just found out DH having affair and I'm remarkably calm!

[scodgie]

I've been in a bit of a loveless marriage for a while. A few months ago I asked him outright if he was having an affair as all the signs were there and he looked me in the eye and said 'no'.
I did a tiny bit of digging today as his behaviour recently has been odd to say the least and found an incriminating email which he can't lie about.
My only dilema is to divorce or not to divorce???? We have 2 lovely DS and I don't want them to suffer. I am not considering divorce because of affair but because of being shut out and lied to. Any thoughts?

Some good points raised, thanks to all. I have realised I have nothing to gain by telling OW's H. Hopefully all this will trigger her into sorting out her own relationship.

I'm still trying to sort things with my H and it's a long and painful process.