How do I get DP to give me some FOREPLAY?

[shyNembarrased]

HOW?

how about telling us here then showing him the thread? (would he do the stimulation whilst er, pounding as it were?)

shy.. i agree with others on here... don't let him go onto the "second bit"

Have a chat with him... tell him it's getting you down.. and that you are banning penetration for a week. You can both touch... anywhere/everywhere... but no penetrative sex..
I think he'll be surprised at how good it can be!

A little alcohol to reduce both your inhibitions seems in order. Then try to guide him, take his hand. I sometimes tease dw by using my tongue on the back of her shoulder... maybe you could do something similar to demnstrate without having to look him in the eye?

have u tried the candle and seductive room approach? (using feathers and blind folds?)

Honest Answer?

I just gave up

dont think my dh knows what foreplay is....

anyway

maybe you could play that game where you hide something (a choccie button maybe) on your body and he has to find it with his tongue?

or there are board games which you can buy like fantasy for lovers in which you move around the board doing sexual dares and stuff.

or alternativly you could always do what i did and go to work for ann summers.......

Tried candles, feathers, blindfolds ect

Happydaddy yes it is better when we have a bit of alcohol, he isn't to inhibited then, (its not great but better) Also its nice to have a male persective.

I give him loads of foreplay and he complains if he doesn't get it, he seems to think its my 'job' to do it to him, why don't I get the same favour? He has even told me to get myself ready!!!!! While I'm not inhibited in that way IYKWIM it would be so much better if he was to do it!!!

My ex used to expect me to do it to her but refused to reciprocate. I just told her that she'd have to sort herself out then. She tried to change then, cos I'm so bloomin' great! lol

Maybe I should tell DP to sort himself out then lol.

I think you should, he's being rather selfish. Doesn't matter if he's "shy", he just can't be bothered.

Huggybear, where do I get an application form? lol

have you tried massage? DH bought me some lovely essential oils and a big bottle of carrier oil. We have had a lot of fun mixing and matching the combinations and ,um, putting them to good use! We take turns - one night for him and one for me, that way we don?t have to worry about switching over or balance - just relax for half an hour or so, often no more than a nice massage and a shower. Neither of us were very good at massages at first but we are slowly getting better at it and having fun at the same time. Best birthday pressie in ages. Maybe worth considering something that involves physical touch without the sex bit - if it leads to it, fine, but no expectations and no pressure/time limits. Just an idea.
HTH

Happydaddy but in every other way he is the most unselfish person I have ever met.

ooh forget that - get ur self ready? u might as well book a slot in the diary! do the no sex for a week and just be intimate.

i think if it was me i would have a bit of bondage, tie his hands up and then do everything to him you would like done to you, even let him see you doing to your self what you like he may get the idea then,

Sorry basketcase but I've tried that too, DP gets to excited and want to go to the second stage to soon........... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

shyNembarrassed In RL I'm the shyest person in the world. Although dw says I seem to lose all inhibitions in the bedroom. I think it's because it's so intimate and private. I want to please her, it makes me enjoy it more. I really can't imagine only wanting penetration and nothing else. Sorry if I sounded a little too harsh on your dh.

Yep, tie him up. Tell him he has to wait until you're ready...

...then go down the pub.

Fostermum, the letting him 'see' how to do it sounds like a good idea, but letting him watch ... maybe after lots of alcohol lol.

And I'd second the chocolate (or golden syrup or honey) suggestionn. If he's a bit uncomfortable about the whole tongue thing it helps a lot if what he's doing tastes nice!

Does he try to make sure you come?

Happydaddy PMSL

HD - I did that once to an ex.

Had a bloody good night in the pub too

That'll teach him to be more attentive! LOL

my dp is brilliant but he mainly stimulates my clitoris with his tongue/mouth - that's what makes me come. I'm not overly bothered about him putting his tongue inside me. When he does do oral on you do you have orgasms?

I bet he just thinks he's no good at it and is embarrassed too. If he's unselfish in other ways I'm sure he would want to give you pleasure. You have to talk to him, explain how a woman's body works and that not that many of us have orgasms by penetration alone. I read only last week that in some survey of women in long term relationships the majority found it easiest to orgasm through oral sex. It's just the best way. Get him a book or a video or something and encourage him loads!

listmaker when he does oral, yes I do orgasm but its so sensitive there that the orgasms are... not sure how to explain it... but they are so intense that its almost like an electric shock (if that makes sense).

I would just love for DP to gently stroke me, kiss me passionately, (he doesn't kiss me passionately either ) spend some time to get me arroused and explore my 'erogenous zones' gently not treat my 'bits' as if he were kneading dough!!

By there I mean the clitoris (and that is the only part of me that he will touch)