Does he want to see me or not? Is he into me or not?

[Twinkortwee]

Trying to decide if this is a case of a bit of distance work around or just not that into me.

Met through a work event, and randomly gave a mutual friend from primary school days.

We live 2 hours away from each other. We work about 20 mins away from each other but I work from home most days, and he only works from home one day. I regularly need to leave the office on time because of childcare. And I don’t work FT. He works FT and doesn’t have DC.

First date went really well. He was very generous. I really didn’t want to go all out for dinner and be so fancy. He sort of insisted and paid.

Stayed together in a hotel that evening. Sex was great.

Next day, asking if I got home okay. I said I did. Then silence until the next evening saying he had been busy with friends wedding stuff, and was finally relaxing now. I replied how good it was to see him and he said he had a great time. That was it. Silence for a further 3 days. Then a message to wish me happy birthday

Then nothing again. 12 days later, I get a message ‘Hey. When am I seeing you again?’

I said aren’t you going on holiday (he told me he was going to Cuba). He said he was this Sunday, haha.

Sunday rolls around and he sends me a pic of his feet at the airport. Message then said ‘You will have to wait until I get back in 12 days haha’

He is on that holiday still now and uploading a lot to Instagram with his brother and friend tagged in everything. Seems legit that he’s there

What do you think? Is this a slow burn or is he just being playful with me from afar?

I really like him. Tried a date with someone else last week and he just didn’t tick the boxes this guy does

3 days silence followed by 1 message then 12 days silence!! I wouldn't have bothered replying at all after 12 days.

He's clearly not that interested but since you slept with him on the first date he'll probably be back in touch next time he fancies a casual shag.

I mean, I’m quite a distance away for a casual shag?

I really thought he ‘might’ just be taking his time as he does follow through and make the plans 😞

Like when he arranged the first date, I thought he was really interested as it’s quite a distance and pain to set up. Yet he showed me he was keen through actions etc

It could well be that he likes you, but the distance is putting him off so he's not super enthusiastic and is keeping his options open.

I get the feeling this is true. Something tells me this is exactly it

He did ask on the first date if I’d ever move back to London/Kent area (where him and my own family are based around)

I said I didn’t think so. Maybe. Possibly? But almost certainly no, really

if you ever have to wonder if a man is seriously interested then he's not.

You gave him too much too soon. How well do you really know him to be sleeping with him on a first date? Also doesn't really give the best impression.

The ‘haha’ thing would be enough to put me right off.

You've had one date.

He probably doesn't even know whether he's into you yet or not.

Chill out. If you like him wait and see how things unfold. If you do not like how relaxed he's being then make a decision not to see him again.

I’ve had many of these unfortunately- they want to keep you around to boost their ego and have sex with occasionally but not a relationship so it really depends what you want.
My experience is that if they are into you then you don’t question whether they are or not.

I feel like he’s being quite chilled out about it, but definitely ‘feel’ like the internet is genuine

I suppose I will have to wait and see if this other date materialises when he’s back

He didn't bother to contact you for almost 2 weeks yet you still think he's interested?

You’re over-investing OP. It was one date, sex, and a meagre number of messages. Forget about him for the time being and focus your energy on something/someone else. The effort he put in was arranging a date - it’s not that difficult to do.

I think you know when someone is into you

Fnar fnar.

You’re a booty call. Or an engine - he only warms you up when he needs to use you.

i think he just wants something casual, he wouldn’t be leaving such long gaps in between messages if he wanted to build a relationship. I wouldn’t have the patience for that type of guy he would have been long gone.

Fancy dinner = buying sex. Was the hotel part of the date plan? Or booked after dinner?

I think if someone is into you, you know it. Someone who doesn't contact you for 12 days is not that into you!

If a man is interested, he acts interested and you don’t need to wonder.

He messaged you again after 12 days because he fancied some sex and you demonstrated to him that you are easy and willing. He’s keeping you hanging for if he fancies a shag some time after he gets back from holiday.

I think you might have done better not to sleep with this man if you wanted an actual relationship with him.

Hi OP. I hate to say it but I think the other posters are right. The “when am I seeing you again” is also entitled and rude. He should ask if you’d like to see him again / if he can see you again, not demand it like he is a prize.

You have done nothing wrong here by sleeping with him. He clearly isn’t very emotionally intelligent nor is he open to a relationship. I think he just wants casual sex.

You're too good for this fella. He isn’t worth the leg shave.

Oh lady I feel so sorry for you reading this. Please look reality in the eye and accord yourself some value!

I'd park the entire situation right there to be honest and walk away.

He sounds like he'll pick you up and put you down whenever it suits him. He is very disrespectful.

You don't want that. You are better than that.

He isn’t worth the leg shave.

too right @TheMentalMentalLoad 😄

I got a message from him this morning with a picture of the sea

‘Blue, ocean blue. Your eyes sparkle just like it’

Why do men do this transparent stuff? Lol

Sleeping with him changed the dynamic.. now it's booty call territory unfortunately