My husband said he’s sick of giving me hugs

[Moonandstarsandsun]

Hi it’s just want my title said. I wanted a hug earlier and he started shouting at me saying it’s annoying, he’s sick of giving me hugs every day and to grow up. I don’t get any affection from him and he doesn’t say he loves me. We only have sex when I’m fertile. He never gives me any compliments or wants to engage in chat/talk about our day. When he’s on shift he doesn’t txt me or anything. No morning or good night texts. Never says he’s looking forward to seeing me when he gets home. He gives the cat more affection than me.

Oh christ don't get pregnant by him!

What a ***
I would cuddle the cat instead.
are you low or is this a relationship you need support to leave?

Well, he's just nasty. I don't think you should stay with someone who treats you like this.

Then what are you doing? Why stay with someone who acts like they hate you? Why are you having sex with him at all? Surely you dont want a child with him? Know your worth.

Ugh.

Find someone who enjoys a hug. Hugs are lovely.

So why would you ttc with someone who treats you like this rather than divorce?

Stop having unprotected sex with him. Divorce him and find someone who wants to give you hugs and enjoys your hugs.

I’m sorry op. Virtual hug.
It’s the worst feeling when your loved one refuses to give you a hug. My husband has been like this in tbe past. He’s a bit better at them now he’s older!!!

I’ll have to leave him. It’s just all the headache to do it. I don’t have any money. I’m on relatively low wages to have my own home.

I don’t know where to begin. I’m 42 starting over.

Dear god do everything in your power to not have a baby with him! Can you imagine having to deal with him for the next 20 years? Because that's what'll happen if you get pregnant.

It sound horrible. I was going to come in and ask if you were draping yourself over him half the day and that was what he was finding annoying, but it sounds like you're just asking for basic affection.

My 2 kids (teens) both hug me a few times a day - I can't imagine telling them off for it.

So you’re 42, not financially independent and you’re trying to get pregnant to a man who hates you?
You have bigger issues to sort out than not getting any hugs.

Go on contraception while you figure it out. Or better still, stop sleeping with him. Your loneliness will get far worse when there's a baby in the mix.

Bloody hell don't have a baby with this emotionally stunted idiot! Its not fair on the child apart from anything else.

Oh my god. Don't have sex with him. Get on contraception. LEAVE!

Please don't subject an innocent/baby child to this relationship and having this horrid man as a father.

Starting again in your 40s is way better than staying with this guy. Seriously.

Don’t have a child with this man. Considering how mean and contemptuous he is to you, I’m not sure why he’s wanting to have sex with you when you’re fertile. He can’t treat you with respect but wants children with you? I’d leave, nothing about him or this situation sounds healthy.

You’ll feel so much better without him.

Why do you want a baby with someone who doesn’t have the same standards for affection as you do? You’re setting yourself up for disaster and disappointment.

Why on earth are you trying to get pregnant??

@Moonandstarsandsun

I definitely don't think you should have a baby with him. Also, (and I know I may get jumped on for this,) but do you think you should even be trying for a baby at 42?

I don't think you sound suited at all though, and he doesn't sound particularly nice. However I have to say, it would wear me down, if someone kept continually asking me for hugs. It would drive me mad. I find this really intense and needy behaviour. Sounds like your partner does too.

Definitely don’t have a baby with him!

However, the fact you only have sex with him when you’re fertile - is that your choice or his? I realise he certainly isn’t doing anything kind or caring to get you in the mood for sex, but is it possible he thinks he is being used as a baby-making machine? I’m not validating his behaviour, and it certainly isn’t the way to get you to want sex more frequently - but I’m just wondering if it is a possible reason.

42 is a good time to start over. Plenty of life ahead of you. I know it doesn’t feel like it right this moment.

God, dont have a baby with him. Leave, this isn't a loving relationship id rather be alone than be with a man like this .

I dont like being touched all the time OP. My ex husband just wouldnt stop touching me and I couldnt stand it. Its because I come from a very cold family where there were no hugs ever.
It sounds like you are very mismatched in this area.
Is he using you to have children?
I think you either need to talk or go to counselling to get to the bottom of this before having a child for sure.

This is really sad for you op, but I think you have become blinded by a desire to have a child to properly think. It isn’t fair on a baby to bring them in to this situation.

That was my first thought: sort out contraception straight away.
42 is still young enough to change direction. You surely don't want to spend a lifetime with someone who is cold and nasty towards you.