Why did I get married? Why didn't I listen to my constant gut feeling?
I hate being in this relationship.
We got married in September this year after being together for almost 9 years. We have two DS's. A four year old and an 8 month old.
DH is, and always has been, chauvinist. Why I didn't see it years ago I'll never know. Every argument is the same. I'm a Childminder and as far as I'm concerned it is a full time job. He says it's just like being a SAHM and I should do all the housework/look after the house plus look after the children. It sounds petty but he complains he gets no thanks for working so hard - well, I can't remember the last time I did either. He thinks Childminding is a nothing job.
I don't like him at all and really struggle to have a conversation with him never mind have a sexual relationship.
I just want to be left on my own with the children - I actually envy my single parent friends. Their lives seem to be full of exciting things and have no stress at home.
He goes out every weekend plus occasionally during the week and is usually out all night then comes in drunk the next morning, laying in bed all day or just completely useless all day.
If he does any washing up or other household job he will remember it for at least a week, using it as ammunition. "Well, I did the washing up on such and such a day"
Fair enough, he cooks most of our evening meals when he comes home from work but he's told me many times he enjoys it, it's his way of relaxing. So why does he throw it in my face (not the actual dinner!) when we have a row?
That is the only thing he does do btw. At the weekend he behaves like a teenage boy. I'm picking up after him as well as the children. The weekend is harder work for me than during the week with two other mindees! I dread the weekends.
I just want to get out and I don't know how. My parents spent a fortune on the wedding and the guests spent a lot of money on us/to get to the wedding. I just feel like such a fraud.