Did anyone leave a London life they loved for the countryside and regret it?
We live in a lovely, villagey part of East London. We’re close friends with several families on our street, all with children around our son’s age. He’s four, very happy at a fantastic school, and we have a full life here. We go to the theatre, meet friends, do activities. On paper, I’m describing exactly the sort of life I always wanted.
But since having him, I’ve started to find London exhausting. Everywhere feels busy. I’m constantly watching for him running off, managing crowds, and feeling on edge. Even when we go somewhere wonderful, I’m often not enjoying it. I just feel overwhelmed. More and more, I want space, quiet and a view out of the window that isn’t another building.
This is strange for me. I moved to a city at 17, have lived in London for 20 years, and always loved being in the thick of things. I can’t tell whether something fundamental has changed, or whether this is simply what life feels like with a young child and a demanding job. I work from home most days but need to be in London twice a week; my husband also mostly works from home. We’re hoping to have another baby soon.
I’ve also begun to wonder whether so much choice is actually making us happier. I love that my son can see brilliant shows and do almost anything we think of, but does a child need all that? Would a local theatre production, a few familiar cafés and more time outdoors be just as good? I’m using fewer of London’s endless options myself these days, and I’m certainly not looking for nights out until 2am.
We’re looking at somewhere properly rural: five minutes’ drive to the nearest village, 15 minutes to a station, then an hour into London. There isn’t really anywhere to walk to. In my head, we’d make friends through school and local groups, explore the nearby villages, and still have a rich, busy life, just with a car involved. I’m aware that might be a rather romantic picture, especially when it’s dark and raining and everyone needs a lift.
My biggest fear is giving up the friends and community we already have, then feeling lonely or bored once the children are older. I also wonder what rural life is like for teenagers. But I’m equally worried about ignoring this strong feeling that the life I used to love no longer quite fits.
Has anyone made this kind of move when it felt like a complete change of personality? Did the craving for space last, or did you find yourself missing the city once your children got older? I’d really appreciate honest experiences, including regrets.