Girlfriend (19F) says she "doesn't feel the need" for physical affection anymore. How do I approach this? (M19)

[HoLee]

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend for just over a year and I love her a lot. We've had ups and downs, including a two-month break, but we worked through it and came out closer.
We've never had sex (we tried once and it didn't happen), but for most of the relationship we had a healthy level of physical intimacy: kissing, touching, etc. She was pressured into sex by an ex when she was 15 and wasn't ready for it, and she says she hasn't had sex since. Whenever things go further than a certain point, she shuts it down, and I've always respected that without pressure or complaint.
The change is that over the past month we haven't made out once, and we barely hug or cuddle. A few nights ago I brought it up. She agreed she can't remember the last time we kissed and said she "doesn't feel the need" for it. When I asked if she's still physically attracted to me, she said nothing has changed, she just doesn't feel the need.
I've never pressured her and I never will. But the longer this goes on, the more disappointed and drained I feel around her. My mind has started to wander, though I would never cheat.
We go to university in the same city and I stay at her place most nights, so we're together constantly.

I don’t think you are suited for each other. Move on.

You're 19. Relationships aren't meant to feel draining. You should be living your best years at uni.

What on earth brings you to Mumsnet of all places?

I agree with pp. It seems you are not compatible. I would advise you to move on.

You’re 19, at uni and should be out having fun. This relationship is not going anywhere. Can you really picture this still being your life in another year or two? I would end the relationship if it was me, and what I would be advising my own son who is the same age as you.

I do not think this is normal no. Maybe she needs a bit of time out. But whatever it is, it is not for you so friend zone her and find someone who does want sex and sexual activity.

You can't solve this one, and I think that staying with her is going to lead to heartbreak as you deepen your connection to her, but don't have a sexually fulfilling relationship.

She could simply be a-sexual, traumatised by past experiences, or a lesbian. It takes a while for young people to figure out their sexuality and some only fully realise it when they're in they're 30s or older.

She has to be the instigator of solving this, otherwise it'll lead down a bad path. It's really tough to accept, but in the end, it's likely you'll both be happier if you split.

Not normal, she will only bring you pain. Life should be full of joy and physical intimacy at 19

In the nicest possible way, you’re both teenagers, you’ve only been together a year and have already had ‘ups and downs’ and a two month break, you’ve never had sex and your girlfriend has signaled it’s something she doesn’t have any interest in. Just move on. Relationships aren’t meant to be this much of a slog.

You are too young to be stuck in a sexless relationship and this situation isn't likely to improve. End it and find someone who enjoys the physical side of things as much as you do. Its sad but she isn't the one for you.

At 19?? Walk away

Good lord get out there and shag with gay abandon.
As for her it seems she has been traumatised by her previous experiences. She may need therapy to change her views on sex and physical intimacy. I feel for her but this is not your problem to solve. She’s basically a friend at this point, you can break up while still offering her your support.

I've got that Friday feeling 😆

Dump her. There’s loads of older women into younger men now who will show you a good time, lots of them on here.

She's telling you loud and clear that she doesn't want sex with you. If you want a sexual relationship - which most 19 year old men would - you need to find someone else.

You do not need a reason to end a relationship. You do not need to justify your decision. You can finish with someone on any grounds or none.

But in this case, it happens that you have a very good reason and justification with which few would argue.

pimping us all out now, Man5?
the advice given is mostly maternal,
appropriate for a ‘teenager’ - thanks all the same

EDIT: Before her I had couple of girls and intimacy was never the problem so this is something that bothers me deeply. Im here because reddit is trash but i see lot of comments that suggest breaking up. Ive considered giving a deadline (and not telling her) to try and let time settle it. Ill continue reading the comments thank you all so much

Let's say you live until you're 79. That means a lifetime of no sex if you stay with this girl. That's 69 years! Ridiculous! She's not the one for you!

Move on.

I’d gently suggest she has some therapy.
I’d also think about ending it op to be honest.

Forget her. No need for analysing, text her it's not working for you, all the best, byeeeee.

You end the relationship in a kind but honest way, saying you are not compatible. And you do not resume the relationship even if she says she has changed her mind.

Age sounds asexual, I think you should just be best friends

Very cruel and traumatic to be dumped like that. I think op has more kindness and respect that that method.

Sorry but this relationship is over. I hope you get over it quickly and the next woman is a better match.