's who say he needs gone, a scene relationship is foremost and always about trust, that no longer exists with him

You are not being unreasonable. He should have stopped immediately and is no Dom. Are you ok? Do you have kink friends IRL who you can talk to? You did absolutely the right thing. Have a hot sugary drink and a biscuit. I'm so sorry this happened to you. X

This is all exactly what I have told him..

If I'd said 'stop' then less hard/slower, etc would have been fine. But I didn't, I used my safeword!

I'm beyond upset and furious with myself.

He claimed he 'didn't understand'!! WTF?!

He understands perfectly well. He just didn't want to stop. He put himself first and is now lying to you about it. Get rid and don't look back!

Dutchess no I don't unfortunately.

I have ordered a kebab and have poured a large vino. More my type of comfort food than a cuppa and a biccy.

I'm ok, more emotionally hurt than physically.

Thank you all.

Of course he understood! What is there to misunderstand? The safe word means one thing. There is no ambiguity about it.

He understood perfectly. The very definition of a safe word is that activity stops immediately. He knows that. But he chose to carry on without your consent.

Are you ok OP?

Thank you Ashes. I'm ok.

Once the trusts gone......

You won't trust him again now. Sorry man

It wasn't anything awfully bad (i.e. strangling etc) but he has broken the skin.

Interesting that the first thing he did when I asked him to leave after the minimising was to collect all of the props/toys and take them home! Ha!

Loser.

gamer thanks matey.

This is exactly how I feel.

You put yourself into someone control like that takes so so so much trust.

It's gone.

I can never get it back.

Not do I want to knowing what a selfish, minimising, abusive cunt he is.

Nor* damn autocorrect

If you are doing anything that all which requires a safeword, that safeword means stop completely right now. Trust is so essential in any D/s stuff, if trust is gone, that person is gone.

I don't know much about this stuff but even I know a safe word means everything stops immediately.

At least you found out he isn't to be trusted before something worse happened