Not wearing a kilt to a wedding - excuses needed!

[SirChenjin]

Family member is getting married soon. Some of the men in my extended family and all on her side are wearing kilts - it's a sign of being Scottish apparently

DH and DS1 have no interest whatsoever in wearing a kilt. They want to wear a nice suit - but are worried that this will mark them down as snobs/weirdos/insert name of choice here by some of the more vocal members of the group.

What's a good response to this nonsense if anyone starts? (yes Uncle, I am looking g at you)

Simple: "I prefer wearing a suit". (Along the lines of the MN "Did you mean to be so rude?" )

While I personally love guys in kilts, there were plenty at our wedding who didn't wear them and not just the English/Welsh. Didn't cross my mind to judge them.

Just turn up in suits. Don't ask, don't explain.

Which will be met with 'why on earth do you prefer a suit to a kilt - are you mad?' - and neither of them want to have to.justify themselves in some sort of measure of Scottishness.

I like some blokes in kilts - but it very much depends on the bloke and the kilt

Definitely then use the "Did you mean to be so rude?" riposte then

Or simply refuse to engage and repeat as nauseum "I prefer a suit".

Plenty of Scottish guys don't like wearing the kilt my DH included. I would have loved him to be married in a kilt,he would really suit one in my opinion, he didn't want to end of discussion. None of my family cared (half of them Scottish half of them Welsh) some of the guests wore the kilt some did not it was just not an issue.

Oooh you could have so much fun with this... NB the following are designed to be so ridiculous they'll stop conversation. Disclaimer: I have had 2 glasses of wine tonight so my judgement may be off.

You could say loudly I've got explosive diaoreah and didnt want to be without my pants. (is it just me that can hear that being said in Susan Calman's voice?)

Or that I've not been able to wear one since I saw Braveheart/Macbeth and got nightmares.

Or, kilts aren't long enough for me WINK WINK.

It's easier to smuggle drugs in in your pants.

Put hands in pockets and say you can't see me giving you the finger right now!

red - you have nailed it! All of these excuses are spot on - Uncle won't know what's hit hI'm and will be rendered speechless smarmy git that he is

Although if they all fail it's back to that well known MN riposte

Eehhxcellehnt!

3rd wine downed?

My granddad was a Scotsman, he hated a kilt and thought the modern trend for wearing them at weddings was just sentimental bollocks. Use that.

Hope that helps, lol

Oi Arf - you get back here. The Incident???

Bad - that is absolutely added to The List of Kilt Excuses!! I'm with your grandad - when did it become a thing to wear a kilt to a wedding?? Esp one of those non descript tartans or when they are teamed with one of those awful lace up white shirts

Explain that they have adopted a new modest religion, and are forbidden to expose their knees.
They plan to do a lot of very energetic dancing later on, and don't want to flash their underwear (or lack of)
They're on probation and not allowed to carry any weapons, which precludes wearing a skene-dhu (sp?) and no kilt wearer should be without one of them.
They've become vegans so can't wear a sporran made from animal fur

I really don't think anyone will care.

I've been to loads of weddings (in Scotland) and most of the men/boys don't wear kilts.

It is not like they are the cheapest item to buy/hire.

Love it! They are now on The List too. Pauvre Once...his Competitive Scottishness won't know what to do with itself!

I've never known anyone have to justify not wearing a kilt. You're probably over thinking it

Oncle

Queen - sadly they will. I am in no doubt whatsoever, knowing some of my family as I do.

"Wear a kilt?! With my legs?!" said in a tone of shocked disbelief and a sad shake of the head.

Although, I've never been at a wedding where anyone cared really.

Oh bum Arf - I thought you had a sordid story to share

What about a half way house solution? Tartan trews and a jacket rather than a suit or kilt?

We went to a wedding where the bride asked men to wear kilts but emphasized no pressure, my dh was the only one of all his friends who didn't he still regrets it. I've got to say it was really good fun but I need get to see far more willies and bums than can ever be necessary non of us are Scottish btw not the bride her family or the groom .

No - tartan trews are definitely not an option. I think 18 year old DS would rather be seen in one of my frocks

Just say that Scottishness is not a competition and it's such a cliche to wear a kilt. It shows a lack of imagination. You'd prefer to wear your own clothes rather than ones which have someone else pish splash on them.

Mmm....looking for something that's perhaps less likely to cause a rammy in the car park