Was I harsh telling my friend this about her situation?

[GrilledPineapples]

My friend became pregnant after a one night stand with a married man. She decided to keep the baby.

He wanted to stay with his wife and so it was agreed that he would attend appointments and the birth. I warned her it would be difficult and messy. His wife went with him to the appts and then they left each time when my friend said she only wanted him in the room with her.

When it came to the c section date. He didn’t turn up and the wife messaged to say they had decided that in order to save their marriage he couldn’t be involved. I had to rush last minute to be with her instead as she had nobody else to be her birth partner.

She wants me to try to speak to him as he has blocked her. The only ‘contact’ is him sending money every month (baby is 4 months old now)

I’ve told her that no, I won’t help anymore. She knew he was married and pursued him and I’m not going to get involved anymore as I don’t actually agree with what she did at all, that I have kept quiet till now but I just can’t anymore. On a practical level I’ll help but I’m not interested in what seems to be her attempt to sabotage his marriage. She needs to keep things calm and stable for her child and pursue things legally if necessary (can she go to court for contact ?) he’s paying her so it’s at least not a maintenance issue. She said I’m harsh ?

Silly cow (sorry but she really does sound like one!). ..and the married man's just as bad! The poor wife. What a mess

Sadly your friend sounds like a selfish cow throughout the whole thing who now can't handle rejection.
I do hope she sees some sense soon enough and just concentrate on being a good mum. Poor wife, poor child. I really hope she didn't have the child soley because she thought that it would be access to the man?

I can see why you would loose respect for a friend but is this typical for her or a one off?

I had a friend who I eventually drifted from because she rinsed men for money. She'd go form guy to guy love bombing them and taking what she could. She ended up convincing someone to marry her by saying she had some dreadful medical condition and manipulating him. That was it for me. but she'd done that for years.

if you friend just had a single one night stand and accidentally got pregnant I wouldn't crucify her. He is to blame too. He could have wrapped it up! He had. A wife and he had free will. So if anyone sabotaged his marriage it was him. It if this is a long term part of her behaviour you can't stomach anymore walk away

An unfortunate situation for all involved.

This just sounds so sad, three adults who are not thinking of the child’s best interests just about themselves. There is a small child who is stuck in the middle of this shit show. I would not get involved out of principle. I might write a letter to all three as a final gesture, same letter to all, saying how sad you think this situation is, that you hope for the sake of the child that they all can work out how to best support this growing life without thinking of themselves and that you will not be partaking in any mediation or message giving between them. Then I would drop out of the whole thing and probably the friendship too unless they start acting like decent people.